Terminating Biological Moms Rights

[justalayman]

He wanted to see that she wasn't going to abandon her daughter again. We feel like all of those requests are very basic adult functions that shouldn't have to be asked of her. She abandoned her daughter for 11 months of her own choice because she would rather party and spend time with her boyfriend and friends. What could 2 more months hurt to ensure that she wasn't going to run off. I'm going to repeat again that she was living in a crack house and doing meth. It is the fathers job to look out for his daughters best interest. She received no visitation rights so he was not violating any court order. The mother agreed to all of the terms you say are unfair when he talked to her about it. She claimed it to be reasonable and promised she would do it. Again I'm going to say that she got a home and did not even ask to see her daughter. Her effort was very minimal. I've read enough laws on this to know that minimal effort can also be considered abandonment. All she had to do was stay in touch and show effort. Instead she did drugs and would fail to message him for weeks tocmomths at a time. There was a time she didn't message him for 2 months despite him messaging her to check in. Why can a father not protect his own daughter? Even if it is from the biological mother?

That really isn't his decision. He placed arbitrary rules on her visitation that a court can't usually impose (not won't but actually can't). A parent does not have to have a job to be entitled to visitation. A parent generally cannot be denied visitation based on child support delinquency. A parent most certainly will not be denied visitation based on their commitment to remain in a particular state (that's a really big no no as in a constitutional rights violation) and having a home can play a part in visitation, there are cases where people that lived in their cars successfully fought for visitation.

 

[justalayman]

The last time she moved to New Mexico she didn't even attempt to call her daughter...

Unless you can see the future, while a concern, until it happens, it hasnt happened.

 

[djnj13]

That really isn't his decision. He placed arbitrary rules on her visitation that a court can't usually impose (not won't but actually can't). A parent does not have to have a job to be entitled to visitation. A parent generally cannot be denied visitation based on child support delinquency. A parent most certainly will not be denied visitation based on their commitment to remain in a particular state (that's a really big no no as in a constitutional rights violation) and having a home can play a part in visitation, there are cases where people that lived in their cars successfully fought for visitation.

It isn't about all of those things... She lived in a crack house and was on drugs. Still is abusing drugs. But she had claimed to change and he wanted to see proof instead of endangering his child. She has not cared for her since she gave birth. The girl hardly knows her mother and not to any fault of the fathers but because the mother simply didn't wish to care for her. For 3 and a half years. So again I ask what is 2 months of proving you aren't a drug addict and going to abandon your child. He told her that if she wants to live in New Mexico they could arrange holidays and summers but she refused and said she was going to take full custody. That didn't work in her favor now did it? This woman is absolutely unreasonable and wants everything on her terms. She does not care for her child like she truly should. You're standing up for her because she is the birth mom but she has never truly been her mom. She abandoned her repeatedly for months on end. It didn't just happen once. And again I will say the mother agreed to everything her requested when he talked to her about it. She said it was reasonable. And later became hostile because that is what drugs do to you. Every person in the bio fathers family and the bio moms family believes I should adopt Ainslee. The mothers own mom believes that I should adopt her. What does that say about the type of mother she has been if her own family believes it should be me instead? What does that say about our situation?

 

[justalayman]

Mom should go to court to have an official visitation schedule set.

But I'm not defending mom for any reason other than it should be only for the most egregious acts should a parent's rights ever be terminated. Especially given your statements show the mother has attempted to see the child, but frustrated by you or the father, I think you are trying to usurp the mothers rights for your own benefit.


You also need to delete the child's name from your post. It is very unusual which makes it pretty easy to identify you and the child. You have shown you are not as concerned about the child's well being as you think you are.

 

[Eekamouse]

It isn't about all of those things... She lived in a crack house and was on drugs. Still is abusing drugs. But she had claimed to change and he wanted to see proof instead of endangering his child. She has not cared for her since she gave birth. The girl hardly knows her mother and not to any fault of the fathers but because the mother simply didn't wish to care for her. For 3 and a half years. So again I ask what is 2 months of proving you aren't a drug addict and going to abandon your child. He told her that if she wants to live in New Mexico they could arrange holidays and summers but she refused and said she was going to take full custody. That didn't work in her favor now did it? This woman is absolutely unreasonable and wants everything on her terms. She does not care for her child like she truly should. You're standing up for her because she is the birth mom but she has never truly been her mom. She abandoned her repeatedly for months on end. It didn't just happen once. And again I will say the mother agreed to everything her requested when he talked to her about it. She said it was reasonable. And later became hostile because that is what drugs do to you. Every person in the bio fathers family and the bio moms family believes I should adopt Ainslee. The mothers own mom believes that I should adopt her. What does that say about the type of mother she has been if her own family believes it should be me instead? What does that say about our situation?

What does it say about you that you would have this child call you Mom when she has a mother and it ain't you? Mom doesn't have to prove anything to you or to your husband to be able to see her daughter. Only the court can put conditions on Mom. NOT you guys. Does Mom have drug arrests on her record? Convictions of any kind on her record? You calling her a drug addict doesn't mean squat. I hope you aren't disparaging her to her child or in front of her child.