Unborn child--Please read

[heather]

I am 7 and 1/2 months pregnet with me first child. I am due to be married this weekend to a man who is not the babys father. The real father is threatning to take the baby and says he has a lawyer and can get the baby. He is 18 (im 19) imature, and pretty phscyo in my eyes. He has threatened sucide in letters to me, has threatned my life, my fiances life and still thinks he can get the baby. He harress me by phone and letters. I have saved all letters from him but do not know if I should get a lawyer(i cant really afford one) I want him to give up all rights to the baby so that when it is born my husband (to be) can adopt. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

 

[Christine]

Definitly show the letters to a lawyer. Any lawyer. Have it at least documented by someone in the case that the ex does get his own. If he pushes the matter of paternity, the state will issue you some kind of assistance, show it to them. Get this all done before your baby is born. And DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!!!!!!!!!! but his name on the birth certificate or give your baby his last name! You don't have to and don't let him think that you do. YOU DON'T!

 

[lorib]

If he requests a paternity test, his name will go on the birth certificate.

In any case, get yourself a lawyer. I don't know where you live, but you might be able to get legal aid or something (we have that in MA). In any case, this is your life and the life of your baby at stake here.

Please don't wait, this nut sounds dangerous. Get help today. Take your letters to your local police station. File a report and then go to court (you don't need an attorney for this) and get a restraining order on him. Please don't wait. You need some help.

 

[heather]

I have tried to get a restraing order and I have gone to the local police. The court told me that there was nothing they could do untill he actully followed through on a threat. The local police said the same thing but have knowledge of my history with him and atleast know that if something happens I was threatened. I live in Vermont and dont really know the laws about birth certificates and all but if I dont put his name on it and put my fiance's name what could be the consequences?

 

[lorib]

That depends.

To be very honest with you. . .I did that.
My oldest son was born when I was 18 and unmarried. I didn't marry his father, but we will still dated off and on for several years.

I then became pregnant by him again, but I had also started seeing someone else a couple months later. I don't know if he knows that my second son is his or not. In any case, I ended up marrying the other guy (but not before I had the baby), and I put his name on the birth certificate. No repercussions yet, but I'm always petrified of everyone finding out what I've done.

What if my son gets hurt or ill and needs blood or something?

My ex has put me and my oldest son through hell as far as visitation and support go. So my theory is that my second son is much better off. He doesn't have any adjustment or other issues whereas my oldest does.

The father lives in Indiana and we live in Massachusetts. He moved about 3 years ago.

Do I regret what I did? No way!!!! I think our whole family is better off for it.

I know I may have to pay the consequences later on in life, but hopefully by then my son will be able to understand why I did what I did.

 

[princess]

whether you put his name on the certificate or not, if he requests paternity testing he will get the testing. if he proves to be the father, he will be legally obligated to pay support. then if he wants to give the baby up by signing adoption papers, he can. then the new dad is on the hook for the child support.

 

[princess]

oh yes, might be a good idea to get a restraining order against him if he really threatened you.

 

[Jamie]

If you are married when you're baby is born, then your husband is LEGALLY that baby's father(at least thats how it is in MS). Any unwed women having a baby has to have the father there at the hospital to sign papers when the baby is born stating he "claims" that child. BUT if you are married the husbands last name must be given to the baby EVEN if you tell them it isnt his baby.-I went through that in '96. As far as the "psycho" is concern-PLEASE for you and your baby get a restraining order. And if the police there are like the police here, he would actually have to harm you or the baby before you could file harrassment charges against him. HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT!

 

[heather]

Just so everyone is aware, I am married now to the man who is not the baby's father. ALthough we want him to be. If I can get away with it we are putting his name on the birth certificate.