Urgent Request For Help, Part 2

[rmet4nzkx]

I'm making a package of all of the essentials and I will make 4 copies of each on the way to the courthouse.

What do I file for child support? I'm not looking to get any, I just don't want to have to pay if I have custody.

Is it likely that I will have the opportunity to write up orders for parenting time and the restraining order based on the findings of the court and not have an order ready for signing at the hearing?

Keep track of all your costs (copy, fax etc.) and receipts, any legal costs and or fees, request mom pay if you prevail.

Ask the court for orders re child support, to susspend your current obligation begining when you regained physical custody and possibly as far back as when mom left the children in the care of GM without notice to you. She is likely to begin to respect the court if she is held responsible for child support of some amount in addition to contempt charges and fines. If her wages are attached for child support, then there will be some record of her actual employment, again, the facts will speak for themselves. Since she continues to live with others, leave her children with others, and work, somewhere, she demonstrates no hardship and should be capable of paying her fair calculated child support, even though you may be capable of supporting them without her child support, there will be a number of expenses initially you will encounter in reversing their prior neglect, child support is for the children, not the parents.

Check with the court for the filing requirements for the orders, some may be done in court, others may be filed within X days.

 

[raiseretrievers]

I lost.

All the judge needed to do is see the mother and everything I said meant nothing. I was not able to make an opening statement or provide any evidence for the cause. All that the commissioner asked is what I wanted without me being able to provide the evidence to support my cause.

Not surprisingly, she lied. She said she had been at her moms the whole time. The commissioner said that since I was able to get ahold of them by tracking them down at school, that it was all fine. He asked the mother if she minded letting me know where she lived, and she said no. Endo of that chapter.

I have two small victories. I now have parenting time every-other weekend and an order for a guardian al litem to look into the alcohol abuse and honesty issues.

My children were so sad. But, I fingerprinted them, took their hieght, weight, pictures, etc. so that when they are abducted I will have information available for the FBI.

I really don't expect to see them anytime soon, but, she may just go along for it awhile for appearances sake and then take off when the coast is clear.

This same commissioner allowed a woman going through divorce and moving to Boise, ID, for a job to relocate her 8 year old daughter who has only known one residence and whose father is employed and very active in her life. The father's attorney asked for visitation on Christmas, but the commissioner said that he wanted the girl to be in Idaho to celebrate.

I still can't believe that my entire case was ignored. All the commissioner really did is ask who the custodial parent was according to the Oregon parenting plan and said that that is what is to be followed.

Next step is to file for all of the contempts of the parenting plan, right? Instead of the $500 for a guardian ad litem, perhaps I can squeeze a couple of hours from an attorney?

Are there resources for free, inexpensive, yet qualified attorney who can help?

 

[Inquiry123]

A+ for effort!

You didn't lose...you took a stand and (I think) made a point. I bet everyone got the message. Nice job.

You made a bold move...took more guts than I've got.

Keep your head held high -- this was one step. If anything, you can get some rest knowing that everyone will probably be on "best behavior" for awhile! Your kids will know that you stepped-up to the plate in an attempt to protect their best interests.

Keep it up!

 

[stealth2]

Remember - losing the battle doesn't mean losing the war. As inquiry said - you made an important stand today. What you need to do is make sure you don't allow this one setback to keep you from fighting another day.

I know it's disappointing, and I am sorry that things didn't go your way. But you showed your kids something important - that their Dad will fight for their well-being.

Hang in there, dude!

 

[raiseretrievers]

Thanks for the much needed boost. I knew going into this that the odds were against me (this time), but I did take a stand and I am not going to let my children fall through the cracks.

I'm on a crusade right now. You know that the WSP, the county sheriff and the city police do not have the means to fingreprint children, even to aid in location of abducted children?

I could not find a goverment resource to assist me, so I bought an ink pad and some blank note cards and fingerprinted them myself. I attempted to get statements from the children by the school counsellor, but there were no qualified people to talk with them. My goal was for them to ask questions to my children regarding their living situation including how long they lived there with whom and where their mother was living. I also was going to have questions asked about alcohol use in the home. My intent was to have a non-biased questioneer to talk with them privately so an accurate statement could be made.

I told the children briefly about what had happened. That we both apepared by ourselves and swore an oaf to God to tell the truth and that their mom had said that she was living with her mom all of the time. Having been always inbed in them by me that honesty was the most important character of a man, they are very honest children and wondered why their mom had lied.

The oldest is still wondering why his GM had lied about me stealing the clarinet.

I despise dishonesty and deceit. It made me so sad to hear the lies in court today and to watch as the commissioner didn't even care to get at the truth.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I'm sorry you didn't get your chance to make your case in court and didn't have time to get an attorney to represent you, but all is not lost, it might have been different if you culd have filed your declarations in advance, you may want to file them now but ask the facilitator if that is possible. You have put together much of your case already. You have also established several very important things such as fingerprinting the children if and or when she abducts the children again or interfers with visitation. You should have visitation in two weeks. You might want to call missing and exploited children's again, You might also want to invest in a FAX machine

If you have already made the application for the GAL stick with that because that will give you a chance to address the abduction issues as well, but most important of all they will talk with the children and can investigate the continued interference with visitation and exposure to dangerous conditions. $500 there will go farther than elsewhere and you may still get what is in the children's best interest. Keep us updated.

Contact legal aid and see if they can offer some suggestions for filing the contempt charges, get domestication of the order, representation and filing an appeal or file for modification. Here is the Lewis County Court Facilitator 462 NW Park St Chehalis WA 98532 360-748-0430, perhaps they can help with the appeal or schedule a hearing once the GAL has made their report.
Also
Access to Justice Board (they also have pro bono goto the sidebar and click on it, they may even have someone interested in custody cases.)
2101 Fourth Avenue, Ste. 400,
Seattle, WA 98121-2330
Phone: 206-727-8262, Fax: 206-727-8320
Established by The Supreme Court of Washington, administered by the Washington State Bar Association
How to Find Legal Help
YOU ARE: low income
have a civil legal problem
do not live in King County
Call CLEAR Intake (toll free) 1-888-201-1014 for legal assistance

The Northwest Justice Project has developed a client intake system called CLEAR. The system allows low-income individuals to be referred to legal assistance in their community by calling a toll-free number. Certain cases can be referred to Northwest Justice Project offices, local volunteer lawyer programs, law school clinics or other resources in the caller's community. When seeking assistance, please call CLEAR Intake (toll free) 1-888-201-1014 before calling other legal services programs.

For self-help legal information on a variety of topics, go to http://www.nwjustice.org/

YOU ARE: low income
have a civil legal problem
live in King County

Visit the Northwest Justice Project's King County legal service providers directory for assistance.

For self-help legal information on a variety of topics, go to http://www.nwjustice.org/

YOU ARE: not low income
There are Lawyer Referral Services throughout the state and there may be one in your area. Lawyer Referral Services are for the general public - there are no financial eligibility requirements. The lawyers charge their regular fees for services after the initial consultation. These are not low-cost or reduced fee attorney panels.

If you live in Spokane County, you may be eligible for low cost legal services depending on your income and type of legal problem. Please call CLEAR Intake (toll free) 1-888-201-1014 for legal assistance.

For self-help legal information on a variety of topics, go to http://www.nwjustice.org/

 

[stealth2]

I told the children briefly about what had happened. That we both apepared by ourselves and swore an oaf to God to tell the truth and that their mom had said that she was living with her mom all of the time. Having been always inbed in them by me that honesty was the most important character of a man, they are very honest children and wondered why their mom had lied.

Dude, I'm going to have to take exception to this. The absolute worst thing you can do is involve the kids further than they already have been. Expect to now be hit with a PAS claim. Apart from that, kids simply should NOT be placed in the middle of their parents' sh*t. In doing the above, you're no better than your ex. That was, quite simply, wrong.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You were posting while I was making a long post.

You made a point with the children, You told them the facts, what was said. They know the truth and who is telling the truth without you talking bad about their mother, but that is something to be careful about. You are lucky that you had the opportunity to talk to them before they were ripped from their arms and they know you did your best to protect them. Obviously they knew you were going to court, and had to have some explaination as to what happened, especially if they are going to go back to their mom.

This is the first step and your evidence will speak for it's self, this will take some time. You may be able to get statements from the principle who thought the GM was custodain which will contradict the mother's statement.

 

[Illinois Parent]

I'm very sorry...

All day yesterday, I couldn't get on the site, get pages to load, post...crap.

What I was trying to post for you was the thought to do whatever you had to do to get a lawyer. Others may disagree, but, in this case I think it is absolutely essential for you. You did a lot of homework, a lot of learning and had everything well in hand, but I just knew it was going to be of no avail.

The simple truth is the courts are more often than not not very kind to pro se litigants. Believe me, there are few things more frustrating than having the truth, common sense and 'right' on your side and not being heard. I will not hijack you post, but will start a new one, and I'll tell you how a very similar situation happened to me. I am so angry right now because I was desperately trying to advise you to get an attorney and get a continuance or ANYTHING that would have given an attorney time to present to the courts what was needed to be presented and the way it was needed to be presented.

A local attorney will know the courts, the judges and their temperments. A local attorney will know what to present, how to present it, in what order. He/She will know what issues are generally hot buttons for what judge, and if a particular judge is 'known' to be harder on fathers, mothers, etc. But, it is far from too late. Get on the phone, set up interviews with as many attorneys as you can. And make no mistake, they are interviews - you are interviewing them for the job. You want to find someone who is going to be glad to have a client who is proactive, one who is trying to learn all they can to assist their own case. Many attorneys, as a way to reduce fees, will work with you and tell you when something needs to be done that you can do instead of paying them to do for you. You want an attorney that specializes in child custody issues, not just in divorce.

I have learned more on these boards in the past 4 years than I could ever have imagined. I have seen horror stories and stories of remarkable kindness and justice. And like in your situation, I have had my faith in humanity restored many times over, reading and watching as complete strangers spend incredible amounts of time helping people they will never meet, people they could pass on the street and not recognize. Believe me when I tell you that people are bleeding with you and crying with you. And we will all celebrate when things are finally working as they should for you and for your kids, whether that be in their mom's custody with you having consistent visits and involvement in their lives or with you as their custodial parent.

As far as talking to the kids and telling them what happened in court, I completely understand what you did and why. There is no one on these boards who is a stronger defender in the innocence of children, these kids needed to know what happened. Only you can say if you could have or should have handled it differently, but I am certainly not going to pass judgement on you. If that is the worst thing you did or do where your kids are concerned, you having nothing to be ashamed of. Perhaps at some time in the future you could have a conversation with them explaining how sorry you are that all of this hasn't been transparent to them as it should be, but you want them to know that what you are doing is from your feelings of what is best for them, not that their mother or grandmother or anyone else is wrong. Believe me, kids will see through things sooner than you think, and it is definitely in your best interest, particularly if there will be a Guardian ad litem involved for you to say as little as possible to them about the whole situation.

As things progress, practice saying things like "Honey, I don't know what your mom or grandmother said" "I don't know what is going to happen, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you know I love you and will keep trying to do everything I can to stay in your lives and work all this out" "All this has nothing to do with you kids. These problems are between us adults" "Of course we are all fighting over you, that is because we all love you so much and we all want you and what is best for you. We just have different ideas about how to go about deciding what is best for you". You get the idea. There is everything wrong with kids being involved much less in the middle. But once they are, how you handle it will make all the difference in the world.

Just one note from personal history. My son, between the ages of 18 months and 6 years was under constant threat of being abducted by his father. For 5 years, he had supervised visitiation only. It was a horrible, horrible time, but he lived through it and so did I. My ex had plane tickets and was on the way to the airport on two seperate occasion. He had hired some loser to run me off the road in a remote, wooded area, while my then two year old was in the back seat. The list of things is unbelievable, and when he is 18, I will submit the manuscipt for publication, under a psuedonym. My point is, I truly understand what you are going through and what your kids are going. Hire an attorney, this is too big to tackle yourself. The next step is to get counseling, for both you and the kids. You are going to need the counseling more than they will. Talk to the NCMEC, they may have local referrals for you for someone experienced in all this. In addition to everything else they do, they also have lists of NPO's who work with and on the behalf of families like yours

 

[raiseretrievers]

First, to stealth2, nothing in what I said or how I said it in anyway was malicious or vindictive. The children wanted to know why I did not get to keep them and I told them very briefly and without malice the cusp of the events. I was not able to present my case because the judge believed their mom when she told him that she was and always had been living with the GM. I told them that the hearing began with both of us swearing to God to tell the truth. They construed the rest and asked why their mother had lied. That is all.

If that event makes you dislike me or my actions, I have no more control over that than I had at the entire hearing.

Second, for the rest of you, I am worn out from this week of stress and the fact that I had my children for several days and was not able to spend the quality time with them that I would normally. We went for ice cream after I picked them up from school (well, and after I spent 1 1/2 hours trying to get them fingerprinted). We had a good time together and laughed alot and cried alot. She picked up my children at 4:25 pm.

I'll print out the rest of the posts and return when I ragain my composure. Thanks to all of you who have supported my children's cause and gave me the extra strength to try to do the right thing.

The order for GAL includes a list of 3 GALS. The mother was supposed to cross off one name on her form, I was supposed to cross off one name on my form and the remaining name would the GAL. If we both crossed off the same name, the court would decide. Now, at $75.00/hr and with a $500 retainer, that GAL will rack up a huge bill in just the travel time (1 1/2 hours each way plus $.33/mile) and not have time for any interviewing or observation without more money. If the GAL makes an appointment with the household, then they will just clean up their act long enough for the GAL to do the GAL thing and then go back to the normal routine. Of course, if the GAL interviews the children privately, they will tell the truth about whatever they are told.

I must find a way to petition the court to allow a GAL from the local county seat. This will cut way down on the travel expenses and give the ability for pop-in visits, if that is how they do it.

Hiring an attorney is looking more like a feasible option of late. They can process the contempt charges and apply for joint custody and actually be heard by the court. It will be a start. On their advice I could go for the GAL. Right now I have no confidence in the legal system as it pertains to custody. I am so disillusioned.

So long for now. I will start a new post soon to begin the next chapter of my journey through the book of life.

Thanks again to all who have been supportive. I would have been so lost without all of the insight and links. Being overwhelmed as I was would have seemed like a picnic compared to feeling alone in the world.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

As disappointed as you are, you still have many options and believe it or not, you made more progress than you think. Don't beat yourself up because you could not spend the quality time you wanted to with your children, because it was quality time, just quality time of a different sort. Remember, your ex is the one who moved away, and you followed to be able to have a relationship with your children. Your children know you love them and have your respect. Your ex also knows that you cannot be manipulated and that you will fight for your children's rights. She also cannot change the facts and evidence that exist. Perjury is still a serious issue in court. This is far from over.

You were not prepared and did the best you could on short notice, nor could you expect that they would change the judge on you as they did, or that you wouldn't be allowed to present your case, you prepared. We also said that you might have to present orally, preparing your written pleadings still helped you develop your case and that will still be important in the future.

You did get more parenting time, and you did get her to disclose where she resides, whether or not it is the truth is another story. it is not sure from what you said if the issue of jurisdiction has been established and if so, what county and to your advantage for you to have it domesticated in your county since mom failed to do that.

While she will have some choice in eliminating 1 GAL it is to the advantage of your children for the GAL to be closer to you and the court at the same time she has no choice in one being appointed. This is further proof that your county is taking jurisdiction. You can give the evidence you collected and will continue to collect to the GAL and because they represent the children, will be able to investigate at their discretion, so while they may clean up their act for a visit, she will have a difficult explaining other things, such as the school being under the impression that the GM was the custodian etc.
While the cost may be less if the GAL doesn't have to travel so far to work with the children, it is possible that mom will have to being the children to the GAL and that home studies may be done by local agencies.

When you check the cost of an attorney which you will need also, you will find that your $500 for the GAL will go further and will also show that your goal is the best interest of the children, let that be your mantra, "THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN"

Please go through the resources provided, contact the Northwest Justice project links, because you will need an attorney well versed with custody issues inlcuding parental abduction and your everyday attorney is not going to be able to do that although they may know the local judges, because most of this has happened in the past and you are fighting a different battle and the retainer for a custody attorney, if you find one in your area, might start at $5,000 or more. The GAL may accomplish most of what you wanted in the first place, leaving more common legal issues for a family law attorney or something you can do through the Facilators offcie. Another option is mediation, but I susspect your ex will not agree to that.

Keep us updated on your progress and don't give up.

 

[raiseretrievers]

I will do all that is necessary.

Can I request that the children be interviewed by the GAL locally? Is this at the discretion of the GAL or the judge? Can the mother refuse to bring the children to the GAL if requested?

If the mother allows the Christmas visit, I will have the children from next Friday until Sunday, December 26. Can I request that the GAL interview the children during that time or is it best to just let the GAL do what they do without interference or suggestions?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I will do all that is necessary.

Can I request that the children be interviewed by the GAL locally? Is this at the discretion of the GAL or the judge? Can the mother refuse to bring the children to the GAL if requested?

If the mother allows the Christmas visit, I will have the children from next Friday until Sunday, December 26. Can I request that the GAL interview the children during that time or is it best to just let the GAL do what they do without interference or suggestions?

Once the GAL is appointed I'm sure they will be in contact with you or you with them and you can make that request, most likely that will work better in their schedule, but it will be up to them, same thing if the children happen to be with you. You ex can't refuse to cooperate with the GAL, but if she does, she does and it will speak for it's self.

If you were scheduled to have the children for the Christman break then she should allow that time, or she will face contempt charges. You were acting under the courts order before. It all depends on the GAL schedule if they will be able to interview the children during your holiday visitation.

do you get to talk to them on the phone in between visits?

 

[raiseretrievers]

As a matter of fact, my oldest has called me twice so far. He called me from the half-way point last night and we talked for awhile. He also left a message on my machine today telling me he got an "S" on his cereal lid (I gave them some individual cereals and we're trying to spell "upromise' with the lids. We now just need a "u" to win $1000.} (any u's out there?}

I'm going to go for the GAL. I'm sure that much good can come from it, but without another court date in sight what can I do with the gathered information?

 

[raiseretrievers]

I'm going to start a new thread about GAL.