Visitation/custody violation California

[avocado]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CALIFORNIA

My daughter's father and myself both have joint legal and physical custody of her. The court order states we have her weekly with a 10am exchange on mondays. I have not seen or talked to my daughter (who is only 3) since 10/5/2013. Her father has been making up excuses for me not to see her. he made up a rule that i have to give him a week notice to see her. He's had her most of the time since march because i needed to get back on my feet after a bump in the road. We verbally agreed on this and the court has even stated if we can agree verbally it's ok. (He got a chance to get back on his feet after I left him and I had our daughter full time to help him have that free time to get back on his feet). I have been having my daughter over and visiting her very often since march so it isn't like i just up and left and didn't have her in my life. I got back on my feet in october 2013 and only got to see my daughter 10/5/13. Her dad filed full custody papers on 10/25/13 stating that my daughter was with me on 10/20/13 and that she was touched on her privates by four boys, that she bathes with her adolecent brothers, that my ex husband bathes her and that im in a violent relationship. My daughter was not with me 10/20/13. I haven't seen or talked to her since 10/5/13 because he is keeping her from me! He even took her to the ER and had her checked out and lied to cops and they reported me to Child Prtective Services!!! I didn't have her on 10/20/13 and have texts to prove me trying to get my daughter since 10/11/13 but I still haven't seen her! She doesn't bathe with her brothers, I never even change her clothes without panties on in front of my boys who are 10 and 11. even though they're my boys I just don't do that. my ex husand has never bathed my daughter. his girlfriend who has two small boys of her own that she takes awesome care of bathed my daughter when she spent the night there to visit my sons who live with their dad for now. I am also not in a violent relationship. I left my daughter's father because he beat me up for the last time.

All in all I don't know what to do. I have filed numerous visitation violation reports with the district attorney, got a few incident reports from the cops that he hasn't given me my daughter, told CPS about it (BTW, they found no safetly issue me having my daughter, they're writting a letter to the court in my favor) and I've texted, called and left voicemails to my daughter's father and nothing. he just refuses to bring her to exchanges. I miss her terribly and fear he's brainwashing her. I have always been civil with him despite him making my life hell for the past 2 years of not being with him, he does it for fun. What do you suggest I do? I have sooooooo much proof that he's keeping her from me, harrassment, lies, etc etc etc but the cops won't help much because I still haven't even had a glimpse of my daughter for over a month. he won't even tell me the name and address of her daycare.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CALIFORNIA

My daughter's father and myself both have joint legal and physical custody of her. The court order states we have her weekly with a 10am exchange on mondays. I have not seen or talked to my daughter (who is only 3) since 10/5/2013. Her father has been making up excuses for me not to see her. he made up a rule that i have to give him a week notice to see her. He's had her most of the time since march because i needed to get back on my feet after a bump in the road. We verbally agreed on this and the court has even stated if we can agree verbally it's ok. (He got a chance to get back on his feet after I left him and I had our daughter full time to help him have that free time to get back on his feet). I have been having my daughter over and visiting her very often since march so it isn't like i just up and left and didn't have her in my life. I got back on my feet in october 2013 and only got to see my daughter 10/5/13. Her dad filed full custody papers on 10/25/13 stating that my daughter was with me on 10/20/13 and that she was touched on her privates by four boys, that she bathes with her adolecent brothers, that my ex husband bathes her and that im in a violent relationship. My daughter was not with me 10/20/13. I haven't seen or talked to her since 10/5/13 because he is keeping her from me! He even took her to the ER and had her checked out and lied to cops and they reported me to Child Prtective Services!!! I didn't have her on 10/20/13 and have texts to prove me trying to get my daughter since 10/11/13 but I still haven't seen her! She doesn't bathe with her brothers, I never even change her clothes without panties on in front of my boys who are 10 and 11. even though they're my boys I just don't do that. my ex husand has never bathed my daughter. his girlfriend who has two small boys of her own that she takes awesome care of bathed my daughter when she spent the night there to visit my sons who live with their dad for now. I am also not in a violent relationship. I left my daughter's father because he beat me up for the last time.

All in all I don't know what to do. I have filed numerous visitation violation reports with the district attorney, got a few incident reports from the cops that he hasn't given me my daughter, told CPS about it (BTW, they found no safetly issue me having my daughter, they're writting a letter to the court in my favor) and I've texted, called and left voicemails to my daughter's father and nothing. he just refuses to bring her to exchanges. I miss her terribly and fear he's brainwashing her. I have always been civil with him despite him making my life hell for the past 2 years of not being with him, he does it for fun. What do you suggest I do? I have sooooooo much proof that he's keeping her from me, harrassment, lies, etc etc etc but the cops won't help much because I still haven't even had a glimpse of my daughter for over a month. he won't even tell me the name and address of her daycare.

Start here: http://www.courts.ca.gov/1188.htm

Regarding the bolded: what do you mean? I'm not sure if you followed the correct path to enforcement. See the link I posted for the correct path.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CALIFORNIA

My daughter's father and myself both have joint legal and physical custody of her. The court order states we have her weekly with a 10am exchange on mondays. I have not seen or talked to my daughter (who is only 3) since 10/5/2013. Her father has been making up excuses for me not to see her. he made up a rule that i have to give him a week notice to see her. He's had her most of the time since march because i needed to get back on my feet after a bump in the road. We verbally agreed on this and the court has even stated if we can agree verbally it's ok. (He got a chance to get back on his feet after I left him and I had our daughter full time to help him have that free time to get back on his feet). I have been having my daughter over and visiting her very often since march so it isn't like i just up and left and didn't have her in my life. I got back on my feet in october 2013 and only got to see my daughter 10/5/13. Her dad filed full custody papers on 10/25/13 stating that my daughter was with me on 10/20/13 and that she was touched on her privates by four boys, that she bathes with her adolecent brothers, that my ex husband bathes her and that im in a violent relationship. My daughter was not with me 10/20/13. I haven't seen or talked to her since 10/5/13 because he is keeping her from me! He even took her to the ER and had her checked out and lied to cops and they reported me to Child Prtective Services!!! I didn't have her on 10/20/13 and have texts to prove me trying to get my daughter since 10/11/13 but I still haven't seen her! She doesn't bathe with her brothers, I never even change her clothes without panties on in front of my boys who are 10 and 11. even though they're my boys I just don't do that. my ex husand has never bathed my daughter. his girlfriend who has two small boys of her own that she takes awesome care of bathed my daughter when she spent the night there to visit my sons who live with their dad for now. I am also not in a violent relationship. I left my daughter's father because he beat me up for the last time.

All in all I don't know what to do. I have filed numerous visitation violation reports with the district attorney, got a few incident reports from the cops that he hasn't given me my daughter, told CPS about it (BTW, they found no safetly issue me having my daughter, they're writting a letter to the court in my favor) and I've texted, called and left voicemails to my daughter's father and nothing. he just refuses to bring her to exchanges. I miss her terribly and fear he's brainwashing her. I have always been civil with him despite him making my life hell for the past 2 years of not being with him, he does it for fun. What do you suggest I do? I have sooooooo much proof that he's keeping her from me, harrassment, lies, etc etc etc but the cops won't help much because I still haven't even had a glimpse of my daughter for over a month. he won't even tell me the name and address of her daycare.

Mom, you really really really NEED an attorney. This is a convoluted mess with Dad filing for full custody, allegations of child abuse flitting about and CPS being involved; the entire situation is just too complex for you to handle on your own.

 

[avocado]

Attorney

Mom, you really really really NEED an attorney. This is a convoluted mess with Dad filing for full custody, allegations of child abuse flitting about and CPS being involved; the entire situation is just too complex for you to handle on your own.

I've tried to call for free attorneys because I don't have the money to hire one and even asked about making my daughter's father pay since he is committing perjury (and he's doing this for the 4th time) and he's withholding my daughter from me and now my name is involved with CPS only for his own selfish reasons to lie about me.... but the attorneys will charge me and then try to get him to pay me back. it is all a huge mess and this is all because I wouldn't take him back two years ago. He has tried this stunt before (alleging that my daughter has been molested, took her to the ER and called CPS) and I have proven him wrong in court before but he was never this brave to play the kidnapping game. =/

 

[Silverplum]

I've tried to call for free attorneys because I don't have the money to hire one and even asked about making my daughter's father pay since he is committing perjury (and he's doing this for the 4th time) and he's withholding my daughter from me and now my name is involved with CPS only for his own selfish reasons to lie about me.... but the attorneys will charge me and then try to get him to pay me back. it is all a huge mess and this is all because I wouldn't take him back two years ago. He has tried this stunt before (alleging that my daughter has been molested, took her to the ER and called CPS) and I have proven him wrong in court before but he was never this brave to play the kidnapping game. =/

Your statement that he is "committing perjury" is not going to be taken seriously in family court. Everyone claims that, so it's lost its verve.

If you can't afford an attorney, you can represent yourself. It takes a lot of studying and hard work: start at the link I gave you.

 

[avocado]

Hard Work

Your statement that he is "committing perjury" is not going to be taken seriously in family court. Everyone claims that, so it's lost its verve.

If you can't afford an attorney, you can represent yourself. It takes a lot of studying and hard work: start at the link I gave you.

I don't know why my replies to you aren't going through on this thread (grrr) but yes I realized that if I say he's lying in court, it will just go over the judges head. I have read a lot of sites that filing for that (I think it's in contempt with the court) that it could be very difficult and could probably backfire even though I am comfortable with saying he IS in fact lying and that I am not lying about anything in my response. All I have to do is (you're right) studying and hard work. I am working very hard gathering all my proof and educating myself on things involving this matter. It's very frustrating but I believe it will benefit me in the end. I just don't get why people have to be so vindictive and angry and just plain old LOVE to mess with others lives just for fun...... All I want to do is live my life happily without him and keep my daughter safe and happy as well.

 

[Silverplum]

I don't know why my replies to you aren't going through on this thread (grrr)

The "Preview Post" function EATS posts.

but yes I realized that if I say he's lying in court, it will just go over the judges head. I have read a lot of sites that filing for that (I think it's in contempt with the court) that it could be very difficult and could probably backfire even though I am comfortable with saying he IS in fact lying and that I am not lying about anything in my response. All I have to do is (you're right) studying and hard work. I am working very hard gathering all my proof and educating myself on things involving this matter. It's very frustrating but I believe it will benefit me in the end. I just don't get why people have to be so vindictive and angry and just plain old LOVE to mess with others lives just for fun...... All I want to do is live my life happily without him and keep my daughter safe and happy as well.

You can just reply point-by-point, politely, and state that point A is not true, point B is not true, etc.

 

[avocado]

The "Preview Post" function EATS posts.


You can just reply point-by-point, politely, and state that point A is not true, point B is not true, etc.

I will remain calm and collected =)

 

[avocado]

A Step Forward

I got an Ex Parte hearing for Tuesday to address the visitation violation on his part. I hope it goes well with all the evidence I have on that and the 10/20/13 issue

 

[longislandguy]

Please come back after the hearing and tell us what happen. I believe there is more to this story, its unusual for a mother to leave their child for 7 months, you basically gave him full custody for 7 months and ive seen 6 months used as status quo ALOT.

I'm interested to hear the judges take on this.

 

[avocado]

It's been 7 months because I was renting a room she couldn't stay in on a regular basis. I had her over quite a lot actually but with searching for a job and trying to get into a different place to stay so i can have her back with me half the time that's why it took so long. I've never had any bumps in my road until 7 months ago. I've always been the bread winner, the one who had the multiple jobs, going to school and taking care of my kids at the same time. Things happen. He needed time to get back on his feet but since his family is well off, his bounce back was much easier because he didn't have to pay rent, bills and got a free car. At least I had her over a lot and visit her, when he so called broke his arm he didn't call her out even try to see her for even 5 minutes... He disappeared for months and wouldn't even have her over night for me to graduate college Larry year. It's definitely unusual for ME to have any bumps in my road but it happened and I fixed it. She still saw me a lot and still wants to be with me more than him.

 

[avocado]

I will come back with am update though

 

[Zigner]

Have you properly notified the father of the ex-parte hearing?

Further, don't expect anything to happen at the ex-parte except to be told that you need to follow the correct steps to schedule a hearing as this is not an emergency.

 

[single317dad]

Have you properly notified the father of the ex-parte hearing?

Why would she do that?

http://thelawdictionary.org/ex-parte/

Further, don't expect anything to happen at the ex-parte except to be told that you need to follow the correct steps to schedule a hearing as this is not an emergency.

That part we can agree on; OP will likely be instructed to retain counsel if she doesn't understand how to properly petition the court, unless the judge is kind enough to schedule a show cause hearing on his own.

 

[Zigner]

Why would she do that?...

Because that's how we roll in CA

ETA: I used the search terms California family law ex parte notice and it came up with several attorney sites. I don't feel proper linking to them directly, so go ahead and run the search yourself to review.