What are my rights?

[KCneedshelp]

What is the name of your state? California:
confused:

Im not sure what rights I have. I have been informed that I am going to be a father. i am requesting a prenatal DNA test so I can be sure. The mothers family is already threatning me stating I wont get anything and i have no rights. I feel the baby will be better off primarily living with me due to the fact that the mother is 19,on state disability for Bi polar disorder, has no job and no stable place to live. I do not want to try to take full custody just primary. I am 25, US Navy 6 years in, house, good income. I feel at this time I would be better suited to be the primary custodial parent. I have tried to talk sensilbly to her but her family has done a good job of convincing her that all i want is to take the baby from her. What do I do??What is the name of your state?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? California:
confused:

Im not sure what rights I have. I have been informed that I am going to be a father. i am requesting a prenatal DNA test so I can be sure. The mothers family is already threatning me stating I wont get anything and i have no rights. I feel the baby will be better off primarily living with me due to the fact that the mother is 19,on state disability for Bi polar disorder, has no job and no stable place to live. I do not want to try to take full custody just primary. I am 25, US Navy 6 years in, house, good income. I feel at this time I would be better suited to be the primary custodial parent. I have tried to talk sensilbly to her but her family has done a good job of convincing her that all i want is to take the baby from her. What do I do??What is the name of your state?

First, give up on the prenatal DNA test. Its not going to happen. In fact, most doctors will refuse to perform the test unless amnio is medically necessary for other reasons. Its dangerous for the child. You are going to have to file for paternity and a DNA test after the child is born.

I have heard of some new forms of pre-natal DNA testing, but my understanding is that they are experimental and not widely accepted.

The fact that you are 25, have your own home, a good income and a steady job and mom is 19, lives with her parents and does not work, is irrelevant. In fact, multigenerational households are considered to be extra stable, because of the support system available. Judges cannot base custody decisions on those issues. Mom's bipolarism could be relevant, but only if she is not controlling the condition properly....and experts AGREE that she is not controlling it properly.

If you are subject to deployment then that would hurt your case.

The reality of things is that in an unwed situation its virtually impossible to take primary custody away from the mother unless you can prove with hard, cold evidence, that the mother is legally unfit.

I would also like to point out that you made the choice to be sexually involved with a 19 year old with a bipolar condition. While you can't get in any trouble because she is a legal adult...its also possible that a judge might view you less than sympathetically due to the age difference. Six years is a pretty significant gap at your respective ages. That may end up being totally irrelevant...but keep it in the back of your mind so that you are prepared to deal with it if it arises. However you really should NOT emphasize her age.

You will be almost guaranteed to recieve joint legal custody (joint decision making) and a parenting plan that starts out in phases and could work its way up to a true 50/50 timeshare (assuming that you aren't subject to deployment).

 

[ceara19]

What is the name of your state? California:
confused:

Im not sure what rights I have. I have been informed that I am going to be a father. i am requesting a prenatal DNA test so I can be sure. The mothers family is already threatning me stating I wont get anything and i have no rights. I feel the baby will be better off primarily living with me due to the fact that the mother is 19,on state disability for Bi polar disorder, has no job and no stable place to live. I do not want to try to take full custody just primary. I am 25, US Navy 6 years in, house, good income. I feel at this time I would be better suited to be the primary custodial parent. I have tried to talk sensilbly to her but her family has done a good job of convincing her that all i want is to take the baby from her. What do I do??What is the name of your state?

You are NEVER going to get a court order for PRENATAL paternity testing. Your chances of getting primary placement are also very slim without solid PROOF that the mother is a DANGER to the child.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? California:
confused:

Im not sure what rights I have. I have been informed that I am going to be a father. i am requesting a prenatal DNA test so I can be sure. The mothers family is already threatning me stating I wont get anything and i have no rights. I feel the baby will be better off primarily living with me due to the fact that the mother is 19,on state disability for Bi polar disorder, has no job and no stable place to live. I do not want to try to take full custody just primary. I am 25, US Navy 6 years in, house, good income. I feel at this time I would be better suited to be the primary custodial parent. I have tried to talk sensilbly to her but her family has done a good job of convincing her that all i want is to take the baby from her. What do I do??What is the name of your state?

I agree with both the above posters...and would like to add that legally an unwed mother in CA already has Physical Custody when the child is born. CA favors Joint Legal Custody, which you will most certainly receive (after establishing Paternity & Filing for Custody/Visitation).

And I'd like to emphasize that focusing on Mom's bi-polar issue & age only makes you look reckless. Her living with her parents will only help her since that provides substantial support network for the baby.

 

[KCneedshelp]

She does not live with her parents, she lives with her friend who is her Payee. Thank you all for your help. i guess dads get a pretty bum end of the deal. I hope we can work something out mutually but it does not seem to be the case. thanks again

 

[stealth2]

the mother is 19,on state disability for Bi polar disorder, has no job and no stable place to live.

So what is YOUR excuse for choosing her to be the potential mother to your child? (THat's what you did when you had sex with her.)

 

[casa]

She does not live with her parents, she lives with her friend who is her Payee. Thank you all for your help. i guess dads get a pretty bum end of the deal. I hope we can work something out mutually but it does not seem to be the case. thanks again

CA is actually very progressive re; Father's Rights...It's just that until you establish (via Paternity/DNA) that you ARE the father, then you are a legal stranger.

You decided to have unprotected sex with a teenage girl outside of marriage & THAT is what is hampering your custody. If you had been married, you'd already have Joint Legal AND Physical Custody.

Please follow through with establishing Paternity & Filing for Custody/Visitation Order, otherwise you'll be one of those 'fathers' who does nothing to protect himself FIRST....and then complains later that father's have it bad.