What is a parent's obligation to the other regarding childcare?

[olhobbes]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

The CO states:

Both parties shall keep the other informed of the names, addresses and telephone number of all child care providers

. Aside from this, there is no further mention of babysitting/childcare in the CO. Given that, are the parents obligated to keep each other informed as to who is watching the child at specific times? If a parent lies about who is watching the child, because the babysitter is unqualified ( 9 years old ), what are the repercussions? I realize I'm not looking at a change of custody situation, but should I file paper work regardless so there is a record of the behavior? "Start the paper trail"?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

The CO states:
. Aside from this, there is no further mention of babysitting/childcare in the CO. Given that, are the parents obligated to keep each other informed as to who is watching the child at specific times? If a parent lies about who is watching the child, because the babysitter is unqualified ( 9 years old ), what are the repercussions? I realize I'm not looking at a change of custody situation, but should I file paper work regardless so there is a record of the behavior? "Start the paper trail"?

A 9 year old watching ...what age child? For how long?

I was babysitting my nieces and nephews when they were babies from the age of 9 for several hour intervals.

Not saying it's right, necessarily - but it happens.

 

[ecmst12]

Don't start multiple threads about the same situation.

 

[olhobbes]

A 9 year old watching ...what age child? For how long?

I was babysitting my nieces and nephews when they were babies from the age of 9 for several hour intervals.

Not saying it's right, necessarily - but it happens.

Ya, and unfortunately CA is one of those states where there aren't any hard and fast rules.

However, at this point, I'm more concerned with mom's lying to me about it ( because I can't do anything about the other ). I have asked her, several times, who is watching our child ( 7 ), and each time I'm told adults are ( but I am not given contact information ). I have told her that if she needs help paying for daycare, let me know and we'll get the situation handled. Yet she still lies to me about it. It's worth noting here that my little one has reported that she is being left alone with the 9 year old, and that today I got some pretty damning evidence that mom is having her older kids lie to our child about it.

How do the courts view the deception? Is she obligated to keep me informed of who is watching our child, and when?

 

[olhobbes]

Don't start multiple threads about the same situation.

My apologies, my question is separate from the previous thread in Jan '12 about this. I wasn't sure if I should amend that thread or start a new one.

 

[olhobbes]

I hate to bump, I'll rephrase my question;

In the state of california, do I have any options I can exercise when mom willfully lies about who is watching our child during her parenting time?

 

[Proserpina]

I hate to bump, I'll rephrase my question;

In the state of california, do I have any options I can exercise when mom willfully lies about who is watching our child during her parenting time?

I guess my question, respectfully, is why you're making such a huge issue out of this.

The child is taken care of, correct?

The child has not come to any harm?

The child is not being left alone for days on end?

What exactly is it you're objecting to - the fact that she's saying "Chrissy is watching kiddo" when in fact it's Tina who's doing so? Or the fact that your child might actually be at risk?

If it's the latter, could you explain the circumstances?

 

[olhobbes]

I guess my question, respectfully, is why you're making such a huge issue out of this.

The child is taken care of, correct?

The child has not come to any harm?

The child is not being left alone for days on end?

What exactly is it you're objecting to - the fact that she's saying "Chrissy is watching kiddo" when in fact it's Tina who's doing so? Or the fact that your child might actually be at risk?

If it's the latter, could you explain the circumstances?

My issues, in a nutshell;

1) I know our daughter is being left in the care of a 9 year old. I am deeply troubled by this as, you know, 9.
2) I am frustrated because when I talk to mom about this, I get lies about who is watching our daughter. I have repeatedly told her that I can provide licensed and capable daycare for both, but obviously if she refuses to admit the situation I can not.

Now my daughter has not be injured in this environment, so my concern is more about potential issues with a 9 year old watching her ( well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about the 9 yr old as well, but I have no legal recourse there so... ). But the potential for catastrophe is increased due to the age of the babysitter, and there is no point to continuing this risk if I am willing to pay for a daycare provider.

I guess I'm just frustrated and scared for my little one, and would like to exert some control over what I feel to be a dangerous situation. However, if the courts don't view parents lying to one another about child care as being a serious situation, then I'll simply have to learn to deal with it ( and hope that nothing happens to my daughter or the 9 yr old ).

 

[las365]

You're still being vague about the time and place involved. Is it once a week? A couple of hours after school every day? Overnight? All weekend? Do the children know and practice basic safety like keeping the door locked and not using the stove? Are there adult neighbors the kids could go to if there was an emergency?

Also, is the 9 year old particularly mature or immature? Nine is young to me to be "in charge" but it isn't necessarily hazardous for short periods.

The lying is a different issue, of course.

 

[Proserpina]

How often is the 9 year old watching your child? And for how long?

Is she the ONLY sitter?

Is she someone else's daughter who is present while there is also an adult present?

 

[olhobbes]

A couple hours after school, every day. And it's just my daughter and the 9 year old until mom gets home; I don't actually have this information either. Mom has said she's home no later than 4:30, but then mom says a lot of things. I've spoken with my daughter when it's just her and her sister ( sorry, the 9 year old is her sister. well, officially, half sister, but regardless ) as late as 6pm before, so I don't know what's going on completely.

The 9 year old is...well, she's nine. I love her completely, but she's a typically 9 year old; not particularly responsible.

 

[Proserpina]

So it's two sisters, 9 & 7, alone for a couple of hours MAXIMUM after school?

ROFR wouldn't kick in even if you DID have it written into your court orders, so...honestly? By the time you get this before a judge, the 9 year old will likely be 10, and at that point unless there's actually a state statute specifically restricting the ages of when children can be left alone - and no, I'm not going searching for any - the court isn't likely to care.

At. All.

 

[olhobbes]

So it's two sisters, 9 & 7, alone for a couple of hours MAXIMUM after school?

ROFR wouldn't kick in even if you DID have it written into your court orders, so...honestly? By the time you get this before a judge, the 9 year old will likely be 10, and at that point unless there's actually a state statute specifically restricting the ages of when children can be left alone - and no, I'm not going searching for any - the court isn't likely to care.

At. All.

There isn't. Not in CA. I did search. ...hmm..

But thank you, I appreciate your perspective ( as always ).

 

[stealth2]

It's likely going to come down to a parenting difference.

 

[Proserpina]

It's likely going to come down to a parenting difference.

I think so, yes. I think the other parent would win out, too, if it actually got before a judge.

I know I'm not the only one of us who as a child had to babysit younger siblings for a couple of hours before one of the parents came home. The courts do recognize that, I think - even in these days of sometimes over-protectiveness.