voice Recorded mental child abuse question.

[candi4687]

I am CP living in KY. The NCP lives in AL but jurisdiction is in TN. Crazy situation.
OK I know I have taken hits on here and in my life because hardly anyone believes the things that happen in my life. I have now started recording conversations with the NCP. Lets just say that I have it with him admitting to being hours late for the children exchange. I even have it where he is trying to have it where both of our children are to be inspected by a doctor each month to assure himself that they are not being molested. He has not shown up for a visit since MAR 11 05 in which they stayed with his mother the entire time. It was in Jan (Have to look at documentation for exact date) that he actually kept the children with him for his visitation.

The concerns I currently have is what he has stated to our daughter while the recorder was recording. He told her that he can't make it there to pick them up on time because he works late to make money to pay me child support. He also stated that "your mommy wants to keep sending daddy to jail for any reason she can." He then told her to not worry about seeing him or their baby brother (His and his new wife's baby). He claims since I always find a reason to bitch he will just stop seeing them. Our daughter is bawling at this point and he just tells her that he loves her but she can't ever see him or their brother again but they can call him if they ever want to. I then ask him what he had said to make her cry and he claimed nothing as if I did not know.

Just for you all to know.... I have over heard him telling our daughter he would kill himself before actually attempting suicide so this is my reasoning behind this recording. I did not start the recording until I saw her crying but I did get the conversation recorded. Can I use this to help keep our two children from having to hear these kinds of things again? Can I even use this evidence at all? Is this not a form of mental abuse in some form?

Please help me on this one. I can't see our daughter go through this pain anymore!! ANY advice is appreciated.
THANKS

 

[burnish66]

Try this route

State: Indiana
If applicable in your state, you could consider filing a petition for an injunctive order, specifying that the father be prohibited discussing your conduct in front of the children, except in a positive manner. I'm not an attorney but I am a father who is going through alot and have been educating myself as much as possible concerning these type of issues. Hope it helps, Joe

 

[candi4687]

It is already stated in our divorce decree that neither parent shall say anything about the other parent, especially to cause problems between the child and said parent.
He does not care about any order. Nor our children as far as to what he has shown me.

 

[stealth2]

Unless you're recording your own conversations with your ex, you do realize that what you're doing is illegal, right? Although all three states (and TN is moot) are one party, that does NOT include taping calls that you are not a party to.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

State: Indiana
If applicable in your state, you could consider filing a petition for an injunctive order, specifying that the father be prohibited discussing your conduct in front of the children, except in a positive manner. I'm not an attorney but I am a father who is going through alot and have been educating myself as much as possible concerning these type of issues. Hope it helps, Joe

Next time read the entire post before giving advice that is both worthless and not on point.

The recordings are illegal and not admissible as evidence in any court. First, although all three states are one-party which means any person who is a party to the conversation may give permission to it's being recorded, because the call was made across state lines, then The Electronic Communications Privacy Act takes precident and it can be found here.

Second, no one knows the age of the child therefore there is no way of knowing if the child is old enough to give informed consent.

This recording will NOT be admitted into evidence and therefore the filing stands on its own.

 

[candi4687]

Well that's just the thing of it, I am a party to it. I am talking to him also on the recordings. I am just unsure if I could consent to it for our children.
Look he says terrible things to our daughter. No one will take my word for it so therefore I recorded a few statements from him. You can't tell me that this emotional pain he is putting our children through is justified because I can't prove it without this recording.
Maybe someone can give me advice on what I could do or say to our children when he tells them he wont ever see them again or allow them to see their brother.
Our daughter is six years old and he just keeps breaking her heart and I am tired of sitting on the side with no way to protect her from the things he says and the actions he takes. THIS IS NOT RIGHT. Am I in the wrong... I don't know that's why I am here. But him.... how can you sit there and tell a child that thinks the world of you that you don't ever want to see them again because their mom is a bitch??
See it's not bad enough that he says this but he is telling her that it is all my fault.

Just someone... Is this illegal what I am doing... ??? How can I help our children if so???

 

[snostar]

Just someone... Is this illegal what I am doing... ??? How can I help our children if so???

Yes, and ONLY a judge can determine if the child is mature enough give informed consent.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Well that's just the thing of it, I am a party to it. I am talking to him also on the recordings.

Not according to your post.
The concerns I currently have is what he has stated to our daughter while the recorder was recording.
Remember that statment?

I am just unsure if I could consent to it for our children.

No, you may not. Only the child can consent and that depends on a plethera of factors.

Look he says terrible things to our daughter. No one will take my word for it so therefore I recorded a few statements from him.

And the moment you took the phone from the daughter or turned on the recorder without informed consent, you broke the law.

You can't tell me that this emotional pain he is putting our children through is justified because I can't prove it without this recording.

I can and I did.

Maybe someone can give me advice on what I could do or say to our children when he tells them he wont ever see them again or allow them to see their brother.

Well, one thing I can tell you is stop breaking the law.

Our daughter is six years old and he just keeps breaking her heart and I am tired of sitting on the side with no way to protect her from the things he says and the actions he takes.

so? Go to www.drphil.com. This is NOT a touchy-feely site, It's a LAW site.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT. Am I in the wrong... I don't know that's why I am here.

That's easy. You're here so that someone can tell you that what you are doing is fine and dandy. But it's not.

But him.... how can you sit there and tell a child that thinks the world of you that you don't ever want to see them again because their mom is a bitch??

Because 1. you ARE a bitch or 2. he's an idiot. So far you have not stated one thing he is doing that is illegal or actionable. It's called divorce. Get used to it.

See it's not bad enough that he says this but he is telling her that it is all my fault.

So what?

Just someone... Is this illegal what I am doing... ??? How can I help our children if so???

you have already been told it is. Now, would you like a second opinion?

O.K. it is not legal and you are going to find yourself in a world of hurt over it. So, how did you like that opinion?

 

[snostar]

you have already been told it is not.

Wanna correct this?

 

[Zephyr]

if your main concern is your child not hearing that sort of crap from her dad, tell him as soon as the call starts that because daughter has been so upset after past phone calls with him you will now be recording all calls, say that at the beginning of each call, make sure it is on the tape. He may never say another bad thing again- and that is the point....right?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

if your main concern is your child not hearing that sort of crap from her dad, tell him as soon as the call starts that because daughter has been so upset after past phone calls with him you will now be recording all calls, say that at the beginning of each call, make sure it is on the tape. He may never say another bad thing again- and that is the point....right?

WILL YOU READ THE DAMN POST. She cannot LEGALLY record her child's conversations with the father.

DAMN IT PEOPLE, get it right for a frikkin' change.

 

[candi4687]

I am a bitch because I am tired of seeing our daughter hearing these aweful things? For once put yourself in this child's shoes. How would YOU feel being six years old and having YOUR daddy tell you that you can never see him nor your brother again. THINK ABOUT THAT!
She is six years old and I have tried to explain to her that he is just angry at me and that he does love her although his actions do not show it. She is an emotional wreck over this mess and our "DIVORCE" was in 2002 and he is still playing games. I am sorry but you can assume I am a Bitch ALL you want. I am just here to get advice on this and try to find some sort of way to help stop this or atleast help our kids deal with this mess. NO DADDY SHOULD EVER TELL A CHILD THAT THEY WONT GET TO SEE HIM AGAIN. Much less to point his finger to me as the reason behind it.
He sit there and plainly told her that I just want to keep him locked up in jail. How does that make me seem to her??? Sorry I care so much about our daughters feelings!!

 

[Zephyr]

ok BB I get it

candi does your court order require you to allow phone calls?

 

[candi4687]

Yes...
It states in divorce papers.....

Mother and Father will behave with respect to each other and the children so as to provide a loving, stable, consistent and nurturing relationship with the children even though they, themselves, are being divorced. Mother and Father agree they will not speak badly of each other or the members of the family of the other parent. They will encourage the children to continue to love the other parent and be comfortable in both new families.

also has Standard Parenting Orders;....
Both parents are entitled to the following rights:
1. Unimpeded telephone conversations with the children at least twice each week at reasonable times and for a reasonable duration;

6. To be free of derogatory remarks made about such such parent or such parent's family by the other parent to or in the presence of the children.


*Note: I am the one who made this call for our children because they wanted to talk to their dad for a few minutes. I am the one trying to keep their relationship together. On the other hand if this is what will be happening when I do let them call then this will stop on my end. I say this because he will not call here to talk to them. It always has to be on my time and money that the children get to talk to their dad. I am just doing my part to keep them in his life. Bad thing is I am not sure that this is the best thing for them if this is the level he has came to.

 

[Zephyr]

easy enough then, don't make the calls anymore, he has the right to call the kids but if he won't, that's on him.