What can she get?

[chip_farquar]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WA

I have been married seven and a half years to a woman who has never really worked a day in her life. When we got together, she had zero assets, zero income, and a few grand in debt. I had a job, and $600k in assets. She has started an affair with another man and will be divorcing me soon.

We have two kids.

I offered mediation to save money on the divorce and she told me what her expectations were.

She wants the house ($400k in equity), but wants me to pay the mortgage ($3k/mo), She also wants her new car, but wants me to pay the lease ($900/mo)

She also wants half of what I made this year (like $350k) every year for the next dozen years. (till the kids are 18).

On top of that she wants child support (which i think is like $2k/mo)

So her "going in" position is she wants $200k up front and around $20k/mo for 12 years.... basically she wants THREE MILLION DOLLARS?!?!?

Is she nuts?

Could a court really order such alimony?

I was thinking this:

we sell the house, she gets half of the proceeds.
she pays for her own car lease, or we return it and get it off the books.
i get half the contents of the house.
i pay $2k/mo in child support
i pay her $10k/mo for three or four years.

Am I nuts?

Help!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WA

I have been married seven and a half years to a woman who has never really worked a day in her life. When we got together, she had zero assets, zero income, and a few grand in debt. I had a job, and $600k in assets. She has started an affair with another man and will be divorcing me soon.

We have two kids.

I offered mediation to save money on the divorce and she told me what her expectations were.

She wants the house ($400k in equity), but wants me to pay the mortgage ($3k/mo), She also wants her new car, but wants me to pay the lease ($900/mo)

She also wants half of what I made this year (like $350k) every year for the next dozen years. (till the kids are 18).

On top of that she wants child support (which i think is like $2k/mo)

So her "going in" position is she wants $200k up front and around $20k/mo for 12 years.... basically she wants THREE MILLION DOLLARS?!?!?

Is she nuts?

Could a court really order such alimony?

I was thinking this:

we sell the house, she gets half of the proceeds.
she pays for her own car lease, or we return it and get it off the books.
i get half the contents of the house.
i pay $2k/mo in child support
i pay her $10k/mo for three or four years.

Am I nuts?

Help!

Your proposal is much closer to reality, in some respects, to hers and further away from reality in others.

I am unclear on how much income you have, but I am assuming around 700k per year? (you said half was 350k) Your child support is going to be MUCH greater than the 2k per month that you are proposing. It could be as much as 14k per month for child support. Child support for two children, on the average is about 23-24% of your gross income. You may be able to push it a little lower than that, but it is what it is.

Alimony on the other hand, for such a short term marriage, could likely be considerably lower than you are proposing, if alimony were to be ordered at all. It certainly isn't guaranteed for such a short term marriage and when child support is likely to be so high.

If you purchased the house during the marriage then yes, she would get half of the proceeds when you sell it. (and that is the more sensible thing to do) She would also be entitled to 1/2 of any other assets that accrued during the marriage and responsible for 1/2 of any outstanding debt that accrued during the marriage.

If she keeps the car she should pay the lease herself.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WA

I have been married seven and a half years to a woman who has never really worked a day in her life. When we got together, she had zero assets, zero income, and a few grand in debt. I had a job, and $600k in assets. She has started an affair with another man and will be divorcing me soon.

We have two kids.

I offered mediation to save money on the divorce and she told me what her expectations were.

She wants the house ($400k in equity), but wants me to pay the mortgage ($3k/mo), She also wants her new car, but wants me to pay the lease ($900/mo)

She also wants half of what I made this year (like $350k) every year for the next dozen years. (till the kids are 18).

On top of that she wants child support (which i think is like $2k/mo)

So her "going in" position is she wants $200k up front and around $20k/mo for 12 years.... basically she wants THREE MILLION DOLLARS?!?!?

Is she nuts?

If she's seriously expecting this? I'm not sure whether "nuts", "delusional" or "laughing at her so hard I can't even think of another term" would be more appropriate.

Could a court really order such alimony?

Technically yes. Is it likely? I don't believe so - but as you seem to have a lot at stake here you absolutely NEED an attorney. Yesterday.

I was thinking this:

we sell the house, she gets half of the proceeds.
she pays for her own car lease, or we return it and get it off the books.
i get half the contents of the house.
i pay $2k/mo in child support
i pay her $10k/mo for three or four years.

Am I nuts?

Help!

You didn't list your salary - this is going to be important. It will directly affect how much child support you will be obligated to pay (assuming she gets residential custody - is that already agreed?).

I'm not seeing any reason why she needs $10k/month for three or four years from you - is she disabled? Unable to work?

You need to get your financial details together and see an attorney very quickly. While I think it's admirable that you're willing to negotiate with her, you do not have a long-term marriage and frankly should not be expected to provide $10k/month for any length of time.


Get thee to an attorney. Now.

(one other thing - why is she expecting to be supported for 12 more years...after a 7 year marriage?!)

 

[Proserpina]

WA state child support calculator - plug in your numbers and see what happens:

http://www.courts.wa.gov/ssgen/

 

[Proserpina]

I am assuming there was no prenup, btw?

 

[LdiJ]

WA state child support calculator - plug in your numbers and see what happens:

http://www.courts.wa.gov/ssgen/

That calculator is not going to work for him. His income goes beyond the calculator range. I am estimating that his income is 700k per year (since he said that 350k was half) so child support is definitely going to be significantly higher than 2k.

 

[Proserpina]

That calculator is not going to work for him. His income goes beyond the calculator range. I am estimating that his income is 700k per year (since he said that 350k was half) so child support is definitely going to be significantly higher than 2k.

Good point.

 

[IrishLady47]

I find it hard to believe that someone making 700K a year would seek information from a free on-line forum rather than consult an attorney. Not impossible--but hard to believe.

 

[Proserpina]

I find it hard to believe that someone making 700K a year would seek information from a free on-line forum rather than consult an attorney. Not impossible--but hard to believe.

During the occasional spare moments I had this morning it did occur to me that this could actually be Wifey posting....

...but it could also very well be one guy who is about to be completely reamed by his ex-wife.

 

[Isis1]

If she's seriously expecting this? I'm not sure whether "nuts", "delusional" or "laughing at her so hard I can't even think of another term" would be more appropriate.





(one other thing - why is she expecting to be supported for 12 more years...after a 7 year marriage?!)

in regards to the bolded, that's my answer. course i was cut short choking on my ice...

and for a 7 year marriage? i think she might be lucky to get maintainence support for the duration of divorce. once the support is final...*snip*


PS, i'm still for Bali to comment on this one. i'll stop drinking fluids once he has posted.

 

[Proserpina]

PS, i'm still for Bali to comment on this one. i'll stop drinking fluids once he has posted.

Uh huh

 

[LdiJ]

in regards to the bolded, that's my answer. course i was cut short choking on my ice...

and for a 7 year marriage? i think she might be lucky to get maintainence support for the duration of divorce. once the support is final...*snip*


PS, i'm still for Bali to comment on this one. i'll stop drinking fluids once he has posted.

His bigger issue, by far, is going to be child support. He isn't in reality mode where that is concerned. If I am right about child support, what he is proposing isn't even 3% of his gross.

That is the one thing that will bite him in the butt, and WILL last until the children turn 18.

 

[Isis1]

His bigger issue, by far, is going to be child support. He isn't in reality mode where that is concerned. If I am right about child support, what he is proposing isn't even 3% of his gross.

That is the one thing that will bite him in the butt, and WILL last until the children turn 18.

true. it's still better for JUST the child support then everything else she wants to throw on top of. but then how much is he willing to spend in legal fees.

 

[chip_farquar]

wow

Thank you all for the input...

Income: $350k/year.
No prenup
I'm not the wife: I'm the guy who doesn't want to get reamed.

Yes, I know I should get an attorney, but this has all happened very fast. I have been hoping for reconciliation and not wanting to inflame things further by hiring a lawyer and having it show up on our *shared* financial statements.

I have an appointment with an attorney next Tuesday, to try to understand what's in front of me. I'm not going to file for divorce, but just get the information and wait. I have reason to believe that she has already retained counsel.

I filled out that form to the best of my ability, and after deductions for me paying for their private school and health insurance and day care, it shows me only owing $1440 total for child support. which seems way to low.

I'm glad to hear you think her starting position is not likely to be real.

What's funny (in a not very funny way) is that I think that if she didn't ask for anything, I would, out of the interests of my children, have given her far more than any court would order me to give. But now that she's set the bar so high, I have to hire an attorney who will fight her attorney (who I will be paying for of course) and waste a bunch of money our kids could use, then end up with less that I would have offered.

 

[Isis1]

Thank you all for the input...

Income: $350k/year.
No prenup
I'm not the wife: I'm the guy who doesn't want to get reamed.

Yes, I know I should get an attorney, but this has all happened very fast. I have been hoping for reconciliation and not wanting to inflame things further by hiring a lawyer and having it show up on our *shared* financial statements.

I have an appointment with an attorney next Tuesday, to try to understand what's in front of me. I'm not going to file for divorce, but just get the information and wait. I have reason to believe that she has already retained counsel.

I filled out that form to the best of my ability, and after deductions for me paying for their private school and health insurance and day care, it shows me only owing $1440 total for child support. which seems way to low.

I'm glad to hear you think her starting position is not likely to be real.

What's funny (in a not very funny way) is that I think that if she didn't ask for anything, I would, out of the interests of my children, have given her far more than any court would order me to give. But now that she's set the bar so high, I have to hire an attorney who will fight her attorney (who I will be paying for of course) and waste a bunch of money our kids could use, then end up with less that I would have offered.

ah! it was half of the 350K. good grief. well sit back and let LD do some fancy fingerwork on the calculations.

i'm hoping mom can still be imputed an income. it might lower everything just a bit even at minimum wage. she may be encouraged to find employment or even to attend school to make herself marketable. at least that would be the smart thing to do.