visitation with stepmom??

[luckymom]

Wow. Gotta love this forum and people's willingness to always attribute the worst possible motives to people. My orders specify that I send her to a specific airport, DFW. I'm willing to send her to SF to visit dad, which I don't think I'm required to do, because I think she needs to spend time with dad.

Here's the backstory: dd and dad have difficult relationship. After stepmom moved to SF last August, he basically told DD she didn't have to come to visit. This was phrased as "you are so busy, you don't have to come." And DD was busy with college applications, etc, but she also felt that dad didn't want to spend time with her without the "help" of stepmom. At this point, she hasn't seen dad since September and has spoken to him maybe once a month. My e-mails to him about her recent achievements, national merit finalist, scholarship to ivy league school have not prompted an e-mail or call. When "her" horse died last October, he texted her, and when she read it at lunch time at school, she literally became ill. I want her to see her dad. It disheartens me that after ten years of flying her monthly to Texas there relationship is so fragile.

 

[luckymom]

P.S. to the nasty person who said I want dad to pay 1/2 daughters Ivy League education. Can you actually read, or do you just prefer to make up the fact as you go along? I said explicitly that DD has a scholarship that covers all her tuition. I'm asking dad to make some contribution to room and board and books. And as I also pointed out, under my state's laws NCPs can be required to contribute. So it is a LEGAL issue. I think that is what this forum is about.

 

[Ohiogal]

P.S. to the nasty person who said I want dad to pay 1/2 daughters Ivy League education. Can you actually read, or do you just prefer to make up the fact as you go along? I said explicitly that DD has a scholarship that covers all her tuition. I'm asking dad to make some contribution to room and board and books. And as I also pointed out, under my state's laws NCPs can be required to contribute. So it is a LEGAL issue. I think that is what this forum is about.

a) It was misreading.
b) did you read the responses in that thread where questions were asked?
c) Grow a thicker skin. NO one has insulted you or blasted you. All that has been done is that you were given food for thought. Sorry you don't happen to like your veggies that have been served.

 

[usndds]

Wow. Gotta love this forum and people's willingness to always attribute the worst possible motives to people. My orders specify that I send her to a specific airport, DFW. I'm willing to send her to SF to visit dad, which I don't think I'm required to do, because I think she needs to spend time with dad.

Here's the backstory: dd and dad have difficult relationship. After stepmom moved to SF last August, he basically told DD she didn't have to come to visit. This was phrased as "you are so busy, you don't have to come." And DD was busy with college applications, etc, but she also felt that dad didn't want to spend time with her without the "help" of stepmom. At this point, she hasn't seen dad since September and has spoken to him maybe once a month. My e-mails to him about her recent achievements, national merit finalist, scholarship to ivy league school have not prompted an e-mail or call. When "her" horse died last October, he texted her, and when she read it at lunch time at school, she literally became ill. I want her to see her dad. It disheartens me that after ten years of flying her monthly to Texas there relationship is so fragile.

I've got an idea...purchase a ticket with a layover in TX..then you will be sending her to TX, if that makes you feel better.

Legally, you don't have to send your child to CA if it specifically states TX. Logically speaking, and if you're not simply trying to make Dad mad, you should probably send her to CA. What Dad decides to do with HIS daughter on HIS time is HIS choice.

Otherwise, you can send her to TX...just to have Dad send her to CA...either way, Dad "wins"...you just wasted about $150 for him, if that makes you feel any better...not an Ivy level thing to do...in my humble opinion

 

[usndds]

PS: you do sound like a very caring mother who wants the best for her child...and that is wonderful...but I personally don't you think you should try to stir the pot if there are already tensions between the two households...this TX thing just seems like a good way to add to the tension...and I don't think you're daughter needs that right now (or any time in her life)...especially if daughter and Dad have tensions of their own...do what's best for your daughter, send her to CA