Update on my 50/50 question

[Mom_of_Two]

I am sure a senior member with more knowledge of the courts will be working to verify this order...

You can't turn breastmilk back on... My Bean has been eating more jar food so is nursing less and my milk supply is dropping. The only way I can build it back up (with a baby who IS BREASTFED) is to take lactation stimulating prescription and herbal medications and even that doesn't really work too well. Once you drop it down, it is almost impossible to get it back. And I'm sorry, but why would you lie in court and say you breastfeed your baby? I guess the judge saw through that....

"Assuming" it is a real court order (and that is an assumption), I would work on moving towards Dad or getting Dad to move towards you, and quickly. It will keep more consistency in the child's life, and once you get to school age it will allow the same arrangement to stay in place so the child doesn't lose the relationship with one parent, and no one risks becoming the NCP. Also, once you are closer, I would talk to Dad about switching to a 2/2/3 schedule or a 3/4/4/3. It would certainly be a more appropriate schedule for an infant, and perhaps go back to the 7/7 when the child is older.

If it is real, while I have heard it happen in rare cases, I would still be shocked. I was in court just last week with a close to mirror situation and Dad got 1.5 days for now, 2 days/wk as of 6 months.

Regardless, I would recommend you learn to co-parent with Dad or your child is the one who will suffer the consequences.

Actually, you can re-establish breastfeeding. It is hard, and time consuming, but it can be done. Many mothers that have adopted go this route. Here's a link describing it.

Factsheet: Breastfeeding Your Adopted Baby - adoptive breastfeeding -

I can definitely see a lactation specialist working with mom to help produce milk, especially if the baby is having digestive problems.

 

[gr8rn]

Apparently the part that didn't win the SuperBowl.

Sigh.

I'm still grieving

 

[Proserpina]

I'm still grieving

Sniffle.

Me too.

I will take it upon myself to comfort Mr Polamalu and Mr Tomlin. Should they need it.

 

[ecmst12]

You can stimulate breast milk production through persistent pumping. I don't think it always works but it can.

 

[InfantCustody]

You can stimulate breast milk production through persistent pumping. I don't think it always works but it can.

I burned out the motor of two breastpumps trying...

Now I switch to prescription drugs!!

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

a Medela double pump is quite effective. I used one continuously for a year (worked 40 hours).

 

[CJane]

a Medela double pump is quite effective. I used one continuously for a year (worked 40 hours).

With #1, I could have fed a 3rd world country with no effort at all. With #2, I maybe would have needed to only feed a couple of villages. With #3, I nursed exclusively, and was DONE at 6 weeks.

We're all different each time, I suppose.

However, I don't believe for ONE minute that on 1/17, when OP was posting about her "concerns" the first time, she never mentioned attempting to reestablish a milk supply due to the child's health issues. However, in court not even 2 weeks later, she has already successfully reestablished a milk supply and the child has health issues that were never mentioned previously?

Just. Not. Buying. It.

I'm thinking that the judge assumed she was using breast feeding as an excuse not to do 50/50, but had no basis for any of it. She was willing to agree to 60/40 and the judge saw THAT as an effort to keep receiving as much child support as possible, and made the order.

I still find it SUPER hard to believer, but if it really DID happen, it's due in large part to the lack of credibility on OP's part.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Oh I agree. There is NO way that you are fully supplied in two week period. Ain't happening.

 

[stealth2]

On 1/17/2011, she specifically stated:

I do not breast feed, she is on formula.

So, yeah, seems like she tried to pull a fast one. Tangled webs, and all that.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

We went to court today for the custody hearing. Just to refresh yins minds, I had asked a question on here a few weeks ago about my childs father getting 50/50 and what the chances would be.

The Judge did order 50/50 with 1 week on 1 week off schedule. We had to go in front of the Judge because I was fighting against it with the Mediator. We couldnt agree because he kept pushing for 50/50 and I wanted more of a 70/30.

I asked about the breastfeeding when the Judge ordered 50/50 and he said that I could either pump my breastmilk for my ex to have or allow my ex to supplement with formula.

The Judge also stated that we have to meet halfway on Friday evenings at 7pm every week for the switch off and we are both responsilbe for our own travel. He also stated that childsupport should be ended on my ex's side since we will both have our child the same amount of time.

I get mothers day, he gets fathers day. I get half of birthday, he gets other half of the day for birthday. I get christmas day on odd years and he gets it on even years. and vise versa for thanksgiving and christmas eve.

This sucks but I guess I have to suck it up. Thanks to everyone who helped out by answering my questions. Just thought I would post an update to what happened.

Considering you tried to sway things by lying it does not surprise me. The child was doing fine on formula and you bring up breastfeeding in the hopes of limiting dad. Got it. And apparently so did the judge.

 

[lillithsmith]

No I did not lie to Judge or try to sway him. I told him what was going on with our daughters digestive issues and that I was trying to produce breastmilk for her benefit along with her pediatricians letter to the Judge. from the start I have said "try" and "tried" and "trying". I have not stated once that it has been successful yet since I just started doing it. Atleast still not enough to fully feed her breastmilk and get rid of the formula. That is not why the Judge gave 50/50. He stated that in these days and times that both parents have a right to spend the equal amount of time with the child(ren).

The reason I did not state my daughters issues in my last thread was because it was not part of the legal question I was asking. Nor at that time did I know (until the following week when she saw her pediatrician) that breastmilk might help with her digestive issues.

Some of yins are trying to twist things around to benefit being rude to me. I just want other people to know that apparently 50/50 is possible.

My ex and I will work together at the best of our ability to make this stable for our daughter. The only thing he has stated was that during his week I will not get to see her unless his "babysitter" is not available.

Thanks to yins who responded back nicely. I appreciate it. We are trying to co-parent and be friendly to each other for our daughters sake. It looks like in some states and with some Judges 50/50 is not a bad thing. Just remember if yins child has to do 50/50, do whatever yins can to make it as less dramatic as possible.

 

[stealth2]

The reason I did not state my daughters issues in my last thread was because it was not part of the legal question I was asking. Nor at that time did I know (until the following week when she saw her pediatrician) that breastmilk might help with her digestive issues.

Yet you saw it fit to specifically state that you do NOT breastfeed and she IS on formula. Right.

 

[mistoffolees]

Some of yins are trying to twist things around to benefit being rude to me. I just want other people to know that apparently 50/50 is possible.

Just don't be misleading people into thinking that it's likely.

EVEN IF your story is true and EVEN IF you didn't mislead the court (neither one of which premises I would concede), your situation is extremely unusual. For a court to order 50/50 over the objections of one parent, with a very young child, and with several hours distance between them is not something that anyone should count on.

 

[LdiJ]

Just don't be misleading people into thinking that it's likely.

EVEN IF your story is true and EVEN IF you didn't mislead the court (neither one of which premises I would concede), your situation is extremely unusual. For a court to order 50/50 over the objections of one parent, with a very young child, and with several hours distance between them is not something that anyone should count on.

I agree, its such a horrible schedule for an infant. The judge made that decision based on the best interests of the parents, not on the best interests of the child.

 

[novemberbride]

I'm curious....Maybe the very wise, and always helpful seniors can enlighten me.

Do judges often order co-parenting classes when the parents live such a far distance apart, without specifying when/where the classes are?

OP, nobody has twisted anything. I read your original post, and this one. I'm a great reader-er. You said you weren't breastfeeding, then you said you were breastfeeding, then you said you didn't tell the judge you were breastfeeding, but that you were trying to breastfeed. Not saying you're not, or your baby's digestive problems aren't important. Just saying....you said three different breastfeeding stories.