What is the best way to proceed in a case like this?

[fleurdelis123]

You're going to have to have better reasons to limit dad's parenting time. He can use the same reasons to argue that he should have have primary placement.

Dad is the one who decided to relocate, not me. I am just trying to give my son stability and dad cannot and will not do that.

 

[Proserpina]

And if dad cannot do this because he works nights and has an unstable work schedule?

And these have suddenly started to happen? Or did Dad have the same work schedule when you came to this agreement?

You need to take a few minutes and really look at how this is coming across.

To simplify it...

You were just fine with Dad's work schedule and everything else, but want to bring up things never brought up before because .... why?

 

[Proserpina]

Dad is the one who decided to relocate, not me. I am just trying to give my son stability and dad cannot and will not do that.

You said you wanted to relocate out of state.

Look. Stop. You're getting far too defensive. We're asking legitimate questions, and you're basically telling us that you want your own way no matter what.

 

[fleurdelis123]

You allowed your son to spend half of his time with an abusive father? I'm sorry, but that's really not going to hold up too well in court. It's a convenient reason now but it wasn't.... then? Why is that?

The alternative is that Dad has residential and you have parenting time. I see no reason why he couldn't.

He was not abusive towards my son, only me. I also did not start working full time until recently and was not in the best financial situation to go to court, but I am now. I attempted to mediate with the dad, but he has refused so the other alternative is to get a lawyer involved since he signed a court order agreeing to mediation.

 

[Proserpina]

He was not abusive towards my son, only me. I also did not start working full time until recently and was not in the best financial situation to go to court, but I am now. I attempted to mediate with the dad, but he has refused so the other alternative is to get a lawyer involved since he signed a court order agreeing to mediation.

Be prepared for Dad to be named the primary parent. You've said nothing here that would ordinarily outweigh what Dad has to offer.

 

[fleurdelis123]

And these have suddenly started to happen? Or did Dad have the same work schedule when you came to this agreement?

You need to take a few minutes and really look at how this is coming across.

To simplify it...

You were just fine with Dad's work schedule and everything else, but want to bring up things never brought up before because .... why?

Let me make sure you understand this correctly. The order was filed in 2011. Dad and I continued to live in the same house until 2014. Dad changes jobs like he changes socks hence a changing scheduling. He moved out, I got full time employment and we didn't really communicate with each other. So in August of last year dad comes around claiming he has changed etc. I believed him and tried work things out, but he was the same person he has was in the past. All I am asking is a basic question about PROVING that I attempted mediation and modifying this order so that things are more stringent.

 

[fleurdelis123]

Be prepared for Dad to be named the primary parent. You've said nothing here that would ordinarily outweigh what Dad has to offer.

That's why I am getting a lawyer and dad won't have one. I will let the attorney litigate for me. I just asked basic questions on here about mediating and modifying an order. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Let me make sure you understand this correctly. The order was filed in 2011. Dad and I continued to live in the same house until 2014. Dad changes jobs like he changes socks hence a changing scheduling. He moved out, I got full time employment and we didn't really communicate with each other. So in August of last year dad comes around claiming he has changed etc. I believed him and tried work things out, but he was the same person he has was in the past. All I am asking is a basic question about PROVING that I attempted mediation and modifying this order so that things are more stringent.

The problem is that you don't have any good reasons to change the schedule and limit dad's parenting time. There is no reason for mediation.

 

[I'mTheFather]

That's why I am getting a lawyer and dad won't have one. I will let the attorney litigate for me. I just asked basic questions on here about mediating and modifying an order. Nothing more, nothing less.

What you're trying to do is limit dad's involvement in his child's life for no reason.

Did you stay in the same town after dad moved out?

 

[fleurdelis123]

The problem is that you don't have any good reasons to change the schedule and limit dad's parenting time. There is no reason for mediation.

The attorney informed me that it was a possibility that I could do a social study to show the courts that I am a better fit parent than his father. Also I need to change child support order and dad has also not kept my son on insurance although this was in the order as well.

 

[fleurdelis123]

You said you wanted to relocate out of state.

Look. Stop. You're getting far too defensive. We're asking legitimate questions, and you're basically telling us that you want your own way no matter what.

I wanted to move out of state to be back with family since I had no one out here.

 

[Proserpina]

Let me make sure you understand this correctly. The order was filed in 2011. Dad and I continued to live in the same house until 2014. Dad changes jobs like he changes socks hence a changing scheduling. He moved out, I got full time employment and we didn't really communicate with each other. So in August of last year dad comes around claiming he has changed etc. I believed him and tried work things out, but he was the same person he has was in the past. All I am asking is a basic question about PROVING that I attempted mediation and modifying this order so that things are more stringent.

Oh, I understand perfectly what you're trying to do.

You are clearly wanting to limit his parenting time - but you don't have any reason for doing so. That is why you keep bringing up Dad's suddenly-important perceived failings. You also seem to think that Dad not wanting to mediate will result in you getting a modification. Thankfully it doesn't work like that.

You're welcome.

I'm sure someone will be along to soothe your ill feelings though.

Good Day.

 

[fleurdelis123]

What you're trying to do is limit dad's involvement in his child's life for no reason.

Did you stay in the same town after dad moved out?

Yes. At that point I was financially stable and self sufficient. Dad can still be involved in his son's life, but dad is very unstable on a whole. When my son comes back from dad's house he is dirty and hair is knotted. Overall he is just not taken care of very well and dad has no stability. There is no bed time and no schedule. It's hard raising my 4 yr old when he goes to dad's house and is allowed to stay up and do as he pleases and comes to my houses and expects to do the same. It's going to be harder when school starts because he will have to be on a schedule and dad does NOT have him on one. I believe I can provide more stability. Of course I know my burden of proof is on me, but I am willing to do what I have to do.

 

[fleurdelis123]

Oh, I understand perfectly what you're trying to do.

You are clearly wanting to limit his parenting time - but you don't have any reason for doing so. That is why you keep bringing up Dad's suddenly-important perceived failings. You also seem to think that Dad not wanting to mediate will result in you getting a modification. Thankfully it doesn't work like that.

You're welcome.

I'm sure someone will be along to soothe your ill feelings though.

Good Day.

It may not, and he is welcome to see his son, but he needs stability and will get that. Dad agreed to mediate in the order and by him refusing looks poorly on him. You have a good day as well.

 

[Proserpina]

The attorney informed me that it was a possibility that I could do a social study to show the courts that I am a better fit parent than his father. Also I need to change child support order and dad has also not kept my son on insurance although this was in the order as well.

I suggest you keep paying your attorney. S/he probably won't appreciate your attempts to get strangers on the internet to second-guess his/her advice.