Thoughts?

[mommyofmany27]

I went through this last year with my ex, but he didn't tell me he was going to claim the kids on his taxes..not that I would have agreed. When I went to file my return electronically it got kicked back stating that the children had already been claimed. I contacted the IRS and was told to submit a paper return and they would investigate. They alerted my ex that I had also tried to claim the kids and if he had claimed them without realizing he couldn't (but I believe the IRS has seen this so much they know the deal)then he would need to ammend his return. That scared him enough to go back and ammend it without anything further happening. My advice to you would be to attempt to file electronically the second you have everything you need to file. If he beats you to the punch,then you'll have to file a paper return. It'll take longer to get your refund from the IRS if there is a dispute over who can legally claim the EIC, but I think its worth it to show him that he cannot strong arm you into doing something that isn't legal.

Just on a side note:it always gets me going when the NCP thinks they are entitled to financial breaks because they pay CS. When realistically they have no clue how little CS actually covers and how much CP's actually pay to care for the children. Yes,that financial obligation comes along with being the CP but you won't hear me complaining about having to pay for this or that or not getting a tax break when it isn't deserved.

 

[frylover]

I'm worried about the overnights honestly. He says the wife works overnight and goes to her Mom's house while the kiddo is there. He said he would stay at his Gmas house when he gets son for overnight In case he wakes up for a diaper change in the middle of the night. Dad says Grandpa won't talk to him anymore since he can't see the kiddo.

For REAL? He's going to spend the night with his grandmother so SHE can get up with HIS son during the night???

This guy is a real piece of work!

I can't say I'm really that SURPRISED as much as further disgusted by him.

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

Just wanted to thank you all for helping me out once again!

The tax issue isn't my biggest worry at this point. Getting conflicting advice. With my former lawyer and Dad's lawyer saying practically the same exact thing, perhaps they are both aware of the way our specific court would handle it, should it go before the judge...
I will claim the EIC for both daughter and son, and he can have the exemption, child tax, etc for little man.
I hope he doesn't screw up and fraudulently claim kiddo for EIC, but its really out of my hands.

My main concern is Dad threatening court again.
Any ideas on whether the court would entertain this? Its only been about 7 months since our initial case went to court. Back when that was going on, his lawyer told him that my atty and I had come up with the most reasonable of options and he would be silly to pass it up (that's what Dad told me anywho)

He's never had an overnight or had kiddo for more than 8 hours... Now he is threatening week to week. I AM extremely worried about kiddo being there for extended periods, given the events of the last two months or so. Not to mention, what's he gona do with his wife during that week? Can family court force me to drop the RO that I have on wife and grandpa protecting myself and kiddos? Because that's another of his recent threats.

Would he need a significant change of circumstance to get 50/50?

The only thing that has changed since our initial court order is that kiddo has been ill, obviously, and that the kids and I moved into a bigger nicer home.

I just have this feeling of dread. Even with just idle threats I still worry :-(

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

For REAL? He's going to spend the night with his grandmother so SHE can get up with HIS son during the night???

This guy is a real piece of work!

I can't say I'm really that SURPRISED as much as further disgusted by him.

Its one of the things Dad brags about. He's started asking me to potty train so he NEVER has to change him.

 

[ecmst12]

I would think if he can't even show he's willing to change a diaper or administer meds properly, his chances of 50-50 physical custody are in the toilet.

Not to mention the chances that a judge would believe his psycho wife would be willing to move out every other week to obey the restraining order....

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

I went through this last year with my ex, but he didn't tell me he was going to claim the kids on his taxes..not that I would have agreed. When I went to file my return electronically it got kicked back stating that the children had already been claimed. I contacted the IRS and was told to submit a paper return and they would investigate. They alerted my ex that I had also tried to claim the kids and if he had claimed them without realizing he couldn't (but I believe the IRS has seen this so much they know the deal)then he would need to ammend his return. That scared him enough to go back and ammend it without anything further happening. My advice to you would be to attempt to file electronically the second you have everything you need to file. If he beats you to the punch,then you'll have to file a paper return. It'll take longer to get your refund from the IRS if there is a dispute over who can legally claim the EIC, but I think its worth it to show him that he cannot strong arm you into doing something that isn't legal.

Just on a side note:it always gets me going when the NCP thinks they are entitled to financial breaks because they pay CS. When realistically they have no clue how little CS actually covers and how much CP's actually pay to care for the children. Yes,that financial obligation comes along with being the CP but you won't hear me complaining about having to pay for this or that or not getting a tax break when it isn't deserved.

I really don't mind splitting the tax exemptions with him. Of course it doesn't seem fair for 2009 because he only paid 4 months of support totaling less than 1k, but we know life isn't fair. I would love to meet the person that can raise a child for a year on 1k. Kiddos special formula alone was costing about $300/mo.

 

[Isis1]

I really don't mind splitting the tax exemptions with him. Of course it doesn't seem fair for 2009 because he only paid 4 months of support totaling less than 1k, but we know life isn't fair. I would love to meet the person that can raise a child for a year on 1k. Kiddos special formula alone was costing about $300/mo.

good grief dawn. there are some people that are destined to be stupid. and they try VERY hard to comply with their destiny.

 

[gr8rn]

Dawn, I don't believe he would actually try this or that his lawyer would be in agreement to try for something like this. I still believe he is blowing smoke. My ex has a similar personality (histrionic, mysoginistic, and narcissistic--not diagnosed, just my opinion) The focus always must be on him. He is compelled to force you to sit there and worry about what he will do next because that is his vision of the world, that he is the center of the universe, and everyone responds to him, all others' worlds revolve around him. I don't think he would try to get himself into court again so soon after what has happened, and his attorney should discourage him from causing further damage. I think you should not worry, and try not to focus on him even though that is his goal.

 

[LdiJ]

I would think if he can't even show he's willing to change a diaper or administer meds properly, his chances of 50-50 physical custody are in the toilet.

Not to mention the chances that a judge would believe his psycho wife would be willing to move out every other week to obey the restraining order....

I would think that his chances are nil anyway. He hasn't even gotten through the initial phases to get to full standard visitation. I cannot imagine a judge entertaining 50/50 at this stage in the game.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

I went through this last year with my ex, but he didn't tell me he was going to claim the kids on his taxes..not that I would have agreed. When I went to file my return electronically it got kicked back stating that the children had already been claimed. I contacted the IRS and was told to submit a paper return and they would investigate. They alerted my ex that I had also tried to claim the kids and if he had claimed them without realizing he couldn't (but I believe the IRS has seen this so much they know the deal)then he would need to ammend his return. That scared him enough to go back and ammend it without anything further happening. My advice to you would be to attempt to file electronically the second you have everything you need to file. If he beats you to the punch,then you'll have to file a paper return. It'll take longer to get your refund from the IRS if there is a dispute over who can legally claim the EIC, but I think its worth it to show him that he cannot strong arm you into doing something that isn't legal.

Just on a side note:it always gets me going when the NCP thinks they are entitled to financial breaks because they pay CS. When realistically they have no clue how little CS actually covers and how much CP's actually pay to care for the children. Yes,that financial obligation comes along with being the CP but you won't hear me complaining about having to pay for this or that or not getting a tax break when it isn't deserved.

are we talking about the same man, I mean did my ex get to you too?

good grief dawn. there are some people that are destined to be stupid. and they try VERY hard to comply with their destiny.

This should be someone's signature line!

Dawn, I don't believe he would actually try this or that his lawyer would be in agreement to try for something like this. I still believe he is blowing smoke. My ex has a similar personality (histrionic, mysoginistic, and narcissistic--not diagnosed, just my opinion) The focus always must be on him. He is compelled to force you to sit there and worry about what he will do next because that is his vision of the world, that he is the center of the universe, and everyone responds to him, all others' worlds revolve around him. I don't think he would try to get himself into court again so soon after what has happened, and his attorney should discourage him from causing further damage. I think you should not worry, and try not to focus on him even though that is his goal.

and yet again, I have to think that we're talking about my ex here too.... same person (highly unlikely) ?

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

I'm glad we seem to be thinking the same. It makes me feel a little better about things.

He supposedly has this wonderful job coming up that would put him working 8-5 m-f. Why would judge away from a parent who can be with him 24/7 to be placed in daycare or with a babysitter for that 9 hours?

Anyway, have you all ever known of a family court judge being able to make a person drop an RO? Or would a judge be able to overrule it and say his wife and grandpa CAN be around kiddo?

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

Very Interesting...

Hey y'all...

Been a bit since I updated. And I of course have a question.

Little man has been doing very well for the last 6 weeks. He visits his pedi weekly just for her to check for any signs of breathing troubles. He does have some scar tissue on his lungs and his windpipe from our hospital stay, but that is to be expected.

Dad took his first Saturday at 10 through Sunday at 6 visit on Feb 13-14. I thought everything went ok with it. I didn't bug Dad for details because I know I am probably one of his least favorite people at the moment.

I saw a friend in good ol' Walmart today. I was unaware that this friend is also friends with Dad, but she was at his house the night that kiddo stayed. Guess who else was there? The wife. The friend didn't know about the RO until I told her about it today. The conversation started with her asking me how I deal with another girl trying to play mommy to my son. I told her that kiddo knows who his Mama is, and I really didn't worry about it, since she isn't allowed to be around the baby anyway. She got that deer in the headlights look and told me about being at Dad's house that night and wife being there also.

Sooo.. Other than this girl, I don't have proof. I seriously doubt she would testify willingly. She said she spends just about every weekend there, and wife is always there. Sometimes dad is there with kiddo, sometimes not. Kiddo goes back for his next visit this weekend. Friend said she would call if the wife was there also.

Can I do anything? They don't seem to care about the RO. If friend calls me, can I call the police? Would they do ANYthing?

 

[liandrajade]

Hey y'all...

Been a bit since I updated. And I of course have a question.

Little man has been doing very well for the last 6 weeks. He visits his pedi weekly just for her to check for any signs of breathing troubles. He does have some scar tissue on his lungs and his windpipe from our hospital stay, but that is to be expected.

Dad took his first Saturday at 10 through Sunday at 6 visit on Feb 13-14. I thought everything went ok with it. I didn't bug Dad for details because I know I am probably one of his least favorite people at the moment.

I saw a friend in good ol' Walmart today. I was unaware that this friend is also friends with Dad, but she was at his house the night that kiddo stayed. Guess who else was there? The wife. The friend didn't know about the RO until I told her about it today. The conversation started with her asking me how I deal with another girl trying to play mommy to my son. I told her that kiddo knows who his Mama is, and I really didn't worry about it, since she isn't allowed to be around the baby anyway. She got that deer in the headlights look and told me about being at Dad's house that night and wife being there also.

Sooo.. Other than this girl, I don't have proof. I seriously doubt she would testify willingly. She said she spends just about every weekend there, and wife is always there. Sometimes dad is there with kiddo, sometimes not. Kiddo goes back for his next visit this weekend. Friend said she would call if the wife was there also.

Can I do anything? They don't seem to care about the RO. If friend calls me, can I call the police? Would they do ANYthing?

will this person testify against them in court? b/c if they wont you will have a hard time proving anything....

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

will this person testify against them in court? b/c if they wont you will have a hard time proving anything....

I doubt she would.

That's why I was curious about the police. Could I request a well-check while she is there? The police see her, have the RO on file...

 

[LdiJ]

I doubt she would.

That's why I was curious about the police. Could I request a well-check while she is there? The police see her, have the RO on file...

The friend could be subpeonaed to testify and she would have no choice.

You could also call the police, remind them that she is restrained from being around the child at all, and that you were just given word, by someone visiting the household, that she was there with the child.