Support & Visitation questions

[Katie in FL]

Four Questions:

1) At the time of our court agreement, my child's father agreed to provide life insurance. He works "on the side" for a life insurance company & hasn't provided evidence of fulfilling the court order to the same degree as the order provided for. If we go back to court do I have a right to have the life insurance payment paid to me so I can ensure the policy is as it should be although he may be receieving his policy at a discount or for free?

2) At the time of our court agreement, my child's father agreed to maintain vehicle insurance (I made this request in the court papers because I have known him several years - many of which he held no valid insurance, no license, drove vehicles with exchanged license plates) He is unwilling to provide documentation of the insurance at the time of visit unless he is driving in another person's vehicle. Do I have a right to request this documentation?

3) Can my child's father "hold against me" a request to sign over his rights? I have not asked him, but would like to.

4) Does my child's father have a right to have people "spy" on me to try to find things wrong with me as a parent?

 

[Katie in FL]

1 more question - sleep arrangements

Child's father has brought girlfriend with him to visitation 2 times. Both times my 4 yr old child has ended up in the bed w/ the girlfriend there & child told me after the visitation both times. I have told father 4 times and girlfriend 1 time that this is inappropaite and requested that either my son or the girlfriend be removed from bed. They told me they did not agree with my request - and stated that it was wrong for me to assume anything bad would happen. I have warned that if the situation should occur again that I would remove overnight visitation (maintaining waking hour visitation). Do I have this right?

~Katie in Florida

 

[Rochelle]

If the court ordered him to maintain insurance then he must do so. It should have been in the papers that he had to provide proof. You need to send him a certified letter requesting proof and giving him a time limit and let him know that after that you will be hauling him back to court for contempt.

No his girlfriend should not be staying overnight while the child is there. You should have your attorney send him a letter stating that this is morally incorrect behavior in the presence of the child. The judge told us that even though we are married, my husband's child could not sleep with us when she wanted to, (which I didn't want her to anyway because I just think it's a bad habit to get started) because "A child should not be sharing the marital bed." You can have your court agreement modified stating that the father can have no overnight guests of the opposite sex while he is exercising his visitation rights.

 

[buka]

If he was ordered to maintain any type of insurance and he is not doing so, he is contempt and you should file a motion. You can request that he make payments to you rather than maintaing the insurance himself, but that doesn't guarantee you'll get the full amount (I went thru this with medical insurance and only ended up with the NCP being order to pay part of the monthly premium). You're better off trying to get him to maintain the insurance.

Also, a judge probably will agree that it's not good for the child to sleep in the same bed as dad and his girlfriend, but be careful with assuming that your morals are more correct than his -- it can be risky in court. I would approach it from the perspective of wanting the child to sleep in his own bed. That could be put in the order without making it so neither you or your ex are ever able to have an overnight guest of the opposite sex.

And as for question #3, I am also curious and hope that one of the lawyers will reply. Will a judge hold it against the CP if they simply ask the NCP to sign over their rights?

Good luck.