Updated my mother's and father's will

[nalnk]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

My parents reside n New York. They have a will which they will be updating. I am the daughter and I have a brother. My mom and I will be discussing points for her to take to the lawyer. My parents are 78. I can't go with them to the lawyers because I live in a different state and work full time.

My parents want to change the will to protect my brother's inheritance from him wife. As it has been my experience a number of times with Lawyers, sometimes you have to come prepared to ask questions, make suggestions, or simply see if things are possible to be done....

My parents want, when they pass, to have a bank account set up in my brother's name only and that I become the trustee and set up a stipend account for him. Also, I'm assuming that someone needs to be made beneficiary? Has anyone ever done something like this before?

I will be seeing my mom in a few weeks so I would like to share this with her and we will have a conference call with her Lawyer (my mom, myself and the lawyer).

Any advice, suggestions, etc.

 

[Zigner]

Your brother's wife wouldn't have access to his inheritance unless he wants her to.

 

[nalnk]

Your brother's wife wouldn't have access to his inheritance unless he wants her to.

We know that and that is why my parents want to set up a bank account where I control his inheritance by giving him a stipend. We (my parents and I) feel more comfortable knowing that he has less to loose this way. We worry that if he gets all the $ up front, she will run with 1/2 because my brother co mingles everything. Whether he wants to comingle or she makes him do that .... we (my parents and I) do not know this. It is my belief and gut feeling (based on what I've overheard) that she is with my brother for his $.

Just for example, over the Christmas holiday, my brother and I each got a check. My parents made it clear that it was for us (not our spouses). My parents know that I play be their rules so it went into MY account. When my parents arrived at my brother's house and they told him that they have a check for HIM, he requested that they hand it to him in front of her so that she knows it is for HIM and not HER.

So getting back to your reply (thank you)... we just want to protect my brother from loosing everything that he has coming to him.

 

[Zigner]

We know that and that is why my parents want to set up a bank account where I control his inheritance by giving him a stipend. We (my parents and I) feel more comfortable knowing that he has less to loose this way. We worry that if he gets all the $ up front, she will run with 1/2 because my brother co mingles everything. Whether he wants to comingle or she makes him do that .... we (my parents and I) do not know this. It is my belief and gut feeling (based on what I've overheard) that she is with my brother for his $.

Just for example, over the Christmas holiday, my brother and I each got a check. My parents made it clear that it was for us (not our spouses). My parents know that I play be their rules so it went into MY account. When my parents arrived at my brother's house and they told him that they have a check for HIM, he requested that they hand it to him in front of her so that she knows it is for HIM and not HER.

So getting back to your reply (thank you)... we just want to protect my brother from loosing everything that he has coming to him.

Ok, what you are trying to accomplish is to protect the brother's inheritance from the brother, (just to call a spade a spade.)

If your brother wants to give his wife money, he is entitled to do that. Your parents sound very controlling, but alas, they are entitled to be, up to a point.

Yes, a trust should accomplish what your parents are trying to do - well, at least until he GETS the money and is able to do with it what he wants.

 

[curb1]

If the parents are as controlling as they sound, would they want to set up the account in your name and give the brother an allowance? If brother wants to share his money with his wife (not too unusual) he can, and probably will do that. What do the parents want him to spend this money on? Trips by himself? Cars for himself? Or what?

 

[nalnk]

Difficult to put all facts, etc. on the thread. We all (family members outside of my brother) have reason to believe that his wife is waiting for my parents to pass. I heard her make a comment on the day they married (to her two daughters) that they finally nabbed by brother. My brother is not allowed to spend money on his family members anymore (mother, father, me) except for a small (cheap) gift. My brother pays all bills, etc. and has no say (I hear everythng from my mother)... He pays for her kids braces, etc. but has no say on whether they brush their teeth (I heard about that personally from him). So, she is bacially in this marriage for the money but my brother has his head up his butt and refuses to listen to any of it out of disgust with himself, ignorance, denial, whatever! So, therefore, we need to set up a stipend so that small amounts are distributed yearly. It is correct that we can't control what he does with. Again, i can't get into every detail in writing but my brother has done soooo many stupid things with this woman that my mother is disgusted. It's her son and she still wants to provide for him but in no way, does she want her to have anything.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

My parents reside n New York. They have a will which they will be updating. I am the daughter and I have a brother. My mom and I will be discussing points for her to take to the lawyer. My parents are 78. I can't go with them to the lawyers because I live in a different state and work full time.

My parents want to change the will to protect my brother's inheritance from him wife. As it has been my experience a number of times with Lawyers, sometimes you have to come prepared to ask questions, make suggestions, or simply see if things are possible to be done....

My parents want, when they pass, to have a bank account set up in my brother's name only and that I become the trustee and set up a stipend account for him. Also, I'm assuming that someone needs to be made beneficiary? Has anyone ever done something like this before?

I will be seeing my mom in a few weeks so I would like to share this with her and we will have a conference call with her Lawyer (my mom, myself and the lawyer).

Any advice, suggestions, etc.

Your parents honestly don't need to do this. Inheritances are separate property and are not divisible in a divorce. Therefore as long as your brother deposits the money in a separate account, it remains his separate property.

If your parents are worried about your brother GIVING the money to his wife, then they would need to set up a trust with your brother as the beneficiary and you as the trustee. It would not simply be a bank account.

 

[curb1]

Why couldn't it be a bank account in sisters name? That would work basically the same as the trust you suggest with considerably less hassle and cost.

 

[Zigner]

Why couldn't it be a bank account in sisters name? That would work basically the same as the trust you suggest with considerably less hassle and cost.

Because then it's no longer an "inheritance" - and that may make a difference, depending on how much money we're talking about here.

 

[curb1]

It doesn't have to be labeled an "inheritance" to serve the desired purpose.

 

[TrustUser]

you gotta be kidding me !!

a bank account in sister's name is almost the same thing as a trust with her as trustee and brother as beneficiary - boy, you got some learning to do.

i would not label these parents as controlling. they simply want to make sure that the wife of their son does not get any of the inheritance money.

this is very common.

by not giving him the funds directly, the wife has no way of getting to it. it gives the son a perfect excuse - he has no say in the manner.

sure, she can get her hands on the income once it is distributed.

but the corpus will always be his. and if they divorce, it will remain outside of her grasp.

unlike the account being in his own name. you never know what will happen.

curb1 always seems to be against trusts, with a major complaint of it being too expensive.

trusts are not expensive. i make them all the time for myself.

your parents could set up separate trusts for every asset they have, if they chose.

i think it is best to put each individual real property in its own separate trust.

certainly a trust for a bank account is a pretty simple thing.

the main thing to consider is how the trust should distribute funds. the income the trust makes is pretty much always distributed entirely to the beneficiary.

so the only real question is whether there is any time frame such that the corpus gets distributed to the son ? or does it simply pass along to the son's children, etc. ?

it is certainly not a complicated situation, and pretty much any attorney with a decent amount of trust knowledge could easily prepare a trust document to meet the needs of the situation.

 

[TrustUser]

it is a fact of life that some people are not dominant or aggressive, and some are.

and when a parent knows that their child is somewhat passive, at least in regards to the opposite sex, it is a smart parent that admits this, and takes action to deal with it.

to me, this is one of many of the great advantages of a trust.

 

[curb1]

I disagree. The bank account is the best way to satisfy this situation. Much cleaner and cheaper.

 

[nalnk]

Thank you to all.... I spoke with a legal staffer in the attorney's office where my parents have their current will.

A trust account might be the way to go if there aren't any huge expenses involved. Is it best to have my parents put everything into my name (in trust for me) and have the will spell everything out as to what amount my brother will get yearly, quarterly, whatever.... on such and such date(s). This seems to take the inheritance completely off the table for her to make any claims on it whether it be divorce, or i.oes a lawyer take over and make payments according to the will. IF he survives me, I presume that a lawyer can be made responsible to make payments to my brother according to the will.

Also, what are the tax implications on setting something like this up?

 

[tranquility]

Thank you to all.... I spoke with a legal staffer in the attorney's office where my parents have their current will.

A trust account might be the way to go if there aren't any huge expenses involved. Is it best to have my parents put everything into my name (in trust for me) and have the will spell everything out as to what amount my brother will get yearly, quarterly, whatever.... on such and such date(s). This seems to take the inheritance completely off the table for her to make any claims on it whether it be divorce, or i.oes a lawyer take over and make payments according to the will. IF he survives me, I presume that a lawyer can be made responsible to make payments to my brother according to the will.

Also, what are the tax implications on setting something like this up?

No legal staffer in the attorney's office told you to do that. Time to become uninvolved. Let your parents go to the attorney and figure things out on their own.