Update on I'm confused and...

[smcgarry]

What is the name of your state? Texas
Wanted to thank you all for your support and replies to my post.
We went to court today and judge dismissed paternal grandma's counterpetition and motion for temporary joint managing conservatorship! Her attny brought up the fact that she wasn't notified of adoption and the judge said "nothing I can do about that!" Also made mention that he remembered the case and that the paternal grandma's son was a "turkey!"
She asked for more visitation and judge said visitation she has is quite liberal and she better be careful or she might end up with less or NO visitation at all!
However, since she wasn't notified of the adoption she can appeal his decision and take it to higher court and has 6 mos to do so.
For now adoption stands and she only has visitation, no conservatorship at all!
She caught me on the way out and said she would be here this weekend to p/u child and I told her to call me this evening and we would talk about it because child has a stuffy nose and if child is ill I would not be sending her. Paternal grandma never called or emailed.
Don't know if she will file appeal or not, but am hoping for the best for this child who has been through so much already and doesn't need any more upheaval.
Thank you all again for your thoughts and concerns...I was really scared for a bit!
As for the attny who handled the adoption, my currrent attny believes I should file grievance with State Bar and says he would be worried if he were her and did that!
Thank you all again. Will keep in touch!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Texas
Wanted to thank you all for your support and replies to my post.
We went to court today and judge dismissed paternal grandma's counterpetition and motion for temporary joint managing conservatorship! Her attny brought up the fact that she wasn't notified of adoption and the judge said "nothing I can do about that!" Also made mention that he remembered the case and that the paternal grandma's son was a "turkey!"
She asked for more visitation and judge said visitation she has is quite liberal and she better be careful or she might end up with less or NO visitation at all!
However, since she wasn't notified of the adoption she can appeal his decision and take it to higher court and has 6 mos to do so.
For now adoption stands and she only has visitation, no conservatorship at all!
She caught me on the way out and said she would be here this weekend to p/u child and I told her to call me this evening and we would talk about it because child has a stuffy nose and if child is ill I would not be sending her. Paternal grandma never called or emailed.
Don't know if she will file appeal or not, but am hoping for the best for this child who has been through so much already and doesn't need any more upheaval.
Thank you all again for your thoughts and concerns...I was really scared for a bit!
As for the attny who handled the adoption, my currrent attny believes I should file grievance with State Bar and says he would be worried if he were her and did that!
Thank you all again. Will keep in touch!

Appeals are enormously expensive...particularly for the appellant. Unless she has some serious bucks you really don't have to worry about an appeal.

On top of that, since she isn't a parent I don't think its accurate that she has six months to appeal. I think she just has 30 days.

You don't have to worry any longer about her getting any kind of conservatorship. You are the legal parents...

 

[ceara19]

She caught me on the way out and said she would be here this weekend to p/u child and I told her to call me this evening and we would talk about it because child has a stuffy nose and if child is ill I would not be sending her. Paternal grandma never called or emailed.

Does your court order say they are allowed to have the child on this specific weekend? If so, you could be held in contempt for not allowing them to have the child. A stuffy nose is not a good enough reason to deny court ordered visitation, unless she is being hospitalized for it.

 

[casa]

Don't give Gma cause to file against you by denying her court ordered visitation. However, if the court order does not specify days/times...then 'technically' you are not in contempt. Illness such as a cold is no reason to deny visitation. So far the judge just thinks the Dad is a turkey- don't add yourself to his list.

 

[smcgarry]

Thank you all so much.
I think that denying visitation due to child being sick is okay, as long as I offer make up visitation, and I have done that. In fact, she called tonight and said she feels like she's never done anything right in her life and her own 2 kids are an example. She said the youngest one is 18 and needs to GET OUT of the house!
She also said she has raised 2 kids and is raising a 49 year old, too, (I'm assuming she meant her husband) and doesn't want to raise any more!
She said she doesn't have the strenght or energy to fight with me and is too old for all this.
Okay, okay...so call me stupid, but I told her to take it easy on herself and that there is good in EVERYONE. I encouraged and built her up and even offered some Saturday visitation, just no more overnight. I told her instead of 1 weekend a month maybe we could compromise and she could come and get child 2 Saturday's a month.
She seemed very receptive, but I don't know if I trust her or not.
I did tell her that I would like, since this looks like it's going to be a possible lifetime relationship, for us to work on our relationship, and that we might not be able to be friends, but I would like to try.
Now, I know I can be a bit of a PollyAnn sometimes, but will someone please tell me I did the right thing and that all is going to be okay and everyone is going to live happily ever after?!
Thank you all again...I'll be in touch because this forum is not nearly as nasty and mean as it used to be!

 

[casa]

Thank you all so much.
I think that denying visitation due to child being sick is okay, as long as I offer make up visitation, and I have done that. In fact, she called tonight and said she feels like she's never done anything right in her life and her own 2 kids are an example. She said the youngest one is 18 and needs to GET OUT of the house!
She also said she has raised 2 kids and is raising a 49 year old, too, (I'm assuming she meant her husband) and doesn't want to raise any more!
She said she doesn't have the strenght or energy to fight with me and is too old for all this.
Okay, okay...so call me stupid, but I told her to take it easy on herself and that there is good in EVERYONE. I encouraged and built her up and even offered some Saturday visitation, just no more overnight. I told her instead of 1 weekend a month maybe we could compromise and she could come and get child 2 Saturday's a month.
She seemed very receptive, but I don't know if I trust her or not.
I did tell her that I would like, since this looks like it's going to be a possible lifetime relationship, for us to work on our relationship, and that we might not be able to be friends, but I would like to try.
Now, I know I can be a bit of a PollyAnn sometimes, but will someone please tell me I did the right thing and that all is going to be okay and everyone is going to live happily ever after?!
Thank you all again...I'll be in touch because this forum is not nearly as nasty and mean as it used to be!

Legally you know your obligations...but morally, I'd say you are right on target

Tensions are high in situations like this~ but it calms over time. Remember that any decision you make is very lasting. Give Gma the chance & then be proactive, and pay extra attention to how it goes.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you all so much.
I think that denying visitation due to child being sick is okay, as long as I offer make up visitation, and I have done that. In fact, she called tonight and said she feels like she's never done anything right in her life and her own 2 kids are an example. She said the youngest one is 18 and needs to GET OUT of the house!
She also said she has raised 2 kids and is raising a 49 year old, too, (I'm assuming she meant her husband) and doesn't want to raise any more!
She said she doesn't have the strenght or energy to fight with me and is too old for all this.
Okay, okay...so call me stupid, but I told her to take it easy on herself and that there is good in EVERYONE. I encouraged and built her up and even offered some Saturday visitation, just no more overnight. I told her instead of 1 weekend a month maybe we could compromise and she could come and get child 2 Saturday's a month.
She seemed very receptive, but I don't know if I trust her or not.
I did tell her that I would like, since this looks like it's going to be a possible lifetime relationship, for us to work on our relationship, and that we might not be able to be friends, but I would like to try.
Now, I know I can be a bit of a PollyAnn sometimes, but will someone please tell me I did the right thing and that all is going to be okay and everyone is going to live happily ever after?!
Thank you all again...I'll be in touch because this forum is not nearly as nasty and mean as it used to be!

If you end up being friends, or at least close to that, it would be a very positive thing for all of you. However, as far as "extras" are concerned, I would recommend being looser than that.

Most grandparents don't see their grandkids on any kind of set schedule. Therefore no one's feelings get hurt when there is change...and there is always change.

I don't know how old your child is....but giving her Saturdays as a "schedule" will cause problems when your child is old enough to have activities etc., that will conflict with that.