TPR question, just curious

[mominohio1481]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

Hi there. I have a 6 yo and her father is now deciding to want to see her or TPR. He is all for TPR. I have read many many forums and i have gathered that you cannot TPR unless you have a stepparent to adopt... I am not married and will not be for another year. In Ohio i hear you cannot adopt until you have been married for 6 months. My ex says that somehow his rights can be terminated by not having any "contact for 6 months", which i thought it was longer than that anyways. He has been paying child support. He says he talked to his great lawyer and his lawyer says that if i open an escrow account for his child support payments this will suffice for his no contact. Does anyone know if there is any truth to this? He just wants the payment off of his back. He says if he is unable to give up his rights he will see her for about 2 or so years before he goes to NC to move with his new wife. Also if i do get married he says he will not wait the 6 months to do this. He wants it done now. My only thing is the well fair of my daughter. I could care less if i recieve his payments, just as long as my daughter does not have to suffer emotionally. He has toyed with her emotions before and i have almost sout counseling (if i would have had health insurance at the time) for the distrought it caused her. Sorry this is so long, i just want to make sure of all of my options. Thank you.

 

[janM]

I don't know about the escrow business, but my understanding is that there has to be no contact or support for a year or more (I'm in Ohio too).

Giving up rights (parenting time) does not eliminate his obligation (support) except in a step parent adoption.

When did he see her last, or how often does he see her?

You should get a free or low-cost consult with an attorney to see if he's blowing smoke.

 

[mominohio1481]

The last time he seen her was 2 years ago at the beginning of August. He just recently called me and stated this stuff. So even if he does want to relinquish his rights, he would still have to pay support until the child was adopted? Am i understanding this correctly? If so is there somewhere were i could see it in writing. Sorry it is not that i do not trust you, i have just gotten so much different advice i do not know what to believe. I am just trying to find out the truth and i am sure you know all about that. As for consultation from a lawyer, i am still trying to find out about that. The ones i have called are 300 bucks. I do not have that money at this time. Thanks for the advice though.
mominohio1481

 

[LdiJ]

The last time he seen her was 2 years ago at the beginning of August. He just recently called me and stated this stuff. So even if he does want to relinquish his rights, he would still have to pay support until the child was adopted? Am i understanding this correctly? If so is there somewhere were i could see it in writing. Sorry it is not that i do not trust you, i have just gotten so much different advice i do not know what to believe. I am just trying to find out the truth and i am sure you know all about that. As for consultation from a lawyer, i am still trying to find out about that. The ones i have called are 300 bucks. I do not have that money at this time. Thanks for the advice though.
mominohio1481

I think that there is some confusion here regarding "giving up his rights".

He has basically already given up the right to visitation since he has chosen not to see her in 2 years. That doesn't mean that he can't exercise that right again in the future, but for now he has given it up.

What he wants is to permanent severe both his rights AND his responsibilities.....because he wants out of paying child support. The odds of that happening unless there is a stepparent to adopt are slim. No matter what the laws might say in a particular state, you have to have a judge that is willing to do that without a stepparent adoption. Few judges will. The reason for that is that the state wants two parents legally responsible for children. The state wants to avoid any chance that someday the taxpayers may end up responsible for supporting a child.

Dad is trying to bully you into doing it...by making it clear that he will cause emotional distress to the child if you don't.

Tell dad that you have researched the situation and that as far as you can tell there is no way to do what he wants, even if you were willing to agree.
Tell him that if he doesn't believe you, to go talk to an actual family law attorney in Ohio.

 

[mominohio1481]

So let me get this right... Signing over his rights just means that he has no say in what happens with the child, it does not have anything to do with support? That makes no sense, but hey those are the laws right? He says he has seen an attorney and that his is "THE best" in our area. Well I am glad he has the big bucks to shell it out for this nonsense. I have talked to my family attorney, but he has no background in family law. i basically know more than him. I have tried to get a consult but none are free in my area that i can find. I dunno it just don't make sense. Why would the laws not prevent a child from emotional harm? I mean he basically said oh, "if i don't get my way i will see her for a year or so until i move to north carolina." It is just all so stupid. Can we say emotionally wrong? Is there nothing i can do about this? I am not on welfare or any of that government funded stuff, why can't my daughter just be mine?? I know in the future if i were to need it though it would put the government in the picture. Ugh! what a headache. Thanks for listening, sorry i just had to let go of some steam. Thanks for the advice!