StepMom is Mother on Medical Records

[MomTryin2Improv]

What is the name of your state? CO

Ok, so this isn't a HUGE deal at this point b/c I already got custody of my daughter, but here's the issue:
I just received my daughter's medical records, and on EVERY PAGE of these records it states that "information provided by mother" or "patient brought in by mother" or something of that nature. My ex insists that "they don't ask who you are when you take a kid to the doctor", which we all know is a blatant lie (and a stupid one at that).

A friend of mine suggested filing these medical records with the court (to show that SM is trying to be my daughter's mother). I'm not sure that's something the courts will have anything to do with, unless we are in the middle of a custody dispute.

Is there something I should do with these papers? Or do I just keep a copy of them to ensure they are available if we ever return to court for the same issue?

It may seem trivial, but I am just trying to keep all of my ducks in a row, in case a need should ever arise.

Thanks.

 

[acmb05]

What is the name of your state? CO

Ok, so this isn't a HUGE deal at this point b/c I already got custody of my daughter, but here's the issue:
I just received my daughter's medical records, and on EVERY PAGE of these records it states that "information provided by mother" or "patient brought in by mother" or something of that nature. My ex insists that "they don't ask who you are when you take a kid to the doctor", which we all know is a blatant lie (and a stupid one at that).

A friend of mine suggested filing these medical records with the court (to show that SM is trying to be my daughter's mother). I'm not sure that's something the courts will have anything to do with, unless we are in the middle of a custody dispute.

Is there something I should do with these papers? Or do I just keep a copy of them to ensure they are available if we ever return to court for the same issue?

It may seem trivial, but I am just trying to keep all of my ducks in a row, in case a need should ever arise.

Thanks.

Not really a lie because even though she may have said "I am the step mom" when she takes the kid to the doctor a lot of doctor offices will just write down mother.

I used to take my ex wifes child to the doctor all the time and no matter how many times I told them I was the step father they always referred to me as the father in thier paperwork.

 

[CJane]

My ex insists that "they don't ask who you are when you take a kid to the doctor", which we all know is a blatant lie (and a stupid one at that).

It's not necessarily a lie. I've NEVER been asked who I am when I take a kid to the doctor. And, on my kids' paperwork, occasionally it says "Brought in by mother" when I know their step-mom took them in, but I also know that when they see a woman with the same last name as the girls, they're going to make that assumption. It only says "step-mother" when the notes are made by their normal physician, because she knows me quite well.

 

[NoDiggety]

What is the name of your state? CO

Ok, so this isn't a HUGE deal at this point b/c I already got custody of my daughter, but here's the issue:
I just received my daughter's medical records, and on EVERY PAGE of these records it states that "information provided by mother" or "patient brought in by mother" or something of that nature. My ex insists that "they don't ask who you are when you take a kid to the doctor", which we all know is a blatant lie (and a stupid one at that).

A friend of mine suggested filing these medical records with the court (to show that SM is trying to be my daughter's mother). I'm not sure that's something the courts will have anything to do with, unless we are in the middle of a custody dispute.

Is there something I should do with these papers? Or do I just keep a copy of them to ensure they are available if we ever return to court for the same issue?

It may seem trivial, but I am just trying to keep all of my ducks in a row, in case a need should ever arise.

Thanks.

This isn't proof of "SM trying to be the mother" as you claim. It's likely that the office is being lazy/stupid and not noting this appropriately. I would write a letter to the office asking them to correct the records to note that the STEPMOM brought them in, etc.

Technically, under Federal law a stepparent is limited to what they can approve and/or be told in medical offices. If the office is releasing info and/or allowing SM to make significant medical decisions without your approval (even if dad is unavailable), that could pose a pretty ugly problem for the office. In that letter, also ask the office to correct all of their records that shows YOU are the mother and your ex is the father and no other name should indicate otherwise. BOTH you and your ex are to be consulted on things, not any stepparent (although it would be OK to list SM as an emergency contact IF either of you are unavailable).

 

[souptonuts]

What is the name of your state? CO

Ok, so this isn't a HUGE deal at this point b/c I already got custody of my daughter, but here's the issue:
I just received my daughter's medical records, and on EVERY PAGE of these records it states that "information provided by mother" or "patient brought in by mother" or something of that nature. My ex insists that "they don't ask who you are when you take a kid to the doctor", which we all know is a blatant lie (and a stupid one at that).

A friend of mine suggested filing these medical records with the court (to show that SM is trying to be my daughter's mother). I'm not sure that's something the courts will have anything to do with, unless we are in the middle of a custody dispute.

Is there something I should do with these papers? Or do I just keep a copy of them to ensure they are available if we ever return to court for the same issue?

It may seem trivial, but I am just trying to keep all of my ducks in a row, in case a need should ever arise.

Thanks.

Sounds like your issues have nothing to do with "papers" but more your issues with the stepmother! I take my stepdaughters to the doctors all the time without anyone asking who I might be... a stepmother is still a "mother" and in your case I would be more appreciative that you have a stepmom who actually takes YOUR kids to the doc. Why could'nt YOU take your own kids to the doctor? Quit your complaining and be grateful that there are others out there looking out for the best interest of YOUR kids.

 

[Ohiogal]

Sounds like your issues have nothing to do with "papers" but more your issues with the stepmother! I take my stepdaughters to the doctors all the time without anyone asking who I might be... a stepmother is still a "mother" and in your case I would be more appreciative that you have a stepmom who actually takes YOUR kids to the doc. Why could'nt YOU take your own kids to the doctor? Quit your complaining and be grateful that there are others out there looking out for the best interest of YOUR kids.

A stepmother is NOT THE MOTHER of the stepchildren. No court would agree with you on that.

 

[NoDiggety]

Sounds like your issues have nothing to do with "papers" but more your issues with the stepmother! I take my stepdaughters to the doctors all the time without anyone asking who I might be... a stepmother is still a "mother" and in your case I would be more appreciative that you have a stepmom who actually takes YOUR kids to the doc. Why could'nt YOU take your own kids to the doctor? Quit your complaining and be grateful that there are others out there looking out for the best interest of YOUR kids.

Hey here's a suggestion Clueless Poster: shut up and look up federal law, Beavis.

 

[souptonuts]

A stepmother is NOT THE MOTHER of the stepchildren. No court would agree with you on that.

I never mentioned the courts... stepmother meaning the woman who picks up where birthmother lacks... in this case taking her kids to the doctors. Who the hell cares if the papers say "mother" when it was the SM who brought the kids in?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I never mentioned the courts... stepmother meaning the woman who picks up where birthmother lacks... in this case taking her kids to the doctors. Who the hell cares if the papers say "mother" when it was the SM who brought the kids in?

HIPPA...go read it then come back and learn. You know, keep mouth shut and ears open.

 

[momofrose]

A tepmother is NOT a mother. While it may be appreciated that she take care of the Mother's children when Mom is not available or not able (by court order) to be with her children, it is still not lgeally correct to present the SM as the Mom.

I can tell you that I have the same issue, BUT it is not enough to take my ex back to court yet. The SM brings my daughter to every dentist and dr. visit (we now have shared custody) and I am not told abut it (if at all) until after the fact by my daughter (now 10). Every piece of paper shows her SM's name as her mother. Also every piece of school work that is signed when my daughter is with her father is signed by her SM, permission slips...you name it.

I just had my lawyer send a letter to my ex advising him that this practice is to cease and desist and the "Stepmother is a legal stranger to (name) and has no legal authority to present herself as (name's) parent or legal guardian".

If it does not stop, my attorney advised me to take him back to court..which I will.

Good Luck

 

[souptonuts]

A tepmother is NOT a mother. While it may be appreciated that she take care of the Mother's children when Mom is not available or not able (by court order) to be with her children, it is still not lgeally correct to present the SM as the Mom.

I can tell you that I have the same issue, BUT it is not enough to take my ex back to court yet. The SM brings my daughter to every dentist and dr. visit (we now have shared custody) and I am not told abut it (if at all) until after the fact by my daughter (now 10). Every piece of paper shows her SM's name as her mother. Also every piece of school work that is signed when my daughter is with her father is signed by her SM, permission slips...you name it.

I just had my lawyer send a letter to my ex advising him that this practice is to cease and desist and the "Stepmother is a legal stranger to (name) and has no legal authority to present herself as (name's) parent or legal guardian".

If it does not stop, my attorney advised me to take him back to court..which I will.

Good Luck

So your taking your ex to court because SM signed her name in the "mother" box? Where do you sign your name if there is no box for SM? If it's such a big deal, why can't you take your daughter yourself? What is the issue here?

 

[stealth2]

If it's such a big deal, why can't you take your daughter yourself? What is the issue here?

Has it occured to you that there is sometimes distance involved during visitation? My ex's wife takes our kids to the doctor when they're with Dad (instead of my taking them) because it's 400 miles away from where I live. And yeah, it's a bit of an issue when I try to get info from the doctor and get a runaround because no one saw fit to inform them that Mom isn't the woman who brought them.

 

[Ohiogal]

So your taking your ex to court because SM signed her name in the "mother" box? Where do you sign your name if there is no box for SM? If it's such a big deal, why can't you take your daughter yourself? What is the issue here?

stepmoms (stepparents in general!) are NOT to be signing these forms at all. The parent or legal guardian is. A stepparent is NOT a legal guardian. A stepparent has NO legal right to secure medical care/treatment for the children. A stepparent is a legal stranger. A stepparent who does not know this is overstepping their bounds and interfering with the parent child relationship (which is a LEGAL relationship by the way).
As for why can't take daughter by herself, she has just stated that she is not informed of the appointments until after the fact. And parents are not supposed to schedule appointments for their children on the other parent's time.
Before you answer here or interject your less than accurate opinions about anything legal, do what BB said. LISTEN AND LEARN.
You have no right in your stepchild's life. YOu are a legal stranger. The issue is stepparents are not to be presenting themselves as the legal guardian/parent of their stepchild. They are not.

 

[Ohiogal]

I never mentioned the courts... stepmother meaning the woman who picks up where birthmother lacks... in this case taking her kids to the doctors. Who the hell cares if the papers say "mother" when it was the SM who brought the kids in?

You may not have mentioned the courts but that is what this is about -- LEGAL advice. Stepmother is not the person who picks up where the birthmother lacks. A stepmother is ONLY the person who married the child's father. Your definition is skewed and improper. Stepparents do not have a legal right to obtain medical treatment for minors that they are not legally responsible for -- and by definition stepparents are LEGAL STRANGERS to the children. Who the hell cares? Those who are safeguarding the rights of parents. Courts, attorneys, judges, the federal government, state governments. Shall I continue?

 

[souptonuts]

Has it occured to you that there is sometimes distance involved during visitation? My ex's wife takes our kids to the doctor when they're with Dad (instead of my taking them) because it's 400 miles away from where I live. And yeah, it's a bit of an issue when I try to get info from the doctor and get a runaround because no one saw fit to inform them that Mom isn't the woman who brought them.

So, these are legal issues? Who and who is not of blood relation when taking kiddo for a checkup? If you live 400 miles away from your kid, does it not make sense to find a doc closer to you and you can start your own file with your own doc? Hmmmm.