penelope10
Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX
If any one has been in this situation and has any suggestions, or feedback it would be greatly appreciated.
I had posted several weeks ago in regards to some problems that Lil Bit was having. Her Dad had taken her to an Add specialist without my knowledge. I had called her pediatrician who stated that she did not recommend that particular doctor and she did not feel that Lil Bit had Add. OZ, myself, and Lil Bit met with the Pedi and were recommended to another practice. At that practice I found a counselor that specializes in teenagers. OZ, Lil Bit, and I went to our first session yesterday. The counselor is going to have tests run for Add just to be on the safe side, although she does not feel that Lil Bit has Add. She seems to think that Lil Bit's old school schedule was a bit much for her, which caused Lil Bit to feel overwhelmed and to shut down and not do well.
For this semester, Lil Bit has changed her school schedule. Her school counselor had stated that she had picked a really tough schedule for some one entering her first year of Senior High. (Senior High here is 11 and 12th grade.) She had picked zero hour, which means coming into school one hour early, and had picked 3 AP courses. She is now taking honors English rather than AP and has dropped 5th year French. Thus far, her grades in school are now excellent.
Lil Bit listed as the reason why she thought she needed counseling was problems with her Dad. After explaining the situation, Dad stated, "Well I used to spend a lot of time with Lil Bit, but now that I am remarried I feel that I need to spend that time with my wife." (He now just takes Lil Bit to lunch or dinner about 3 times a week as his wife told Lil Bit that she is not welcome in their home). Lil Bit has never had the key or passcode to their house. The wife gave numerous excuses over the years. Oz told me that his wife is extremely paranoid. The latest excuse is that Lil Bit will give me the key and passcode and that I will break into their home. (I don't even talk to this person and have never made threats, or given any indication that I would do such a thing) Heck, I don't even know exactly where their house is, I have the address, but have never gone by or seen the house. He did not relay this information to the counselor.
The counselor told OZ that when one marries someone with children the new spouse needs to understand that it's basically a package deal. That you are marrying someone who has children and that has to be accepted by the new spouse. The counselor has requested that OZ ask his wife that they both meet with her and Lil Bit. And that she would like to meet with the wife and Lil Bit alone as well.
OZ has already told me that his wife does not believe in counseling and that he has tried to get her to go to marriage counseling with him which she has refused to do. So I don't know if she is willing to do this or not.
When the counselor asked Lil Bit what she wanted, she teared up and said she wanted to reach some kind of resolution with her Dad, whatever the outcome ended up being. The counselor told OZ that obviously the way the relationship stands now that Lil Bit is in a lot of pain. And that he only has about a year and a half to try to rebuild a stronger relationship with her before she goes off to college. Once she goes off to College she will basically be grown and gone and it will become harder for him to build a strong relationship with her.
As I stated any suggestions would be greatly appreciated if you feel that I can do anything else.
If any one has been in this situation and has any suggestions, or feedback it would be greatly appreciated.
I had posted several weeks ago in regards to some problems that Lil Bit was having. Her Dad had taken her to an Add specialist without my knowledge. I had called her pediatrician who stated that she did not recommend that particular doctor and she did not feel that Lil Bit had Add. OZ, myself, and Lil Bit met with the Pedi and were recommended to another practice. At that practice I found a counselor that specializes in teenagers. OZ, Lil Bit, and I went to our first session yesterday. The counselor is going to have tests run for Add just to be on the safe side, although she does not feel that Lil Bit has Add. She seems to think that Lil Bit's old school schedule was a bit much for her, which caused Lil Bit to feel overwhelmed and to shut down and not do well.
For this semester, Lil Bit has changed her school schedule. Her school counselor had stated that she had picked a really tough schedule for some one entering her first year of Senior High. (Senior High here is 11 and 12th grade.) She had picked zero hour, which means coming into school one hour early, and had picked 3 AP courses. She is now taking honors English rather than AP and has dropped 5th year French. Thus far, her grades in school are now excellent.
Lil Bit listed as the reason why she thought she needed counseling was problems with her Dad. After explaining the situation, Dad stated, "Well I used to spend a lot of time with Lil Bit, but now that I am remarried I feel that I need to spend that time with my wife." (He now just takes Lil Bit to lunch or dinner about 3 times a week as his wife told Lil Bit that she is not welcome in their home). Lil Bit has never had the key or passcode to their house. The wife gave numerous excuses over the years. Oz told me that his wife is extremely paranoid. The latest excuse is that Lil Bit will give me the key and passcode and that I will break into their home. (I don't even talk to this person and have never made threats, or given any indication that I would do such a thing) Heck, I don't even know exactly where their house is, I have the address, but have never gone by or seen the house. He did not relay this information to the counselor.
The counselor told OZ that when one marries someone with children the new spouse needs to understand that it's basically a package deal. That you are marrying someone who has children and that has to be accepted by the new spouse. The counselor has requested that OZ ask his wife that they both meet with her and Lil Bit. And that she would like to meet with the wife and Lil Bit alone as well.
OZ has already told me that his wife does not believe in counseling and that he has tried to get her to go to marriage counseling with him which she has refused to do. So I don't know if she is willing to do this or not.
When the counselor asked Lil Bit what she wanted, she teared up and said she wanted to reach some kind of resolution with her Dad, whatever the outcome ended up being. The counselor told OZ that obviously the way the relationship stands now that Lil Bit is in a lot of pain. And that he only has about a year and a half to try to rebuild a stronger relationship with her before she goes off to college. Once she goes off to College she will basically be grown and gone and it will become harder for him to build a strong relationship with her.
As I stated any suggestions would be greatly appreciated if you feel that I can do anything else.
