Support Modification but lying

[DoWhat]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland

I am getting ready to go to court in a few weeks with the ex because he is taking me in for a support modification. Should've been a pretty cut and dry easy peasy what is will be ordeal but I have a question about something and I don't know how to proceed.

I have been given copies of the support modification form and his last two years of taxes. I've noticed on the support form he didn't list any child care expenses (which is correct as I'm the only one that pays them even though we have 50/50 custody). However, I'm afraid he's going to pop up in court saying he does pay them because I see he has lied on his 2011 taxes about doing so.

We have two children; I claim the youngest and he claims the oldest to keep it fair. This will be the second year that our oldest has not gone to daycare. But on his 2011 taxes he had deducted a 2100$ deduction for child care for the child. He has listed the daycare center and upon asking the oldest if he is familiar with the location he said yes, that his step brothers go there. He also assured me that he has never been there but to go with them to drop off/pick up. (To answer those questions; my ex although remarried has filed a single return and his only dependent listed is our oldest in question).

So - #1; is this considered tax fraud; and #2 what kind of evidence should I show up prepared with to court just in case he goes ; look - I do pay for daycare for the oldest, I even claimed it last year. Because it is a lie and he pays nothing towards childcare even for our youngest who still attends (a different daycare provider then he is claiming).

Thank you for your time!

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland

I am getting ready to go to court in a few weeks with the ex because he is taking me in for a support modification. Should've been a pretty cut and dry easy peasy what is will be ordeal but I have a question about something and I don't know how to proceed.

I have been given copies of the support modification form and his last two years of taxes. I've noticed on the support form he didn't list any child care expenses (which is correct as I'm the only one that pays them even though we have 50/50 custody). However, I'm afraid he's going to pop up in court saying he does pay them because I see he has lied on his 2011 taxes about doing so.

We have two children; I claim the youngest and he claims the oldest to keep it fair. This will be the second year that our oldest has not gone to daycare. But on his 2011 taxes he had deducted a 2100$ deduction for child care for the child. He has listed the daycare center and upon asking the oldest if he is familiar with the location he said yes, that his step brothers go there. He also assured me that he has never been there but to go with them to drop off/pick up. (To answer those questions; my ex although remarried has filed a single return and his only dependent listed is our oldest in question).

So - #1; is this considered tax fraud; and #2 what kind of evidence should I show up prepared with to court just in case he goes ; look - I do pay for daycare for the oldest, I even claimed it last year. Because it is a lie and he pays nothing towards childcare even for our youngest who still attends (a different daycare provider then he is claiming).

Thank you for your time!

Wow ~ you actually put your child in the middle like that. So not cool.

What dad does on his taxes is none of your business.

 

[DoWhat]

Wow ~ you actually put your child in the middle like that. So not cool.

What dad does on his taxes is none of your business.

No, I asked my now teenager if he knows anything about this daycare center and what its like -and I gave him the excuse of I was looking for a family friend of ours. He has no clue even about the support modification.

I was emailed the taxes by his lawyer because they requested mine and I did the same? Doesn't that make them my business or was I not supposed to look at them?

 

[Antigone*]

No, I asked my now teenager if he knows anything about this daycare center and what its like -and I gave him the excuse of I was looking for a family friend of ours. He has no clue even about the support modification.

I was emailed the taxes by his lawyer because they requested mine and I did the same? Doesn't that make them my business or was I not supposed to look at them?

You are alleging he is guilty of tax fraud. You cannot say that by just looking at this man's return.

 

[DoWhat]

You are alleging he is guilty of tax fraud. You cannot say that by just looking at this man's return.

I am not alleging anything? I am ASKING if it is?

And I'm asking how I can prove that he doesn't pay any childcare to this place when I go to court should he pull out his return and say that its his proof he does?

 

[Antigone*]

I am not alleging anything? I am ASKING if it is?

And I'm asking how I can prove that he doesn't pay any childcare to this place when I go to court should he pull out his return and say that its his proof he does?

Forgive me, I misread your statement. You can ask for the back up cancelled checks and receipts to back up that deduction.

 

[DoWhat]

Forgive me, I misread your statement. You can ask for the back up cancelled checks and receipts to back up that deduction.

Thank ya! Now if they bring cancelled checks written by his wife (since her children do attend there) could those be used as back up for his side as well?

I've debated calling up the center and just asking for a written statement about how they don't have "child's name" in their records; but would/could they even provide me with that? Or am I over thinking this whole thing and just worrying over nothing?

 

[meanyjack]

Thank ya! Now if they bring cancelled checks written by his wife (since her children do attend there) could those be used as back up for his side as well?

I've debated calling up the center and just asking for a written statement about how they don't have "child's name" in their records; but would/could they even provide me with that? Or am I over thinking this whole thing and just worrying over nothing?

Due to privacy laws, they will (most likely) not be able to even tell you who is/is not enrolled there.

What matters is what he documents on the support modification forms!! If he all-of- a-sudden pops up at the hearing and claims he has child care deductions for the child(ren) who are part of this modification (or anything else he didn't note on the mod form), then you ask for proof. OR if both parties are to present evidence within a specified period of time before the hearing OR at the hearing, and he does not, then you argue he failed to provide the required documents in a timely fashion.
Since you know there are step-children involved, the fact that he claimed child care deductions on his taxes is none of your concern/business.

 

[Humusluvr]

Due to privacy laws, they will (most likely) not be able to even tell you who is/is not enrolled there.

What matters is what he documents on the support modification forms!! If he all-of- a-sudden pops up at the hearing and claims he has child care deductions for the child(ren) who are part of this modification (or anything else he didn't note on the mod form), then you ask for proof. OR if both parties are to present evidence within a specified period of time before the hearing OR at the hearing, and he does not, then you argue he failed to provide the required documents in a timely fashion.
Since you know there are step-children involved, the fact that he claimed child care deductions on his taxes is none of your concern/business.

Um, it's her child.

Call the daycare.

"Hi daycare. I am kiddo's mom. I need a detailed receipt of all expenses paid for 2011. Can you drop that in the mail to me, or should I drop by?"

End of story.

 

[DoWhat]

I'm starting to get to the point of cracking stress wise with this whole possible court/modification mess. He pays me next to nothing anyways, so would it be out of the norm if I just tell his lawyer to have my ex keep his $ and that I don't want any of it; on the condition that he puts 50$ a month per kid in their savings accounts instead until they are 18 and that we attend some sort of communication/co parenting counseling?
I can financially provide for the kids on my own, the cs was ordered to force him to contribute something back in the day because he wasn't putting anything towards school clothes, medical , etc. This whole thing has just made me realize that I really don't care anymore. Its not whats important and I'll be glad to provide for them on my own just to avoid the hatred that him having to pay me cs has caused. Just curious if asking for those things are something that can be legally enforced or if I should allow it to go to court?

 

[meanyjack]

He pays me next to nothing anyways, so would it be out of the norm if I just tell his lawyer to have my ex keep his $ and that I don't want any of it; on the condition that he puts 50$ a month per kid in their savings accounts instead until they are 18 and that we attend some sort of communication/co parenting counseling?

You can tell him that, but unless he's court-ordered, he's under no legal obligation to do so and if he doesn't, there's nothing you can do about it.

Just curious if asking for those things are something that can be legally enforced or if I should allow it to go to court?

I'd let it go to court. Child support is determined by calculation, which is determined by statute. Now, you can go to court and, in lieu of support, have it ordered that the ex is to put $___ each week/month into a savings acct. for kiddo. But, then you start getting into technicalities of who has control over it, ramifications if he doesn't, etc. Which, to me, already sounds like a headache. But, perhaps one of the seniors here have experience/knowledge of that.

 

[WittyUserName]

I'm starting to get to the point of cracking stress wise with this whole possible court/modification mess. He pays me next to nothing anyways, so would it be out of the norm if I just tell his lawyer to have my ex keep his $ and that I don't want any of it; on the condition that he puts 50$ a month per kid in their savings accounts instead until they are 18 and that we attend some sort of communication/co parenting counseling?
I can financially provide for the kids on my own, the cs was ordered to force him to contribute something back in the day because he wasn't putting anything towards school clothes, medical , etc. This whole thing has just made me realize that I really don't care anymore. Its not whats important and I'll be glad to provide for them on my own just to avoid the hatred that him having to pay me cs has caused. Just curious if asking for those things are something that can be legally enforced or if I should allow it to go to court?

So if you don't need the money, why is this so stressful? I'm not being smartypants, I just don't see why getting all worked up over what is basically going to be decided by the guideline in your state is a problem.

The savings account thing is a headache. I know parents who have tried this and ended up with years worth of bickering as a result. If I were you, I'd pursue child support - regardless of whether you think you need it now - and then you can choose to put it in a savings account, send the kids to college, whatever. I applaud your efforts to be the bigger person, but I question whether this is magically going to solve all your problems with Dad.

 

[DoWhat]

So if you don't need the money, why is this so stressful? I'm not being smartypants, I just don't see why getting all worked up over what is basically going to be decided by the guideline in your state is a problem.

The savings account thing is a headache. I know parents who have tried this and ended up with years worth of bickering as a result. If I were you, I'd pursue child support - regardless of whether you think you need it now - and then you can choose to put it in a savings account, send the kids to college, whatever. I applaud your efforts to be the bigger person, but I question whether this is magically going to solve all your problems with Dad.

Honestly I was getting stressed because I've never been through any of this. He is fighting everything and I just want to clean my hands of it because I don't like wasting my energy on this stupid crap.

I did think over the savings account thing last night and I agree 100% - I forsee a whole lot of issues that would arise from that. (if its not one thing its another). So I will just ask for a lower amount and do it myself. Maybe by asking for an even lower amount he'll be more willing to attend the co/parent -communication counseling. (Is there even such a thing?) I figure there has to be something out there like that ; right?
I've brought up something like this in the past (the counseling) and was met with HEAVY resistance. He told me "what, do you need a professional to tell you that you're a horrible mom and that you suck at everything??". I know this will need to be an ordered thing to force him to go; but then if he's forced to go-how effective could it even be? UGGH; sorry for rambling, just have to make the call and response today and I'm so torn.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

It sounds like you are borrowing trouble before it even happens. If I understand correctly, he did NOT list child care for the older child. Does he list YOUR child as one of the children getting daycare paid for on his return? I suspect not.

Bring your receipts with you to court, along with your tax return. If he claims child care for the older child, ask for HIS receipts showing that they are for said child. Easy peasy.

 

[WittyUserName]

Honestly I was getting stressed because I've never been through any of this. He is fighting everything and I just want to clean my hands of it because I don't like wasting my energy on this stupid crap.

I did think over the savings account thing last night and I agree 100% - I forsee a whole lot of issues that would arise from that. (if its not one thing its another). So I will just ask for a lower amount and do it myself. Maybe by asking for an even lower amount he'll be more willing to attend the co/parent -communication counseling. (Is there even such a thing?) I figure there has to be something out there like that ; right?
I've brought up something like this in the past (the counseling) and was met with HEAVY resistance. He told me "what, do you need a professional to tell you that you're a horrible mom and that you suck at everything??". I know this will need to be an ordered thing to force him to go; but then if he's forced to go-how effective could it even be? UGGH; sorry for rambling, just have to make the call and response today and I'm so torn.

This is totally non-legal advice, but I'm going to go here anyway. You can't control Dad, who has a long history of being difficult. So why even give him the opportunity to be verbally jerk-like? If you want to settle and get it over with, then great - but don't expect that he's going to turn into a perfectly easy to deal with co-parent. You ex will always remind you why he's your ex. If he was all that great and superawesome, likely you'd still be together.

No, it's not easy. Many of the posters here have to deal with ex's that are really tough to communicate with. But you are asking for what your (joint) children are legally entitled to, by state calculation. There's nothing shameful or wrong about that. Don't let yourself get browbeaten by Dad's verbal tirades.