Want to move out of Connecticut

[LdiJ]

I am the original poster, but under a new name because the log on kept telling me I had an error or whatever. Working on fixing it. But it is about a 90 mile difference. The visitation schedule can stay the same, except maybe alter a little differently because it is about an hour plus some driving distance she wouldn't be home until like 8:30 or 9 on the week days. So maybe cut it down for one day during the week and offer one extra day on his off weekends. Do you really think a judge wouldn't have a problem with this? I appreciate your help, and can't wait to hear what you have to say!

Well, 90 miles is further than I expected. Distance and ability to maintain a regular visitation schedule is very significant in a "move away" case. If you have options that would allow less distance then it would be better. However you still aren't contemplating moving far enough to make it impossible to move. However you do need to be thinking about the long term future as well.

Your daughter is only one now so you don't have to deal with the issue of school. However in just a few years that will make visitation options more limited.

 

[rpowers2380]

Well, 90 miles is further than I expected. Distance and ability to maintain a regular visitation schedule is very significant in a "move away" case. If you have options that would allow less distance then it would be better. However you still aren't contemplating moving far enough to make it impossible to move. However you do need to be thinking about the long term future as well.

Your daughter is only one now so you don't have to deal with the issue of school. However in just a few years that will make visitation options more limited.

You placed a good point. School will definately make things a little more complicated. I am thinking of moving a little closer to the CT border. The 90 miles came from the town where I was offered a job. So the mileage is probably closer to 65-70 rather than the 90. It may be less, but I am not 100% sure.

 

[haiku]

thanks for your help! At least you know the area, and know what it takes to leave the state because you have been through it! Did ur ex give in, or did the judge approve of it? At least it will give me an idea, that is if you don't mind me asking!

well to give you an idea, I wanted to move just 35 miles over the border, and I still needed to go through mediation.

I petitioned the court to move and change the visitation. connecticut requires you to go to mediation before you even see a court room.

Mediation can be a very intimidating process, they want you to come to an agreement, ANY agreement, as quickly as possible, and you can feel 'bullied". You will feel less so, if you know about it beforehand.

You have to know exactly what you want, but know what you will settle for. because just as you want "it all" s doesn't your ex. And also know, that mediation can take as long as it takes, you don't have to agree the very first time, though they will try to make you.

As both me and my ex were told-"Ct. puts kids on airplanes ALL the time, but for it to happen, that parent has to cooperate with the other parent." in other words, the parent wanting to move the child, even a short distance has to be willing to bend a bit to the other parents wishes.

because your child is young it gives you lots of room for visitation because the child is not hindered by a school schedule.

my kiddo was 6 months old when we hammered out our agreement. I also had midweek visits and every other weekend overnights. that worked around my ex's work schedule. we also reworked holidays, and did a vacation schedule of 1 week in winter and 2 weeks in summer... it was to be revisited when the kiddo began kindergarten.

We split the driving, even though my ex was adament I get it all. I countered that midweek driving was alot for me, and we ended up splitting it.

If your relationship with your ex is "good" your first step is really discussing what you want with him first and seeing if you can modify it TOGETHER how you want without even having to go through any modification 'fighting".

 

[rpowers2380]

well to give you an idea, I wanted to move just 35 miles over the border, and I still needed to go through mediation.

I petitioned the court to move and change the visitation. connecticut requires you to go to mediation before you even see a court room.

Mediation can be a very intimidating process, they want you to come to an agreement, ANY agreement, as quickly as possible, and you can feel 'bullied". You will feel less so, if you know about it beforehand.

You have to know exactly what you want, but know what you will settle for. because just as you want "it all" s doesn't your ex. And also know, that mediation can take as long as it takes, you don't have to agree the very first time, though they will try to make you.

As both me and my ex were told-"Ct. puts kids on airplanes ALL the time, but for it to happen, that parent has to cooperate with the other parent." in other words, the parent wanting to move the child, even a short distance has to be willing to bend a bit to the other parents wishes.

because your child is young it gives you lots of room for visitation because the child is not hindered by a school schedule.

my kiddo was 6 months old when we hammered out our agreement. I also had midweek visits and every other weekend overnights. that worked around my ex's work schedule. we also reworked holidays, and did a vacation schedule of 1 week in winter and 2 weeks in summer... it was to be revisited when the kiddo began kindergarten.

We split the driving, even though my ex was adament I get it all. I countered that midweek driving was alot for me, and we ended up splitting it.

If your relationship with your ex is "good" your first step is really discussing what you want with him first and seeing if you can modify it TOGETHER how you want without even having to go through any modification 'fighting".

I went through mediation for almost three months with my ex. I am somewhat familure with the process! My mediator is really nice, so I sort of like going to talk to her. How did your kiddo take to going away from you for a whole week and two weeks in the summer? Also, my ex doesn't get a vacation schedule now because he can't have her by himself, would that probably change if I moved her? I don't understand why it would if he sees her the time he does now. He never asks to see her more. My relationship w/my ex sucks b/c he likes to make my life miserable. It mainly comes down to because I won't go back with him. I learned a lot of things about him after I had my daughter, and I could never trust him again. So us agreeing before it gets to court, is highly unlikely.