Supervised visitation question

[hire21618]

Indiana

my ex has supervised visitation. Normally his mom supervises. He just informed me that he will not be present at pick up exchange for next visit.
Am I required to release the kids to his mom without him, or can I postpone the exchange until he can be present?

 

[Just Blue]

Indiana

my ex has supervised visitation. Normally his mom supervises. He just informed me that he will not be present at pick up exchange for next visit.
Am I required to release the kids to his mom without him, or can I postpone the exchange until he can be present?

What does you court order state regarding exchanges? ...Is there any language indicating that the father must be present or can he have a competent adult pick the child/ren up?
If you could post that section of the order, word for word (sans identifying information), that would be helpful.

 

[adjusterjack]

He just informed me that he will not be present at pick up exchange for next visit.

Does that mean he won't be available for his visitation at all or just that he won't be available for the pick up and his mother will take the kids to him?

That's an important distinction that you need to clear up.

 

[hire21618]

Does that mean he won't be available for his visitation at all or just that he won't be available for the pick up and his mother will take the kids to him?

That's an important distinction that you need to clear up.

just for the exchange. He states he’s working over and might not make it in time

 

[hire21618]

What does you court order state regarding exchanges? ...Is there any language indicating that the father must be present or can he have a competent adult pick the child/ren up?
If you could post that section of the order, word for word (sans identifying information), that would be helpful.

nothing at all in the order about exchanges. Just that he gets supervised visitation per the parenting time guidelines, and if his mom can’t supervise then it goes through a facility and we split the costs

 

[quincy]

just for the exchange. He states he’s working over and might not make it in time

Do you have a problem with this? If so, why?

 

[adjusterjack]

just for the exchange. He states he’s working over and might not make it in time

Then it's a non-issue since he'll still have his supervised visit.

Let it go.

 

[Just Blue]

nothing at all in the order about exchanges. Just that he gets supervised visitation per the parenting time guidelines, and if his mom can’t supervise then it goes through a facility and we split the costs

There no order that he be at the exchange, so his mother may do the pick up. As the others have said...Let it go.

 

[stealth2]

Not sure why it's an issue.I'll concur with the others and suggest you wait for bigger hills to die on.

 

[hire21618]

Do you have a problem with this? If so, why?

I do but it sounds like it's best to let it go.

Thank you all for the advice!

 

[stealth2]

Should grandma not be druving?

 

[hire21618]

Should grandma not be druving?

As far as I know she's okay to drive. We exchange at a halfway point and she is almost always the one driving. I think mainly my issues are the typical bitterness and tension that comes with a divorce and more so with him vs his mom. I only saw his mom maybe 4-5 times over the course of our 5 year relationship. She didn't even meet our oldest until he was 4.5 (he's 5 now), so there wasn't a strong relationship established between her and I nor her and the kids. So really it's just me being uncomfortable but nothing concrete enough at this point to warrant causing issues over.

In all honesty I posted in the heat of the moment after he sent a rather crappy message about said exchange, but I know I need to take my personal feelings out of it. Again appreciate the advice.

 

[stealth2]

Yeah, let it go.

 

[LdiJ]

As far as I know she's okay to drive. We exchange at a halfway point and she is almost always the one driving. I think mainly my issues are the typical bitterness and tension that comes with a divorce and more so with him vs his mom. I only saw his mom maybe 4-5 times over the course of our 5 year relationship. She didn't even meet our oldest until he was 4.5 (he's 5 now), so there wasn't a strong relationship established between her and I nor her and the kids. So really it's just me being uncomfortable but nothing concrete enough at this point to warrant causing issues over.

In all honesty I posted in the heat of the moment after he sent a rather crappy message about said exchange, but I know I need to take my personal feelings out of it. Again appreciate the advice.

I have slightly different advice. If it's an occasional thing then I agree 100% with what the others have said. However, if it starts to be a regular thing, and/or it becomes apparent that dad isn't present at all for visitation, then you might want to re-think things. More so if it appears that dad is not present at all for visitation. You do not want to create a sense of entitlement in Grandma, as that can and often does lead into problems down the road.

As an occasional thing that is the kind of cooperation that the guidelines would expect good co-parents to give each other.

 

[Zigner]

I agree that if dad is not exercising visitation and is handing it off to someone else, then you may wish to address it, however, there is nothing wrong with dad simply making arrangements for someone else to pick kiddo up and watch her for a short amount of time until he gets home from work.