brandon_808
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law) Honolulu, Hawaii
Hi, back in February 2009, my ex girlfriend and I broke up. She wanted full legal and physical custody of our beautiful little daughter (1yr. now). I wanted joint, but she never let up. The biggest mistake of my life was signing those papers. Keep in mind I factored this in, her ex husband cheated on her 6 times before she divorced him and she gained full legal and physical custody of their three sons (her ex pays $300 a month for three kids and he nets $75,000 yr with no bills). She has never once denied the boys from him. Not once! My ex and I simply grew apart, so I figured, no matter what, I would never lose my little girl, so i signed the papers.
Anyways, the Child Support Decree states I pay $590 a month for child support and nothing else. But, I also pay between $500- $600 a month on the side for diapers, formula, food and clothing (not apart of the CS Decree). Believe me, I kept ALL receipts for this dated back to when our baby was born. I also pay $650 a month for child care (also not part of the CS Decree) after Child Care Assistance. What does CS pay for? Many people tell me CS for necessities like formula, food, diapers clothes. So why am I paying for these items on the side? If CS does cover “necessities,” and she has full legal and physical custody, is $590 suppose to be enough for the month, or do I have to pay half of everything? My ex tells me CS is only the differential pay between her and I and it only covers water and electricity that our daughter uses. What?! No baby or adult uses $590 a month for water and electricity. I don’t know if she remembers clearly, but I did live with her and her 3 sons for 1 year and I paid $355 a month for electricity and water/sewage for all of us put together.
Now it gets crazier! She moved back in with her ex husband (they live in seperate parts of the house) and she doesn’t pay rent. She also went back on active duty orders which pays her a lot more than her civilian job; approximately $1800 more a month. After she told me that, I told her that I will not be paying the extra 5 to 6 hundred dollars a month for our daughters “necessities”, until I find out what CS is really suppose to cover ( am I wrong for telling her that?). I also told her that I will only pay half of the child care. She’s pretty pissed at that whole situation.
Here is my work schedule. I work 2-3 times a week during the weekday and every other weekend and I still get paid full time. Now, during the weekday, I start work at 2pm and she gets off at 2pm. So I am able to drop our daughter off to her before I start work. The other 2-3 days, im completely off. I tell her there is no reason for me to pay child care when I can watch our daughter everyday. She simply tells me that I have no say. Wow, where’s the compromise there?
I understand that my obligations is to pay $590 a month for CS, and as a responsible father, I have been doing that, and have not missed a payment (automatic deductions out of my paycheck). I also have given her a written and signed letter stating that I WILL pay half of the child care, as long as she shows me proof of tuition and that I can make the payment with a check directly to the Child Care (i think thats fair). Am I, in any way short changing my daughter in any way at all? My ex only lets me see her once or twice a week for 6 hours at a time. I do miss my little angel every second of every day and wish with all my heart that I could spend everyday with her! But im not allowed. What should I do?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Hi, back in February 2009, my ex girlfriend and I broke up. She wanted full legal and physical custody of our beautiful little daughter (1yr. now). I wanted joint, but she never let up. The biggest mistake of my life was signing those papers. Keep in mind I factored this in, her ex husband cheated on her 6 times before she divorced him and she gained full legal and physical custody of their three sons (her ex pays $300 a month for three kids and he nets $75,000 yr with no bills). She has never once denied the boys from him. Not once! My ex and I simply grew apart, so I figured, no matter what, I would never lose my little girl, so i signed the papers.
Anyways, the Child Support Decree states I pay $590 a month for child support and nothing else. But, I also pay between $500- $600 a month on the side for diapers, formula, food and clothing (not apart of the CS Decree). Believe me, I kept ALL receipts for this dated back to when our baby was born. I also pay $650 a month for child care (also not part of the CS Decree) after Child Care Assistance. What does CS pay for? Many people tell me CS for necessities like formula, food, diapers clothes. So why am I paying for these items on the side? If CS does cover “necessities,” and she has full legal and physical custody, is $590 suppose to be enough for the month, or do I have to pay half of everything? My ex tells me CS is only the differential pay between her and I and it only covers water and electricity that our daughter uses. What?! No baby or adult uses $590 a month for water and electricity. I don’t know if she remembers clearly, but I did live with her and her 3 sons for 1 year and I paid $355 a month for electricity and water/sewage for all of us put together.
Now it gets crazier! She moved back in with her ex husband (they live in seperate parts of the house) and she doesn’t pay rent. She also went back on active duty orders which pays her a lot more than her civilian job; approximately $1800 more a month. After she told me that, I told her that I will not be paying the extra 5 to 6 hundred dollars a month for our daughters “necessities”, until I find out what CS is really suppose to cover ( am I wrong for telling her that?). I also told her that I will only pay half of the child care. She’s pretty pissed at that whole situation.
Here is my work schedule. I work 2-3 times a week during the weekday and every other weekend and I still get paid full time. Now, during the weekday, I start work at 2pm and she gets off at 2pm. So I am able to drop our daughter off to her before I start work. The other 2-3 days, im completely off. I tell her there is no reason for me to pay child care when I can watch our daughter everyday. She simply tells me that I have no say. Wow, where’s the compromise there?
I understand that my obligations is to pay $590 a month for CS, and as a responsible father, I have been doing that, and have not missed a payment (automatic deductions out of my paycheck). I also have given her a written and signed letter stating that I WILL pay half of the child care, as long as she shows me proof of tuition and that I can make the payment with a check directly to the Child Care (i think thats fair). Am I, in any way short changing my daughter in any way at all? My ex only lets me see her once or twice a week for 6 hours at a time. I do miss my little angel every second of every day and wish with all my heart that I could spend everyday with her! But im not allowed. What should I do?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?