Surgery and Visitation

[shortpeps]

What is the name of your state? NV

My husband and his ex share 50/50 custody of their girls. He has them Mon-thursday. My husband will be having surgery in May. We sent his ex a letter saying we wouldnt be home on that thursday so she could pick the kids up for her visit, but we would be willing to drop them off a day early at her house for her. We dont think she will respond because that is her M.O. She LOVES to play games when she knows its important.

If that is the case, what do we do?? We dont have anyone who could be here on thursday for her to pick the kids up and his surgery is in another city so we will be gone until Saturday, past her scheduled pick up time.

 

[shortpeps]

Btw

We can not reschedule this surgery. It was the only date booked out for months!!!!!

 

[Chelle0511]

We can not reschedule this surgery. It was the only date booked out for months!!!!!

Send her a certified letter right away and a chance to make arrangements. If she does not respond find someone to care for the children in your absence. You should be safe. If she takes you to court, take the certified letter and proof of surgery and she will then look like the a$$!

 

[shortpeps]

No One Can Watch Them!

We absolutely have no one here to care for the kids all day thursday until 6pm. (no relatives here)

Would it be wrong, if she didnt respond to for us to just skip that week and not pick them up that monday??? We dont know what else to do!!!! We both know that it is probably wrong just to say, well tough you have the kids all week then BUT he needs this surgery.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? NV

My husband and his ex share 50/50 custody of their girls. He has them Mon-thursday. My husband will be having surgery in May. We sent his ex a letter saying we wouldnt be home on that thursday so she could pick the kids up for her visit, but we would be willing to drop them off a day early at her house for her. We dont think she will respond because that is her M.O. She LOVES to play games when she knows its important.

If that is the case, what do we do?? We dont have anyone who could be here on thursday for her to pick the kids up and his surgery is in another city so we will be gone until Saturday, past her scheduled pick up time.

This should not be difficult- Don't your children have any friends? Ask one of their friend's parents if they can stay with them that day because Dad is having surgery. Send a certified (return receipt) letter to Mom saying Dad is having surgery and the children will be in the care of a friend at Xphone# and Xaddress. Problem solved.

 

[shortpeps]

Not to be difficult but.....

We have lived in this area for 5 months.....We dont really know anyone that well to say hey, could keep both girls starting Wed. night (when we leave) until Thursday at 6pm AND then get them to school Thurs morn for the oldest - noon for the youngest and then pick them up from school and then have them ready for mom at 6pm. We just havent gotten to know anyone that well yet.

 

[casa]

We have lived in this area for 5 months.....We dont really know anyone that well to say hey, could keep both girls starting Wed. night (when we leave) until Thursday at 6pm AND then get them to school Thurs morn for the oldest - noon for the youngest and then pick them up from school and then have them ready for mom at 6pm. We just havent gotten to know anyone that well yet.

Wow. Lucky kid's friend's parents. LOL It's usually only a matter of weeks before I have my children's friends over at our house!

Well then if you've sent the letter return receipt, the only thing I can think of is transporting the child to the mom the day early- so she doesn't have to change plans that day. With a certified letter and you transporting- What is she going to do? say "Sorry I don't want my children?" I bet she opens the door and lets them in. Ignore any comments she makes and be on your way. I highly doubt she'd take Dad to court for providing for their care while he was in surgery. If she did- I'd like to be a fly on the wall when the judge heard the motion

 

[shortpeps]

And you are right BUT

What if she isnt home??? We could just take the kids with which is fine with us but then we would be infringing on her time........

This women can be such a jerk so we are already expecting her not to answer and to leave us hanging.

We didnt send it out certified (the letter) but we can resend it again being certified.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

Well they must have some friends or moms relatives by moms house. I would try there if not is there anyway that someone you or your husband know and trust could take a day off and get there? There has to be someone somewhere who can help if not then I say you are going to have to drop your husband at the hospital, grt the older child to school get the younger child to school and then pick them up and wait till mom shows at 6PM then drive back to the hospital to be with your hubby.

 

[shortpeps]

No Go

Hospital is 7 hours away........

 

[SMURFEELAW]

What about any one by moms? Friends family? Or sign the kids out of school that day and take them with you if mom complains you can prove that you tried to drop the children off early mom was not there after she received your certified letter stating your intentions and there was no one to watch the kids or get them back and forth to school so you did what you had to and they came with.

 

[shortpeps]

Yeah

Well, one of those things HAS to work right??? Believe me, if there was someone to help watch them, we wouldnt bother with mom.....it isnt worth the hassle.

Its just a shame that she just cant work with us like a normal human ya know. We always work with her because we dont want the kids seeing us behave like children.

So what do you think of my suggestion.....Is it morally wrong to just not pick up the kids that week and just reshow up the following Monday??? Is that the wrong way to handle it if she doesnt answer.......????? BTW, he's never missed a time with them so its not as if he has a history of skipping.

 

[casa]

Well, one of those things HAS to work right??? Believe me, if there was someone to help watch them, we wouldnt bother with mom.....it isnt worth the hassle.

Its just a shame that she just cant work with us like a normal human ya know. We always work with her because we dont want the kids seeing us behave like children.

So what do you think of my suggestion.....Is it morally wrong to just not pick up the kids that week and just reshow up the following Monday??? Is that the wrong way to handle it if she doesnt answer.......????? BTW, he's never missed a time with them so its not as if he has a history of skipping.

It's just a day you are talking about,r ight? Send the certified letter now. If Mom isn't home when you take them, then take them with you and hubby and return them the next day. (State in the letter that due to her failure to respond for the past month about this scheduled surgery- you will show up on X day and if she is not home, you will take them wtih you and return them the next day) It's one day late- but if you have the proof of the ltter (return receipt) then it will be unlikely she will file against you for contempt. If she did, you'd show up with the receipt and copy of the letter- and a judge would be irked she made a big deal out of the Dad having surgery.

If you want to skip Dad's parenting time- I suggest you also follow the same procedure with a certified letter to give her advance warning. However, then you put her in the situation to possibly provide childcare for that time she was not planning on having the children and that gives her wiggle room to file for payment of any costs incurred etc. Sounds like she's the type to do that.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

It's wrong to the children b/c thet won't understand why dad din't come like he is suppose to. I would definately see them for the first part of the week if I were you then try to drop them off early as stated and if you have to you bring them with you, not the most desirable of options but it may be the only one. Good Luck

 

[shortpeps]

One More Question....

and then I will leave it alone.

We didnt send the letter certified but I will resend it today certified.......

Since we have three months until surgery, should we send more than one letter aksing her to respond or let one letter stand as it is and let that be it???

Thanks for all your advice......