What next...Ex-Wife is Never Willing to Accept Kids on Her Possession Period

[stealth2]

What is your Alien Abduction Plan? Time to formulate one and talk to a lawyer regarding whether you have enough to modify custody.

 

[t74]

Poor kids! At least dad came here to post for advice.

 

[CJane]

Sooo... when Mom "refuses" to pick up the kids on Sunday, what then? Does she get them Monday? Do you take them to school Monday? Clearly, she gets them back at SOME point.

Is it an issue for you to have them more, or is the lack of notice the issue? Would a true 50/50 schedule be better for all concerned?

 

[mike78texas]

Typically when she refuses, I end up going home with them (after spending 40 min round trip of course) and get them ready to start their school day. I'll show up Monday drop them off, and sometimes I show up to pick them up and find out mom got them instead. Clearly, there's little communication that occurs now which is a change over the past 45 days or so. Sometimes, instead she won't get them on Monday and I will and have to wonder if she'll get them Tuesday.

Missing work to play pickup roulette is causing the work related issues. I've made comments in the past that if this keeps up I'll go for full custody and she claims I'll never win and she'll take me to the cleaners because she can afford a better attorney blah blah.

I prefer to not upset the apple cart but this isn't sustainable or fair to anyone. As i've said (or think I said earlier) it's not a matter of money for me, I don't want hers. I know there was talk earlier in this thread if it should have been structured the way it was...but that's the way it was structured and approved "in the best interests" at least.

I've spoken with my attorney in the past and he feels I should document this going forward and follow up via e-mail and that there's a strong possibility that this would be considered a material change in circumstances. I just prefer not to go that route....I fear that will cause her to leave the picture entirely.

 

[t74]

Your children must be very confused and insecure and likely need to be in counseling.

At this point, if she chooses to stop visitation because there is a change in the custody arrangements, have the children really lost anything given the current situation? I imagine the stress of not knowing whether their mother is going to show up to get them is worse than their not having that expectation and a predictable schedule with less mom time - which is her choice. I do not say this lightly as I believe children deserve the love and attention of both parents, and both parents deserve quality - without interference from the other parent - time with their children. However, the children must be feeling abandoned when they are left when all others have been picked up especially if this is happening regularly. My heart aches for them.

Keep detailed records. Please consider professional help for all of you. And follow the advice of your attorney. (S)he likely knows of qualified counselors for your specific needs.

 

[stealth2]

So, again, what is your Alien Abduction Plan?

Many schools have after-school care/programs. Perhaps you should look into that as an option. Coupled with a burner phone for your 11yo to text you if Mom picks up, it might alleviate lost work time. Do you live within their school district? Doing so would increase your odds for a custody modification.

What do you think full custody will give you? Mom will still have parenting time and will still be able to flake out. Not upsetting the apple cart isn't fair to the kids, especially if it warrants upsetting. The kids - especially the older - might benefit from some counseling.

 

[HRZ]

I think you need to give more consideration to your attorney's advice ...keep darn good records of Mom gaps ....but I would NOT be sending Mom broad emails ...the situation as I read it is not " ripe " and you are destined to say a lot of wrong things which her attorney can twist downstream .

Ask you attorney ...but before I set out on drop offs I would verify in advance w a record of same and if were unable to confirm a person being there for drop off I would not set out . And If Mom missed a drop off I'd be of view is my discretion about if I try again on second day or insist she pick up. ...again ask your attorney .

Lay the foundation for legal action IF this takes a turn for the worse and hope for the best !

A threat from Mom to out lawyer you is just hot air for now but it suggests this is her game plan and it's not that she has best interests of children in mind.

I think you do yourself and the children no favors to play by Moms rules of uncertainly.