Update on my 50/50 question

[lillithsmith]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

We went to court today for the custody hearing. Just to refresh yins minds, I had asked a question on here a few weeks ago about my childs father getting 50/50 and what the chances would be.

The Judge did order 50/50 with 1 week on 1 week off schedule. We had to go in front of the Judge because I was fighting against it with the Mediator. We couldnt agree because he kept pushing for 50/50 and I wanted more of a 70/30.

I asked about the breastfeeding when the Judge ordered 50/50 and he said that I could either pump my breastmilk for my ex to have or allow my ex to supplement with formula.

The Judge also stated that we have to meet halfway on Friday evenings at 7pm every week for the switch off and we are both responsilbe for our own travel. He also stated that childsupport should be ended on my ex's side since we will both have our child the same amount of time.

I get mothers day, he gets fathers day. I get half of birthday, he gets other half of the day for birthday. I get christmas day on odd years and he gets it on even years. and vise versa for thanksgiving and christmas eve.

This sucks but I guess I have to suck it up. Thanks to everyone who helped out by answering my questions. Just thought I would post an update to what happened.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

We went to court today for the custody hearing. Just to refresh yins minds, I had asked a question on here a few weeks ago about my childs father getting 50/50 and what the chances would be.

The Judge did order 50/50 with 1 week on 1 week off schedule. We had to go in front of the Judge because I was fighting against it with the Mediator. We couldnt agree because he kept pushing for 50/50 and I wanted more of a 70/30.

I asked about the breastfeeding when the Judge ordered 50/50 and he said that I could either pump my breastmilk for my ex to have or allow my ex to supplement with formula.

The Judge also stated that we have to meet halfway on Friday evenings at 7pm every week for the switch off and we are both responsilbe for our own travel. He also stated that childsupport should be ended on my ex's side since we will both have our child the same amount of time.

I get mothers day, he gets fathers day. I get half of birthday, he gets other half of the day for birthday. I get christmas day on odd years and he gets it on even years. and vise versa for thanksgiving and christmas eve.

This sucks but I guess I have to suck it up. Thanks to everyone who helped out by answering my questions. Just thought I would post an update to what happened.

I am absolutely astonished - if this is actually true.

(I'm also expecting jekyl to pop back up and respond, but that's another thing entirely ).

Did you eventually AGREE, or did the Judge order this against your wishes? It's not quite clear.

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

We went to court today for the custody hearing. Just to refresh yins minds, I had asked a question on here a few weeks ago about my childs father getting 50/50 and what the chances would be.

The Judge did order 50/50 with 1 week on 1 week off schedule. We had to go in front of the Judge because I was fighting against it with the Mediator. We couldnt agree because he kept pushing for 50/50 and I wanted more of a 70/30.

I asked about the breastfeeding when the Judge ordered 50/50 and he said that I could either pump my breastmilk for my ex to have or allow my ex to supplement with formula.

The Judge also stated that we have to meet halfway on Friday evenings at 7pm every week for the switch off and we are both responsilbe for our own travel. He also stated that childsupport should be ended on my ex's side since we will both have our child the same amount of time.

I get mothers day, he gets fathers day. I get half of birthday, he gets other half of the day for birthday. I get christmas day on odd years and he gets it on even years. and vise versa for thanksgiving and christmas eve.

This sucks but I guess I have to suck it up. Thanks to everyone who helped out by answering my questions. Just thought I would post an update to what happened.

Remind me: How old is child?
How far apart are you from Dad?

 

[WittyUserName]

Remind me: How old is child?
How far apart are you from Dad?

Per the other thread:

Child is 7 months.
Mom and Dad are 3 hours apart.
And Mom was not breastfeeding as of 1/17. I didn't realize mammary glands were like spigots you could turn on and off. Apparently the sprinkler system works now.

I'm throwing the BS flag....

 

[Proserpina]

Per the other thread:

Child is 7 months.
Mom and Dad are 3 hours apart.
And Mom was not breastfeeding as of 1/17. I didn't realize mammary glands were like spigots you could turn on and off. Apparently the sprinkler system works now.

I'm throwing the BS flag....

I'm headed that way myself...

 

[teflon_jones]

50/50
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

My daughter is 6 months old, her father is wanting 50/50 custody arrangment. is it possible for him to get this? I do not breast feed, she is on formula. He is not a bad father (just was not a great husband). I was hoping at the age she is that he would not receive 50/50 yet. How possible is this? Please anyone

This is what she said in the other thread. Sounds like somebody tried to use a lie to impact the ruling.

As a dad with 50/50 custody this makes me shake my head. Kids need two parents. Let them spend time with both of you. And your ex isn't your personal piggy bank. He has the kids equal amounts so you split costs. Simple.

 

[CSO286]

Per the other thread:

Child is 7 months.
Mom and Dad are 3 hours apart.
And Mom was not breastfeeding as of 1/17. I didn't realize mammary glands were like spigots you could turn on and off. Apparently the sprinkler system works now. I'm throwing the BS flag....

Right there with you....I nursed Small exclusively for 15 months. Once she stopped, it was done. They don't turn back on again....

 

[lillithsmith]

yes I did try to tell the Judge that I was breastfeeding. I had went through the pumping process lately to (as the lactation nurse called it) make my body start to produce more breastmilk so I could try to breastfeed. (I was not producing much milk when I had my child that is why I was using formula) My daughter has a digestive issue and her doctor thought if I tried to produce more milk from the breast that she might digest it easier. This is nothing new. People who have never even had a child can (through medical intervention) "active" their breast to produce milk.

To: Teflon_Jones, I do not mind that we have to share costs. That is not my issue at all. I was just wanting to give an update to what happened to me with 50/50 for others to see it is possible.

To: Prosperina, no I was against the 50/50. I was asking for 70/30. The judge felt that 50/50 would be good for our daughter until she reaches school age. My ex and I are discussing moving closer to each other though so neither of us have to make such far drives weekly.

 

[WittyUserName]

yes I did try to tell the Judge that I was breastfeeding. I had went through the pumping process lately to (as the lactation nurse called it) make my body start to produce more breastmilk so I could try to breastfeed. (I was not producing much milk when I had my child that is why I was using formula) My daughter has a digestive issue and her doctor thought if I tried to produce more milk from the breast that she might digest it easier. This is nothing new. People who have never even had a child can (through medical intervention) "active" their breast to produce milk.

To: Teflon_Jones, I do not mind that we have to share costs. That is not my issue at all. I was just wanting to give an update to what happened to me with 50/50 for others to see it is possible.

To: Prosperina, no I was against the 50/50. I was asking for 70/30. The judge felt that 50/50 would be good for our daughter until she reaches school age. My ex and I are discussing moving closer to each other though so neither of us have to make such far drives weekly.

Thanks for your update.
I still think you are a troll.
Say hi to Jekyll.

 

[LdiJ]

yes I did try to tell the Judge that I was breastfeeding. I had went through the pumping process lately to (as the lactation nurse called it) make my body start to produce more breastmilk so I could try to breastfeed. (I was not producing much milk when I had my child that is why I was using formula) My daughter has a digestive issue and her doctor thought if I tried to produce more milk from the breast that she might digest it easier. This is nothing new. People who have never even had a child can (through medical intervention) "active" their breast to produce milk.

To: Teflon_Jones, I do not mind that we have to share costs. That is not my issue at all. I was just wanting to give an update to what happened to me with 50/50 for others to see it is possible.

To: Prosperina, no I was against the 50/50. I was asking for 70/30. The judge felt that 50/50 would be good for our daughter until she reaches school age. My ex and I are discussing moving closer to each other though so neither of us have to make such far drives weekly.

I am honestly surprised at this order. I think its a horrible order for an infant and I think that both you AND dad will regret it in fairly short order. That baby is going to have to change primary caregivers every week with no contact with the other parent for that week.

The two of you were married. Who created the 3 hour distance? I really hope that you and dad plan to eventually live in the same community so that the child doesn't have to continue to go through this, and so that the child doesn't have to go through another major upheaval when its time to start school.

 

[gr8rn]

I am equally surprised. This is PA (yeah, the "yins" clued me in) I know of no one in PA with 50-50 custody of such a young child. But hopefully the two of you will be able to coparent effectively and make it work.

 

[ecmst12]

Yeah at least we know what part of PA this chick is in.

Perhaps, OP, you would be willing to post what court this occurred in, the name of the judge presiding, or the case number, so that your information could be verified?

 

[Proserpina]

Yeah at least we know what part of PA this chick is in.

Perhaps, OP, you would be willing to post what court this occurred in, the name of the judge presiding, or the case number, so that your information could be verified?

Apparently the part that didn't win the SuperBowl.

Sigh.

 

[lillithsmith]

Yes, I apologize for the use of yins. It is habit. This was Blair County Courthouse. The Judge was Judge Carpenter. He is an older Gentleman. I would probally say 60ish. I am sorry but I do not feel comfortable giving the case number out.

To: LDIj: We both did in away. He moved 2 hours away then I moved 1 hour away the opposite direction. I was 100% against this. That is why we had to go in front of the Judge because I would not agree to 50/50 in Mediation. I felt that I had a great chance at atleast making it 70/30. Maybe even 60/40 if I had to. I brought the concerns I had up to my Ex and he agreed that with this custody order the best interest of our daughter was for us to try to move closer to each other. Put the distance between us at maybe 30 miles away so she would not have to bounce to different doctors or hospitals especially with her digestion issues. Now that he has gained the 50/50 he wanted instead of throwing a fit over it I am just going to try to co-parent as best as possible.

We also both have to attend a co-parenting class together. We can not do it seperate. Judge said this could be done in either of our counties as long as we do it together.

 

[InfantCustody]

Yes, I apologize for the use of yins. It is habit. This was Blair County Courthouse. The Judge was Judge Carpenter. He is an older Gentleman. I would probally say 60ish. I am sorry but I do not feel comfortable giving the case number out.

To: LDIj: We both did in away. He moved 2 hours away then I moved 1 hour away the opposite direction. I was 100% against this. That is why we had to go in front of the Judge because I would not agree to 50/50 in Mediation. I felt that I had a great chance at atleast making it 70/30. Maybe even 60/40 if I had to. I brought the concerns I had up to my Ex and he agreed that with this custody order the best interest of our daughter was for us to try to move closer to each other. Put the distance between us at maybe 30 miles away so she would not have to bounce to different doctors or hospitals especially with her digestion issues. Now that he has gained the 50/50 he wanted instead of throwing a fit over it I am just going to try to co-parent as best as possible.

We also both have to attend a co-parenting class together. We can not do it seperate. Judge said this could be done in either of our counties as long as we do it together.

I am sure a senior member with more knowledge of the courts will be working to verify this order...

You can't turn breastmilk back on... My Bean has been eating more jar food so is nursing less and my milk supply is dropping. The only way I can build it back up (with a baby who IS BREASTFED) is to take lactation stimulating prescription and herbal medications and even that doesn't really work too well. Once you drop it down, it is almost impossible to get it back. And I'm sorry, but why would you lie in court and say you breastfeed your baby? I guess the judge saw through that....

"Assuming" it is a real court order (and that is an assumption), I would work on moving towards Dad or getting Dad to move towards you, and quickly. It will keep more consistency in the child's life, and once you get to school age it will allow the same arrangement to stay in place so the child doesn't lose the relationship with one parent, and no one risks becoming the NCP. Also, once you are closer, I would talk to Dad about switching to a 2/2/3 schedule or a 3/4/4/3. It would certainly be a more appropriate schedule for an infant, and perhaps go back to the 7/7 when the child is older.

If it is real, while I have heard it happen in rare cases, I would still be shocked. I was in court just last week with a close to mirror situation and Dad got 1.5 days for now, 2 days/wk as of 6 months.

Regardless, I would recommend you learn to co-parent with Dad or your child is the one who will suffer the consequences.