What do I do to fairly be treated?

[laurenlbnj]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? New Jersey

Ok here it is:
Tuesday - 9/6/2005:

Admitted around 8:30-9:00 PM
The nurses called Dr; he affirmed my Father's breathing should be at about 86. This is his typical bap.
My Father was so exhausted he could not stay awake, and he was still having serious complications, he was then
admitted to I.C.U. We did not know the exact reasons why, we were NOT properly informed! While in the
Emergency Room the nurses, and doctors made several attempts of treatment to regulate my Father’s
breathing. The outcome, unsuccessful. Shortly after this they felt it was a necessary step of precaution to insert a
respirator. (This was done once in the Emergency Room before he went up to I.C.U.) They also inserted a chest tube.
We did NOT know the chest tube was inserted at this time, due to lack of communication with the staff.

Wednesday - 9/7/2005:

We arrived at the hospital my Father was still on the respirator, but we were told he was making GREAT progress!
We were told he should be moved from I.C.U. in about a week.

Thursday - 9/8/05:

Arrived at hospital around 12:00 PM. Around 1:00 PM they removed the respirator. Dr.informed us that my
Father’s breathing complications were a direct result of his right lung collapsing, which later caused a heart attack.
Serious or minor, the outcome of his heart attack was never explained. However, serious enough to require him to
wear a nitro patch. He now has to start seeing Dr. for treatment of his heart. Dr.also told us
that my Father had a chest tube to drain the fluid out of his collapsed lung. Once again we were told he was in
much better shape. They also said it takes time, but things are looking on the up.

Friday - 9/9/05:

Arrived at hospital around noon. My father was sitting in a chair. They thought it would be good for him to get out of
the bed. We are not sure of the time he was put in or taken out of the chair. While he was in the chair he complained
of overall discomfort to our Brother. He asked to get out of the chair because he wasn’t feeling well, and was
exhausted. He thought lying down, and resting would make him feel better.

And so on, and so fourth.


He has also since this in the last couple of days, had a blood transfusion, contracted Staph, and his condition seems to worsen. We try to gain nurses attention to empty his cathetar (spelling) bag etc, clean up dirty floor, and I feel this is unacceptable!

They did NOT notify us of, him having Staph, or the fact it is HIGHLY contagious, he has a bright orange sign outside of his door, with serious precautions! They don't notify us of him being put back on the respirator. 2/3's of the nurses have serious attitude problems!

Basically, there is a lack of communication, and he is only getting worse day by day, I fear I will be saying good bye to him pretty soon!

What should;can I do?

Please help
Lauren

I have at least 15 SERIOUS complaints that are NOT listed above!
This is out of control!!!

 

[ellencee]

If your father is able to give permission, have him request that the physician (his admitting physician or his primary physician) sit down and explain his condition and the treatments to you.

Nothing you have described is "wrong" or has been done "wrong".

You lack the understanding of what is going on and are making ridiculous demands on the staff and even worse assumptions about his care.

No wonder the nurses have serious attitudes; they are stifling the urge to tell you get the hell out of there and possibly could suggest a destination for you to go. Let the nurses do their jobs; they know what they are doing and why. You obviously haven't the slightest clue.

Your father is critically ill; do not under-estimate the seriousness of his condition. (No one gave him the serious condition, either.) He very well may die in the near future. His body certainly seems to be trying to shut down permanently.

Focus on your father and not his illness; spend your time with him wisely.

EC

 

[laurenlbnj]

Replying

I understand "spend time with your father" completely 100%!
And I have EVERY single day. I am merely stating I have to ask them to empty the cathetar bag, and ask them what point is he at now? They are NOT telling my Mother my brothers or my sisters ANYTHING!
I do not feel you understood that I was saying "WE ARE NOT TOLD ANYTHING UNLESS WE ASK!" And if they are getting attitudes because we are asking.... what should we do? Just sit there and wonder? The care is horrible over there. Infectious disease doctors are walking in and out scaring him 1/2 to death, and leaving as if we shouldn't be concerned! Telling us NOTHING! I appreciate you replying and I can handle the truth of anything you may say but I also at the same time feel you read the post improperly. So I think it comes down to this to your post... I feel this is what you are saying to me:
Just deal with not knowing anything, and refrain from asking questions, and watch my father die, from poor care. While the nurses aren't bothered because, they didn't get the memo that Nurses ARE supposed to care. And at the same time I didn't go to school for this, and this is the first I have seen this. I feel it's fair I have questions, and fair that THEY be answered in a timely fashion!
Well maybe I didn't understand you correctly, I feel you also don't understand me!
Thanks anyway though!
Maybe you are a nurse and that's why you answered me like THAT!

 

[justme22]

It sounds like your father was in respiratory failure, intubated, his breathing assisted by the ventilator, and admitted to the ICU. In the emergency room setting, many procedures are done, often at the same time, in order to save a person's life - discussions come later.

Does your father have a history of lung probems, smoking, is he overweight? Those are conditions that would contribute to his need for respiratory support.

The staff should be commended for getting your father up in a chair after he was extubated (that breathing tube taken out of his throat). Being upright, even if the patient doesn't like it) is better for a person with lung problems. It enables to them to breath deeper, easier, helps prevent pneumonia later on. The reason is simple gravity. When a person is upright, they do not have to move their stomach as much to get a deep breathe - when a person is supine, they have to move more body to get that same deep inhalation.

If I were you I would do a couple of thing in order to improve communication

1. if it is ok with your father for his medical information to be given to someone else - I would pick one family member to be the go between - between the medical staff and family. For example, the physician could speak to you and then you could relay that info to the other family members. This prevents valuable time from being spend repeating info. Write down questions you have, be prepared.

2. ask your father's primary physician when would be a good time for him/her to discuss your father's care and prognosis. They might have to come back later in the day.

3. or ask his nurse the same. Don't expect time tho when 15 other patient's are ringing for assistance. Also, don't be argumentive or demanding, it makes the other person defensive. Ask them if there is anything you can do to facilitate your father's recovery.

4. ask (or go seek) to speak to the patient's right advocate. Every hospital has someone that acts a mediator when conflicts arise. Or ask to speak to the nursing supervisor. I have worked in hospitals where family care conferences will be held (usually long term patients tho) - a family representative, physician, nursing staff, social worker, etc. would be present to discuss the patient's prognosis and care.

I wish you the best.

 

[rnkellylynn6]

The last post was perfect, and I wouldn't add a thing. The pt. rep. is a great resource that you should take advantage of. Since you keep mentioning the foley (urine bag) I'll just add a small bit on that. Patients as ill as your Dad are required to have intake (IV fluids & drinks) monitored closely. Just as closely monitored is output (chest tube and urine). The urine is generally emptied at the same point in each shift to adequately monitor the exact balance of input and output for charting. Just becase a bag of urine looks unattractive, is not reason to disrupt the timing and measurement process. The bags hold over 2500cc (over a half gallon!). Unless it looks about to burst, it is still functioning and need not be emptied to appease family. Rest assured that your Dad's nurse HAS to chart the I/O on her shift and wil do so when it is time.

 

[laurenlbnj]

Help would be appreciated

Ok I will put this nicely, "THANKS" but not what I was looking for. Will someone other than an UN compassionate nurse reply, actually if were having a reply on urine bags etc, make your own post, I am talking about uncaring nurses, filthy dirty hospital rooms, syringes on the floor, nurses ignoring patient and family, NOT what a nurse thinks about "cc's" etc! And as to the first reply of my post, yada yada... refraining from telling me to get the hell out of there? Why? Because I asked a question about MY Father, NOT his care, just "Do you think he is doing better?" Am I not allowed to ask questions, cause IN MY hospital there are papers on the wall titled "Pateint Care, and RIGHTS!" And that states I can ask questions as well as my Father, and surrounding family members. And I am entitled to an answer in a timely fashion.
And by the way I read your little profile, r.n.
You obviously missed the memo you should be compassionate if you choose the medical field!
All you did was annoy me! You sound cold hearted!
And as for the "FOLEY BAG" ANOTHER nurse, no comment thanks though, why doesn't someone read the post I wrote about improper care, and filth!
Than reply, don't stick up for each other!
Let me put your Dad in a bed in I.C.U. mind you, and him not be able to reach his buzzer, have nurses with attitudes, and than have a family member change his bed pan etc, pick up syringes, unsterile nebulizer treatments, tell them when an alarm is going off, have to ask to have the floor mopped, have a leaking sink! And have him contract Staph / MRSA, loose blood, get a transfusion, and than have his nurses have the right to roll there eyes, and ignore you?!
Yes maybe you understand me NOW! If not than maybe I need to put in doctors termonology for you, maybe you CAN'T handle Apples, and oranges!
Thanks so much,
Lauren
Waiting for a reply from a COMPASSIONATE nurse or someone else other than a person that wants to belittle me and make me think I don't have a right to be annoyed!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

My mother died of COPD, what Ellen said is true, you don't understand. Now when they start giving your father morphine to make him comfortable, be sure to let him know you love him.

 

[laurenlbnj]

I Have Explained I Understand That, And Thank You So Much, But Once Again, What About The Sink, Syringes, Everything Attitudes. Not His Condition! If What You Say Is True I Think They Should Be Even More Compassionate Because We Are Grieving. What Do You Say To The Filth And Improper Care, Just Let This Happen Cause He Is Passing? So His Rights To A Clean, And Pleasent Stay Are No Longer Due To His Condition? Lets Be Real... Something Is Wrong And I Don't Need To Be A Rocket Scientist To Figure That Out. I Am Completley Appalled By His Care! By The Way He Has C.o.p.d. Also.
Would You Have Wanted Your Mother To Have All This Filth In Her Private Room? No I Doubt It, I Am Not Asking For Someone To Tell Me He Is Dying I Am Simply Asking "why Are We Being Treated Like Nothing?" It Is Disgusting!
Please Reply To The Filth And Improper Care, And Lack Of Communication, Not His Condition, I Know My Time Is Precious, And That Is Why I Am Fighting, I Am 21, And This Is My Only Dad I Will Not Sit Back And Watch This... Over My Dead Body, I Am Placing Several Complaints Tomorrow I Will Let You Know The Outcome!
Lauren
And There Isn't A Day I Don't Sit Up There Rub His Head, Hold His Hand, Monitor His Machines, Or Kiss Him Good-bye. He Is And Has Always Been My Favorite Person In The World, And He Deserves Much More Than This, I Will Not Stop Fighting For Him, Cause He Has Never Let Me Down!

 

[laurenlbnj]

You lack the understanding of what is going on and are making ridiculous demands on the staff and even worse assumptions about his care.

No wonder the nurses have serious attitudes; they are stifling the urge to tell you get the hell out of there and possibly could suggest a destination for you to go. Let the nurses do their jobs; they know what they are doing and why. You obviously haven't the slightest clue.


And by the way NONE of this makes sense... when have I told YOU I made a ridiclious demand... Asking "hey how's my Dad today?"
Get real! You must be a miserable person to be around I should check if any of my Dad's nurses names are Ellen! Assumptions about his care? Uhhhh dirty syringes, leaky sinks, unclean floors, is assumptions, so when "ewww filth" clicked in my head, that was an assumption? WOW I would hate to see your house! It's probobaly horrible! GET my point or is it put to simple for you, some of you nurses kill me you should have to take manner lessons before entering your hospitals, if it were up to me you would even be treated by a nurse with that attitude!
they are stifling the urge to tell you get the hell out of there
WHY? Cause I am a concerned daughter? I barely speak to the nurses cause they are in and out before I can say anything!

You obviously haven't the slightest clue.

No you obviously DON'T or just have some reading disorder, and comprehend it like a child, immature, and how you want to hear it.
You know what actually you are right, I don't have the slightest clue... DUE TO THE POOR COMMUNICATION with the I.C.U nurses!
You SHOULD read everything in my first post AGAIN, than put YOUR Father, Mother, Child or whoever you care about... if you do, into your crazy imagination, than think it fully through, and than reply, I put money on it you feel different cause as of now....

YOU HAVEN'T THE SLIGHTEST CLUE!

And did you stop to think to have me come this far and write on a forum I may be a tad upset? Ease up off me a little!
I have a destination for you...
You try sitting up in I.C.U. with that care for almost a month, and than come talk to me.
See how it feels it doesn't feel too good!
Thanks for just annoying me you should do what probobly happens when someone complains about you..."NO COMMENT"

NOT trying to be harsh BUT at this point that has been my problem, and it is quite obvious NOW!

But no hard feelings I vented, and feel better now,
THANKS
Lauren

 

[panzertanker]

You try sitting up in I.C.U. with that care for almost a month, and than come talk to me.

Why did you not go to the Administrator of the hospital if you felt your dad received this poor care for a MONTH?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Lauren,
You are angey and grieving especially knowing there is little you can do to save your father. I knew he had COPD when you first posted, that is why I kept my answer brief. I could educate you on the care and treatment of COPD which of all the terminal diseases has the longest duriation, avg 20 years. He already had the beginings of this when you were an infant, it is the only way you have known him. Did you beg him to stop smoking? Do you smoke yourself? If you smoke, the greatest gift you can give your father beyond the immediate comfort of your presense at his side is to stop smoking and in general lead a healthy lifestyle including limiting stress.

You love your father but you came here initially complaining about what you preceived as inappropriate care. YOu came here with a hostile attitude.

Tuesday - 9/6/2005:

Admitted around 8:30-9:00 PM
The nurses called Dr; he affirmed my Father's breathing should be at about 86. This is his typical bap. My Father was so exhausted he could not stay awake, and he was still having serious complications, he was then admitted to I.C.U. We did not know the exact reasons why, we were NOT properly informed! While in the Emergency Room the nurses, and doctors made several attempts of treatment to regulate my Father’s breathing. The outcome, unsuccessful. Shortly after this they felt it was a necessary step of precaution to insert a respirator. (This was done once in the Emergency Room before he went up to I.C.U.) They also inserted a chest tube. We did NOT know the chest tube was inserted at this time, due to lack of communication with the staff.

Your father is dying. The ER appropriately treated him for a collapsed lung, that is an emergency. Their first priority is to keep him breathing and oxygen in his blood, not communicating every detail of his care with you. They admitted him after reinflated the lung with hopes that he would improve, if he did then he could be moved. Most COPD patients aren't kept in the ICU very long if at all, they are usually discharged to palliative care.

His continued problems are because his body can no longer maintain the minimum required to survive, it is called end organ failure and the body shuts down. There is little than can be done other than to make him comfortable, he isn't concerned about the same things you are concerned about right now, focus on him. That is why he is sleepy because it takes too much energy to stay awake. If there are concerns about hygine or sanitation, make a complaint but remember, things are not always as they seem. You have to get a hold on yourself and your emotions because your attitude is allienating and distracting his caregivers. Do you really want to spend your last days with your father filled with frustration and anger that leads to nowhere?

I meant what I said about morphine, if and or when that time comes, there is little time left, make the most of your time now. Have you considered taking your father home and caring for him at home or in a hospice? Even if you care for him at home, hospice services are available to assist in the home. This may be a better means of resolving your concerns and focusing your energy.

 

[laurenlbnj]

i did i went to the director.
I understand everything you are saying, and it makes ALOT of sense to be i just see these things and thats my daddy so i dont want that happening to him, but i guess your right i wont want to look back years from now and acknowledge all that anger and frustration.
so i will just spend my time with him positively.

Although i was just trying to make things nicer and better for him.

Hospice at home, is that possible witha trach now.
I dont know if i spelled that correctly.
And is that covered on some insurances.
And YES i DO smoke.
Like an idiot.
I am going to quit!
Thank you for your advice, although it is sad, i understand better now.
I appreciate it.
Lauren

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Lauren,
You are welcome.
Ellen and I said the same things to you, from our unique perspectives. I am glad you can acknowledge your anger and move forward in a more positive way. Ask the discharge social worker at the hospital how to arrange for hospice services.

Since you are so young I am assuming your father is young for COPD as well, please get tested for A1AD it's free and confidential http://www.alphaone.org/alpha1/get_tested.html check out the site they can be very helpful as can the Am Lung Association.

 

[BlondiePB]

Do check into Hospice. If your father cannot be taken care of at home by Hospice, you could have him placed at another facility. The person that does the Hospice admission can provide you with more information.

 

[justme22]

patients with trachs can be taken care of at home - some teaching would be done in the hospital first to his primary care-givers. Pain control and comfort measures can be taken care of in the house also, either by family members or visiting nurses.