What is the name of your state? VA
My ex and I have an appeal scheduled for Jan. 11th (he wants physical custody).
We have spoken at the children's school, in detail about everything from the court's decision, the kids school, the children in general, etc., and this is what he was telling me:
- "I have no problem with you having custody of the kids, but I appealed it because my attorney was crap!"
- "If the GAL saw anything wrong he would of taken the kids from you"
So why the appeal? That question remains to be unanswered...my thought is he wants his child support lowered.
Anyway, in the past few weeks he has requested to keep the kids through Monday morning instead of bringing them home on Sunday evenings. I let him do it one time, but told him I thought it would be in the best interest for the kids if we just followed the court order until the appeal was over with (as suggested from many here).
The one time he did keep them til Monday, his wife took the kids to school. Ex came by after work that afternoon to return the kids clothing, etc from the weekend. I gave him the lunchboxes that the kids had used for that day (they were his).
Evidently he got home and realized that the envelopes that his wife had given the kids that morning with breakfast money in them hadn't been opened. He called wanting to know why the kids didn't eat breakfast that morning.
After a long conversation with him grilling the kids on "why" he hung up. Our oldest (she's just turned 9) told me afterwards that they didn't get to school in time to eat breakfast. That as soon as they put their stuff down in the cafeteria they were dismissed to their teachers.
I told my ex this when he came to pick up the kids for his Wed. overnight visitation. The next morning, when step-monster" was getting the kids ready for school (ex has to be at work by 6:30 or 7 a.m.) she evidently was screaming at the kids not to lie about why they didn't eat breakfast again, that she would find out, etc.
The kids came home from school that day telling me all of this. In the end it finally comes out that this is the whole reason that our oldest cries that she doesn't want to go to Daddy's on Wed. because the step mother always yells at her, screams at the kids, etc. and that this happens every Thurs. morning when their Dad is gone, but she's nice to them when he's around.
I told ex that this is why A***** hasn't wanted to go, etc. He calls me saying that he asked his wife and she says she doesn't yell, that the kids were on time, etc. Basically saying daughter is lying.
His solution is for me, him, my husband & his wife to sit down and talk about this, and let his wife defend herself against our 9 year old, and that we all could decide what to do with "all the lies the children have been telling". I objected, because:
- I didn't want to put myself in a situation where something I say is more than likely going to be used against me in the appeal.
- A child shouldn't be put up against an adult to defend herself
- I feel that no one should make decisions about our children but us!
He thinks I'm being irrational, etc. Was I wrong for not wanting to sit down and talk with him and his wife? I'm not trying to difficult, but honestly I don't know if I could of watched my mouth after all of the things that the kids say about her! I realize children will sometimes make up things, but our 9 year old cries at least two days before having to go with her Dad on Wed., but yet when she goes for the weekend, and she knows he'll be around, she's fine.
Should I bring this up at the appeal? I'm not trying to take his mid-week visits away from him, but even the kids teachers say the kids are tired all day Thursday, my 1st grader is making D's on his spelling tests (which he has on Thursdays - he gets the words on Tuesdays). The mid-week visits have been a nightmare from the get-go!
Any suggestions on how to handle this in court without looking like a total B****?
My ex and I have an appeal scheduled for Jan. 11th (he wants physical custody).
We have spoken at the children's school, in detail about everything from the court's decision, the kids school, the children in general, etc., and this is what he was telling me:
- "I have no problem with you having custody of the kids, but I appealed it because my attorney was crap!"
- "If the GAL saw anything wrong he would of taken the kids from you"
So why the appeal? That question remains to be unanswered...my thought is he wants his child support lowered.
Anyway, in the past few weeks he has requested to keep the kids through Monday morning instead of bringing them home on Sunday evenings. I let him do it one time, but told him I thought it would be in the best interest for the kids if we just followed the court order until the appeal was over with (as suggested from many here).
The one time he did keep them til Monday, his wife took the kids to school. Ex came by after work that afternoon to return the kids clothing, etc from the weekend. I gave him the lunchboxes that the kids had used for that day (they were his).
Evidently he got home and realized that the envelopes that his wife had given the kids that morning with breakfast money in them hadn't been opened. He called wanting to know why the kids didn't eat breakfast that morning.
After a long conversation with him grilling the kids on "why" he hung up. Our oldest (she's just turned 9) told me afterwards that they didn't get to school in time to eat breakfast. That as soon as they put their stuff down in the cafeteria they were dismissed to their teachers.
I told my ex this when he came to pick up the kids for his Wed. overnight visitation. The next morning, when step-monster" was getting the kids ready for school (ex has to be at work by 6:30 or 7 a.m.) she evidently was screaming at the kids not to lie about why they didn't eat breakfast again, that she would find out, etc.
The kids came home from school that day telling me all of this. In the end it finally comes out that this is the whole reason that our oldest cries that she doesn't want to go to Daddy's on Wed. because the step mother always yells at her, screams at the kids, etc. and that this happens every Thurs. morning when their Dad is gone, but she's nice to them when he's around.
I told ex that this is why A***** hasn't wanted to go, etc. He calls me saying that he asked his wife and she says she doesn't yell, that the kids were on time, etc. Basically saying daughter is lying.
His solution is for me, him, my husband & his wife to sit down and talk about this, and let his wife defend herself against our 9 year old, and that we all could decide what to do with "all the lies the children have been telling". I objected, because:
- I didn't want to put myself in a situation where something I say is more than likely going to be used against me in the appeal.
- A child shouldn't be put up against an adult to defend herself
- I feel that no one should make decisions about our children but us!
He thinks I'm being irrational, etc. Was I wrong for not wanting to sit down and talk with him and his wife? I'm not trying to difficult, but honestly I don't know if I could of watched my mouth after all of the things that the kids say about her! I realize children will sometimes make up things, but our 9 year old cries at least two days before having to go with her Dad on Wed., but yet when she goes for the weekend, and she knows he'll be around, she's fine.
Should I bring this up at the appeal? I'm not trying to take his mid-week visits away from him, but even the kids teachers say the kids are tired all day Thursday, my 1st grader is making D's on his spelling tests (which he has on Thursdays - he gets the words on Tuesdays). The mid-week visits have been a nightmare from the get-go!
Any suggestions on how to handle this in court without looking like a total B****?
