Visitation and child manipulation

[commentator]

Quote: I’d love to be able to talk to my daughter like the new suggestions state, but we’ve reached a point where I’m not able to see or talk to her anymore Unless I force the issue, which I’m worried would backfire quickly."

How so backfire? In that she's going to what? "..hate you forever?" Phooey! The thing she's most likely to dislike you for in the long run is being a pushover for her crazy momma.

Discard from your head any of the parental alienation syndrome stuff. That doesn't play well at all in any sort of court situation, it came and went a long time ago.

Your problem, as I have said several times here already is that you are letting your daughter, supposedly, but through your ex wife, decide whether or not you will follow the law.

In other words, you're a pushover. No wonder they enjoy you so much. You pay, and you follow your ex wife's directives and you do what your daughter supposedly "wants." Counseling strongly suggested for you, first of all. The woman is lying to you. Has been always. Will continue to do so. The daughter is avidly learning to do the same. She is not of an age to set rules, to be in charge, to boss you around, to decide anything, have her decisions about how she feels about her parents fully formed in any way. End of my feedback.

 

[LdiJ]

I’d love to be able to talk to my daughter like the new suggestions state, but we’ve reached a point where I’m not able to see or talk to her anymore Unless I force the issue, which I’m worried would backfire.

That might be a valid concern if your daughter was 17, about to be 18. At 10, not so much. You really do need to force the issue.

 

[stealth2]

Unless I force the issue, which I’m worried would backfire.

Suppose you were more involved and your 10yo didn't want to go to school. Or the doctor. Or the dentist. Would you force the issue or twiddle your thumbs out of fear of it "backfiring"?