Stepmom has cut off co-parenting

[Proserpina]

Goodness gracious me, what is this woman thinking?!

This is probably one of the best examples of an over-stepping BUD I've ever seen. Would even be tempted to "sticky" this to indicate what step-parents shouldn't be doing.

 

[sipa]

and do not respond to anything this hairbrained nutcase has to say. she calls, don't answer. she e-mails, block her address. she shows up, don't answer the door.

i'm a bit of a trouble maker, so i would make a point at saying hello to dad at school functions, sit right in front. not flirty, just hi. then i would make a point at getting out of my car at drop offs to give child a hug goodbye. then again, i have an attitude problem.

OH IS I love the way you think.

I think it is important to do exactly as you said, it is important for the future that OP lay it all out on a personal note as well as a legal note that she will not be pushed into hiding because Step Mom is insecure.

You suggestion can be done with class and dignity...

And Daddo knows exactly how controlling Step is because she is in his ear all the time telling him what he can and can not do I am sure, he is not innocent in this he is allowing it.

 

[swtwilma]

Oh boy this post brings back memories. Find comfort in knowing that it takes time. Finally after 4 LONG years of step mom doing exactly these kinds of things to me and my kids it has gotten much better. Not perfect (and it never will be) but the crazy only comes out every few days vs. every few hours.

Changing parenting time was the key for us. The 50/50 thing is so much stress on a step parent and for some reason they think they need to be the new mamma. Once we changed this I noticed a difference in not only step mom but the kids were much happier too.

If you can calmly talk to dad to let him know what is happening and you feelings and quite frankly the law, maybe you can get somewhere. Have fun dealing with the step monster.

 

[cherylsarah01]

Hi and thank you for your advice. So did you ask for more time with you? The other thing is I am not able to get a hold of him. They have shut his cell phone off that he has had for 5 years and if I call the house she will not let me talk with him and then he gets mad at me for interferring with their life and then accuses me of trying to keep my foot in their door. I have not spoken to him in over a year since they got together. They married after one month of being together. My daughter is not allowed to call me or talk to me when she is at their house. I am not allowed to call or talk to her. I am not perfect but I encourage my daughter to talk to her daddy whenever she wants. She could call him to say good night for all I care. She knows how to use the phone no problem but she said Daddy and Stepmom won't allow her to call me. So you see I can't talk to my daughter let alone speak with my ex. I don't know what to do about this.

 

[truebluemd]

i havnet read the others responses

I hope you havnt let this legal stranger control this situation. If you have all this documented then you need to take this back to court and ask the judge to order she no longer interfere. Hopefully the judge will give her "a-talkin-to" to straighten her out.

Also, has this affected the child? If so, another alternative would be to modify custody, cause shared custody isnt successful without good coparenting.

Third, its obvious stepmom is bothered that you have a good relationship with your ex.

 

[Just Blue]

Posting this here to make sure cheryalsarah sees it. Please do not dig up old thread and post to them. keep your post (if what you are posting is legally relevant to the thread) to thread under a few weeks old.

 

[AkersTile]

I am a StepMom and even I think that she is stepping way over the line. That woman is crazy. As far as changing all of your Emergency Contact Info at school, why couldn't her and Dad just add to it? Have both sets of grandparents or whoever on it. There was no need for her to completely change it. Phone conversation wise, when my husband and I had our phones off for a couple weeks, my stepkids went to MY mother's house and used her phone to call their mom and she had my mom's number so that she could call and talk to the kids at anytime. (This worked for us since my parents live next door). The judge will have a field day with this one. His ex and I don't always (ok never) get along, but she is their mother and therefore needs to be recognized as such. Get down to the courthouse and file a motion to modify or something else to keep her out of the picture until she realizes who makes the decisions here. YOU and DAD.