Visitation Guidelines

[kymmie65]

What is the name of your state? MT I am concerened about my 5 year old son, He has never spent longer than a week away from home. I am the custodial parent and his father has 3 months visitation in the summer and two weeks at Thanksgiving. He has visited his father before, I live in Montana and his father lives in Ia (2000 miles)but only for a week at a time. Here is the problem, his father agreed with me that he is to young yet to do the 3 months at a time, he agreed to meet me halfway to get him and then return him halfway again in two weeks. After he took our son home he called and informed me he would not be returning him until the end of August. Our son has been gone over two weeks now. I am very frustrated because I call and call and call and can never reach them. It has been a week now since I have spoken to our son and I just cant see how this is all "beneficial to his well being". I know legally there is nothing I can do since it is in the divorce papers, however isnt there some kind of visitation guidelines for the non custodial parent to follow? I think it is bad enough that he is making house with a woman I or our son doenst know and the fact that his father is a truck driver and is gone all the time and leaves him in her care. I thought visitation was just that visitation. If someone can give some advice I would appreciate it. The divorce was in South Dakota so I know that has a bearing on laws. Thanks

 

[nextwife]

WHAT does the divorce decree or custody order grant him - EXACTLY? Not what do YOU think he should get, but what the court ORDERED that he gets?

 

[kymmie65]

He gets 3 months in the summer and 2 weeks at Thanksgiving. Also, reasonable visitation any other time.

 

[nextwife]

Then you and he are required to comply with the court order. He is entitled to spend his court ordered time with his child, regardless of who he designates to babysit.

Just out of curiousity- is dad given such large chunks of time because of a moveaway and he cannot see the child EOW and during the week? Who moved?

 

[kymmie65]

Yes that is the reason. I moved away when our son was 10 months old. I have no problem with visitation, my problem lies with him taking our son and trying to erase me. It has to be scary enough leaving to go with someone you do not know and then never being able to talk with your mother on a regular basis has to be even rougher. My question is simply are there any guidelines that the non custodial parent has to follow when having the child visit. It seems that the laws give the parents the rights they deserve, however the welfare of the child is not always met, thier feelings, fears, seperation anxiety etc. That is my concern regarding our child. I want him to know his father, but on the other hand you cant wipe all normalicy out in a click of the fingers and expect him to be "okay".

 

[nextwife]

If the court order calls for phone contact during dad's period of possession, then failure to comply would be contempt.

As you created such a large distance, other than spending extended blocks of time with dad, HOW do YOU expect him and child to get the time they have a right to spend with each other? The long distance move made EOW and one night a week impossible.

 

[nextwife]

Yes that is the reason. I moved away when our son was 10 months old. I have no problem with visitation, my problem lies with him taking our son and trying to erase me.

What would you like him to do during his possession period? Was anything addressed in the CO?

 

[kymmie65]

I dont know why you keep assuming I have a problem with visitation. I DONT. I was again SIMPLY WONDERING if there were any visitation guidelines. I am assuming you do not know, however maybe someone else does. Thank you for your time tho.

 

[haiku]

your visitation guideliens are there right in front of you.

if phone contact is not outlined, Dad is not obligated to keep you in contact during his times of posession.

 

[carbro]

Yes that is the reason. I moved away when our son was 10 months old. I have no problem with visitation, my problem lies with him taking our son and trying to erase me. It has to be scary enough leaving to go with someone you do not know and then never being able to talk with your mother on a regular basis has to be even rougher. My question is simply are there any guidelines that the non custodial parent has to follow when having the child visit. It seems that the laws give the parents the rights they deserve, however the welfare of the child is not always met, thier feelings, fears, seperation anxiety etc. That is my concern regarding our child. I want him to know his father, but on the other hand you cant wipe all normalicy out in a click of the fingers and expect him to be "okay".

Can I ask why you would move away and take his son away from the father?

 

[carbro]

If the court order calls for phone contact during dad's period of possession, then failure to comply would be contempt.

As you created such a large distance, other than spending extended blocks of time with dad, HOW do YOU expect him and child to get the time they have a right to spend with each other? The long distance move made EOW and one night a week impossible.

Amen!

I don't understand people. When you bring a child into this world, your selfish ways are gone.


carbro

 

[NotSoNew]

I have no problem with visitation, my problem lies with him taking our son and trying to erase me.

i like this part. what, exactly did you think you were doing to dad when you moved 2000 miles away from him and he now only gets to see his child during the summer and 2 weeks at thanksgiving, and YOU feel YOU are being erased? personally dad is probably sick of trying to comply with your every demand and feels you are being very overbearing (because I feel that way and I dont even know you). dad has his right to the three months, he doesnt HAVE to do anything thats not in your court order. just like i am sure the other 9 months out of the year you do whatever you want. perhaps if you hadnt of moved so far, and your child actually got to see his father on a regular basis he wouldn't have to be "traumatized" by spending three whole months there at once. perhaps if you are so worried about your son you should move closer to dad.

 

[tigger22472]

your visitation guideliens are there right in front of you.

if phone contact is not outlined, Dad is not obligated to keep you in contact during his times of posession.

Actually her COURT ORDER is in front of her.

What many (not you haiku) is that things like child support guidelines and visitation guidelines are EXACTLY that.. just kind of a starting point and judges do not have to follow those

 

[haiku]

Actually her COURT ORDER is in front of her.

What many (not you haiku) is that things like child support guidelines and visitation guidelines are EXACTLY that.. just kind of a starting point and judges do not have to follow those

Thanks Tig, cuz thats what I meant. her court order is what she needs to use. i should have been more specific.

stateguidelines are just that, a starting point. What is in your personal court order is what clarifies the guidelines even further.

 

[tigger22472]

Thanks Tig, cuz thats what I meant. her court order is what she needs to use. i should have been more specific.

stateguidelines are just that, a starting point. What is in your personal court order is what clarifies the guidelines even further.

Unless it's like here in Indiana where 99% of the orders just simply state to follow the Indiana parenting time guidelines (not that YOU need clairification but for others, once that is in the order and signed by a judge, that is now your order). In fact I have had people have a lawyer tell them that they HAVE to go by that and cannot produce their own parenting plan.... that's just lazy lawyering... (and that was confirmed to them by another)