CJane
Senior Member
What is the name of your state? MO
Trial was today. Everything went REALLY well. Couldn't, in fact, have gone better really.
I was on the stand for right at 3 hours and then we broke for lunch. When we returned, the X was on the stand about the same amount of time. No other witnesses were called. SMom did not show up, though she provided a Dr's note stating that she could not appear in court any sooner than 6 weeks from now. We elected to proceed without her present.
X came across as VERY controlling, bitter and whiny. Everything he testified to was about his need to control me. He even testified to the fact that he wants his designation as sole custodian, not because he's concerned about the children, but because he wants to be able to 'hold me accountable' whether the children are in my home or not.
He stated that instead of supervised visits, he'd like the court to order an open door policy. His definition of this would be that while the kids are in my care, he could designate someone of his choosing who could 'stop by' randomly throughout my custodial periods to assure that we were at my home, that the kids were behaving appropriately, that his rules were being followed in my home, and that the house was 'suitably clean'.
The GAL asked him if he could explain how changing the custody to EOW would foster frequent and meaningful contact between the children and me. He said "Well, I don't see the need for that, really." She asked him if he felt that we could communicate effectively in order to co-parent, and he said no, explaining that by saying that I refuse to follow his rules, and he doesn't think that's fair. The GAL said "Isn't it true that part of the reason communication is so difficult is because you've done everything in your power to thwart communication and usurp Jane's role as mother?" He denied it, but not until he'd blustered for awhile.
At one point, the ex yelled at my attorney to 'get back over there' (to the witness stand) so that he could more thoroughly answer a question re: a piece of evidence.
The GAL submitted her photos of my home, indicated that it's a pleasant and safe rural environment, that the kids have toys and books and pets and seem secure and happy here. She was not at all concerned with the distance travelled every day to transport the kids to school, especially once the ex admitted that they spend MORE time on the school bus. She asked if I discussed the children's days with them on the drives, if we share meals (either in the car or at home), if we listened to books or took side trips, if the kids were buckled in safely, etc. She asked if I considered the conversations that we have meaningful and integral to our family life. I said "Yes, of course". She said "It's safe to assume X isn't having those conversations while the kids are on the school bus, correct?"
There was quite a bit of focus on SMom's over-involvement, though since she wasn't there we couldn't go into great detail. I testified to her calling me at work to berate me for letting the kids watch TV she considers inappropriate, the times she's told me that by the time the custody stuff is over with, she'll have more rights to the children than I do, etc. Her deposition was entered into evidence as testimony.
Finally, the GAL gave her recommendation...
The physical time should remain as is. The language should read joint legal/joint physical. X should learn to communicate with me regardless of his personal feelings for me since I'm clearly making an effort to focus on the children's best interests. X should pay child support. We should re-evaluate whether or not it's appropriate for SMom to provide child care, or whether the children should return to licensed after school care.
Judge took everything under advisement and said he'd contact the attornies with his ruling.
SO... questions:
How long, generally, will a judge take to rule? Is there a statutory limit? Is there a rough statistic on how often a judge will appoint a GAL and then rule counter to what they recommend? My attorney indicated that the judge could order something completely different, if the mood struck him - such as awarding me more parenting time (yeah, she's my attorney, so I know she's supposed to say things like that) - but how often does that actually happen? I don't like the X at all, but I don't necessarily want him losing parenting time.
Trial was today. Everything went REALLY well. Couldn't, in fact, have gone better really.
I was on the stand for right at 3 hours and then we broke for lunch. When we returned, the X was on the stand about the same amount of time. No other witnesses were called. SMom did not show up, though she provided a Dr's note stating that she could not appear in court any sooner than 6 weeks from now. We elected to proceed without her present.
X came across as VERY controlling, bitter and whiny. Everything he testified to was about his need to control me. He even testified to the fact that he wants his designation as sole custodian, not because he's concerned about the children, but because he wants to be able to 'hold me accountable' whether the children are in my home or not.
He stated that instead of supervised visits, he'd like the court to order an open door policy. His definition of this would be that while the kids are in my care, he could designate someone of his choosing who could 'stop by' randomly throughout my custodial periods to assure that we were at my home, that the kids were behaving appropriately, that his rules were being followed in my home, and that the house was 'suitably clean'.
The GAL asked him if he could explain how changing the custody to EOW would foster frequent and meaningful contact between the children and me. He said "Well, I don't see the need for that, really." She asked him if he felt that we could communicate effectively in order to co-parent, and he said no, explaining that by saying that I refuse to follow his rules, and he doesn't think that's fair. The GAL said "Isn't it true that part of the reason communication is so difficult is because you've done everything in your power to thwart communication and usurp Jane's role as mother?" He denied it, but not until he'd blustered for awhile.
At one point, the ex yelled at my attorney to 'get back over there' (to the witness stand) so that he could more thoroughly answer a question re: a piece of evidence.
The GAL submitted her photos of my home, indicated that it's a pleasant and safe rural environment, that the kids have toys and books and pets and seem secure and happy here. She was not at all concerned with the distance travelled every day to transport the kids to school, especially once the ex admitted that they spend MORE time on the school bus. She asked if I discussed the children's days with them on the drives, if we share meals (either in the car or at home), if we listened to books or took side trips, if the kids were buckled in safely, etc. She asked if I considered the conversations that we have meaningful and integral to our family life. I said "Yes, of course". She said "It's safe to assume X isn't having those conversations while the kids are on the school bus, correct?"
There was quite a bit of focus on SMom's over-involvement, though since she wasn't there we couldn't go into great detail. I testified to her calling me at work to berate me for letting the kids watch TV she considers inappropriate, the times she's told me that by the time the custody stuff is over with, she'll have more rights to the children than I do, etc. Her deposition was entered into evidence as testimony.
Finally, the GAL gave her recommendation...
The physical time should remain as is. The language should read joint legal/joint physical. X should learn to communicate with me regardless of his personal feelings for me since I'm clearly making an effort to focus on the children's best interests. X should pay child support. We should re-evaluate whether or not it's appropriate for SMom to provide child care, or whether the children should return to licensed after school care.
Judge took everything under advisement and said he'd contact the attornies with his ruling.
SO... questions:
How long, generally, will a judge take to rule? Is there a statutory limit? Is there a rough statistic on how often a judge will appoint a GAL and then rule counter to what they recommend? My attorney indicated that the judge could order something completely different, if the mood struck him - such as awarding me more parenting time (yeah, she's my attorney, so I know she's supposed to say things like that) - but how often does that actually happen? I don't like the X at all, but I don't necessarily want him losing parenting time.
