It is all just isolated to this one area. He's never in trouble, not at home or at school, he's a straight A student. My son's flat out "he does not care" attitude is only about going to dads. Only time he is in trouble at home, is when he refuses to go to dads or when he starts days leading up to it, faking sick, coming up with excuses. He will say, hey mom, can't we tell dad I have to much homework, can't we tell dad I have an activity.
I don't let him do any of his excuses, I make him go, I make him get out of the car. I punish him when he throws fits, his time at my home is spent being punished if he does not go to dads. I've talked to him until I am blue in the face, I'm so sick of this same issue, but I keep talking, keep punishing, keep doing the right things.
Both of my kids know about court orders, and court, dad has told them. Dad distorts it all though. They both thought that when then turn 12 they get to decide who they live with. Dad told them that, dad told them to pick him, poor him, he has no one, their mom destroyed his family, took them from him. My daughter said mom, by the time I turn 12, I will have lived with you for 12 years, dad has no one, so it's only fair I go live with him. My son, he turned it around, since he can choose to live with dad, then he can choose to live with me, that's his choice and he gets to also choose not to go. Dad would bring this up all the time, force them on the spot to choose, if they would not choose or not answer, they were punished, they were called babies, they don't love dad then, then the poor dad story, how I destroyed his family, took everything from him.
When I told them they don't get to choose until they are 18, I was the liar. My son did a search on it at his friends house, he read my counties entire Friend of the Court Handbook.
I can't begin to explain what they go through, constantly, he badgers them, he bullies them, he makes them pick and choose, he has extreme hatred towards me, my other son, my parents, he's very vocal to our kids about it.
I don't think he feels he is controlling his visits with dad. He knows the next one will be worse, he fears that to, but it's a relief not to go for one visit. I believe he very much feels that dad controls his visits, that dad controls him. Will this eventually have him trying to control things, it very might well. Could he be a monster in the making, he sure could be. I worry what he might next do, to not go to a visit, I worry about everything everyone mentioned in these posts. It's why I am seeking help for him.