vacations

[Alibuyn]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MN

My ex and I have joint physical and legal with 50/50 time, we rotate weeks with our son.
RE: vacations
My court documents state "Each parent is entitled to two non-consecutive one-week vacations or extended time per year with the child.... The vacation should minimize interference with the other parent's parenting time and should include the normally scheduled weekend when possible. Additionally, vacation should minimize interference with the child's school and activities". Also "If there is a conflict mother's time shall prevail in even numbered years and father's in odd numbered years".

I have our son the first week of school next year per our parenting schedule. My ex-husband has now requested it for his vacation week. He says he will not be going anywhere, and son will still be going to school. Does the language above prevent him from having him that week? Asking because I was really looking forward to having him his first week of kindergarten If I can't, I can't, don't blast me for asking. It just seems to me that we're not supposed to schedule the vacation weeks during school time but then not sure because he says he's not going anywhere.

Thanks
Ali

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MN

My ex and I have joint physical and legal with 50/50 time, we rotate weeks with our son.
RE: vacations
My court documents state "Each parent is entitled to two non-consecutive one-week vacations or extended time per year with the child.... The vacation should minimize interference with the other parent's parenting time and should include the normally scheduled weekend when possible. Additionally, vacation should minimize interference with the child's school and activities". Also "If there is a conflict mother's time shall prevail in even numbered years and father's in odd numbered years".

I have our son the first week of school next year per our parenting schedule. My ex-husband has now requested it for his vacation week. He says he will not be going anywhere, and son will still be going to school. Does the language above prevent him from having him that week? Asking because I was really looking forward to having him his first week of kindergarten If I can't, I can't, don't blast me for asking. It just seems to me that we're not supposed to schedule the vacation weeks during school time but then not sure because he says he's not going anywhere.

Thanks
Ali

Sounds like he might be able to take that time. Is it worth going to court? Have you ever taken one of his weeks for vacation? He can schedule a vacation week during school so long as it doesn't INTERFERE with schooling.

 

[sandyclaus]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MN

My ex and I have joint physical and legal with 50/50 time, we rotate weeks with our son.
RE: vacations
My court documents state "Each parent is entitled to two non-consecutive one-week vacations or extended time per year with the child.... The vacation should minimize interference with the other parent's parenting time and should include the normally scheduled weekend when possible. Additionally, vacation should minimize interference with the child's school and activities". Also "If there is a conflict mother's time shall prevail in even numbered years and father's in odd numbered years".

I have our son the first week of school next year per our parenting schedule. My ex-husband has now requested it for his vacation week. He says he will not be going anywhere, and son will still be going to school. Does the language above prevent him from having him that week? Asking because I was really looking forward to having him his first week of kindergarten If I can't, I can't, don't blast me for asking. It just seems to me that we're not supposed to schedule the vacation weeks during school time but then not sure because he says he's not going anywhere.

Thanks
Ali

No, the order does not say it's not supposed to happen. It says that that the vacation should MINIMIZE interference with the child's school.

If dad just wants his vacation week to coincide with the child's first week of school, and the child is still going to be ATTENDING school instead of being absent for the vacation time, then it seems that Dad is well within his rights to request that week. It would be different if during that vacation week the child was going to be absent from school due to being out of town with Dad, but that doesn't appear to be the case.

As much as you would like to be there for the child's first days of school, sounds like Dad does, too. Just because you CAN pull rank and say it's a conflict just to get your way, it really isn't - because YOU don't have any specific plans for that week either, except for the very same plans Dad appears to have. Why should your desires prevail over his in this situation?

Co-parenting is about compromise, and you really need to let this one go, Mom.

 

[CJane]

Just because you CAN pull rank and say it's a conflict just to get your way, it really isn't - because YOU don't have any specific plans for that week either, except for the very same plans Dad appears to have. Why should your desires prevail over his in this situation?

Mom canNOT "pull rank" and claim a conflict. Mom's time would prevail in EVEN NUMBERED YEARS - which next August is NOT. And even if it WERE an even year, it would not be "pulling rank", it would be "exercising her right to utilize her court-ordered time".

 

[Alibuyn]

thanks everyone

I kinda figured but I was grasping at straws if you want the truth. I'll just have to make sure to coordinate the time his dad is taking him to school so I can be there for his first day for sure.

 

[Just Blue]

I kinda figured but I was grasping at straws if you want the truth. I'll just have to make sure to coordinate the time his dad is taking him to school so I can be there for his first day for sure.

Yes. You can still show up for child first day of kd. Talk to Dad and work out that very special day so the two most special people in child life are there. WITHOUT CONFLICT.

Bring a tissue or two. I know I needed it for that day with my children.

 

[nextwife]

I kinda figured but I was grasping at straws if you want the truth. I'll just have to make sure to coordinate the time his dad is taking him to school so I can be there for his first day for sure.

BTW: Check way ahead of time with the school.

My kiddo's school had the Kindergartners "first day" as a partial day, a day or so BEFORE the official start of school - as a less chaotic introduction to school for the little ones. So the "first day" of school may actually be the second day, depending how your child's school handles things.

 

[CJane]

BTW: Check way ahead of time with the school.

My kiddo's school had the Kindergartners "first day" as a partial day, a day or so BEFORE the official start of school - as a less chaotic introduction to school for the little ones. So the "first day" of school may actually be the second day, depending how your child's school handles things.

Completely off topic, but that's the silliest thing I've ever heard.

 

[Zigner]

Our local HS did something similar. Freshmen started on Friday, the rest of the grades started the following Monday.

 

[Just Blue]

Completely off topic, but that's the silliest thing I've ever heard.

May I ask why you think NW post is "silly"?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I have also seen where those coming into middle school and high school had orientation the day before the regular start of school. It was practice run for the buses too.

Our kindergarten's and pre-K folks start the same day as elementary. I know that open house took place right before the start of school.

 

[Proserpina]

May I ask why you think NW post is "silly"?

I don't think CJ was stating that NW's post itself was silly - just the idea behind the school's decision to do an "orientation" for kindie.

(Not that I would ever be so presumptuous as to speak for anybody else here)

 

[CJane]

I don't think CJ was stating that NW's post itself was silly - just the idea behind the school's decision to do an "orientation" for kindie.

(Not that I would ever be so presumptuous as to speak for anybody else here)

You're mostly correct.

I actually get an orientation - we do that for K, 4 (new school), 7 (junior high), and 9 (high school). What I think is silly is having a 'first day of school' separate from the first day of school that other students have.

 

[LdiJ]

I kinda figured but I was grasping at straws if you want the truth. I'll just have to make sure to coordinate the time his dad is taking him to school so I can be there for his first day for sure.

Personally, I don't understand why you have vacations specified at all. Your timeshare is every other week therefore the two of you have ample time to take one week vacations. Therefore the only reason for either of you to choose the other's time for vacation would be to be a PITA. I could understand spelling out vacations if you wanted to take two weeks, or if you were not rotating weeks, but otherwise it makes no sense.

 

[Ohiogal]

Personally, I don't understand why you have vacations specified at all. Your timeshare is every other week therefore the two of you have ample time to take one week vacations. Therefore the only reason for either of you to choose the other's time for vacation would be to be a PITA. I could understand spelling out vacations if you wanted to take two weeks, or if you were not rotating weeks, but otherwise it makes no sense.

It makes perfect sense. What if dad wanted to take a vacation on his time but it was during his child's finals week? He could do it if it was not spelled out. He could take his time over mom's holiday time if it was not spelled out. You don't get it because you don't deal with the issues that result from NOT spelling it out.

There is a way in which she could deny HIM however she still hasn't answered MY questions which were asked for a specific reason:
Is it worth going to court? Have you ever taken one of his weeks for vacation?

The reason being is a part of the order:

The vacation should minimize interference with the other parent's parenting time and should include the normally scheduled weekend when possible.

However if they have taken vacations on one another's weeks in the past that is not going to fly. AND she cannot prevent him from taking the vacation and would have to take him to court for contempt.