Virginia (Fairfax county)
Separating from domestic partner of 15 years. We have a child together (I am the birth mother) and she wants some legal standing in his life. I do not object to that in principal, and for many/most fundamental things (medical attn, right to sign off on report cards, etc) I am willing to go the route of some legal order to give her some official standing; right now in VA, she has none whatever.
However, I understand that if I agree to legal guardianship or even a joint custodial order, that effectively elevates her to full parent status. I do not wish to do this b/c of crazy family members on her side (if she were to die I could be doing battle with them over custody of my son), and also because of her own proven track record (years) of disengagement, mental illness, occasional incapacitation. I don't fear for the health or well-being of my son while in her care -- for the most part. But I don't feel comfortable with losing my 51% stake in reasoned decision-making on his behalf either.
Are there some legal vehicles/contracts which will provide some degree of authority for her, as the 'third party with a legitimate interest?' Agreements we could engage that will protect her as someone substantive in his life, but not relinquish my rights as the birth mother?
Separating from domestic partner of 15 years. We have a child together (I am the birth mother) and she wants some legal standing in his life. I do not object to that in principal, and for many/most fundamental things (medical attn, right to sign off on report cards, etc) I am willing to go the route of some legal order to give her some official standing; right now in VA, she has none whatever.
However, I understand that if I agree to legal guardianship or even a joint custodial order, that effectively elevates her to full parent status. I do not wish to do this b/c of crazy family members on her side (if she were to die I could be doing battle with them over custody of my son), and also because of her own proven track record (years) of disengagement, mental illness, occasional incapacitation. I don't fear for the health or well-being of my son while in her care -- for the most part. But I don't feel comfortable with losing my 51% stake in reasoned decision-making on his behalf either.
Are there some legal vehicles/contracts which will provide some degree of authority for her, as the 'third party with a legitimate interest?' Agreements we could engage that will protect her as someone substantive in his life, but not relinquish my rights as the birth mother?
