What options do I have?

[rileymib81]

West Virginia

I'm just seeking options I have at this time.

First - Getting ready for work my Wife and I get into an argument over the kids damaging a TV (not the first time). Obviously I was upset and asked her to keep a better eye on the kids while I'm at work. She's on Facebook 24/7 and doesn't do a very good job supervising our children. I know raising kids is very tough and can be stressful. She suffers from depression and anxiety and some days can be very difficult to deal with. Anyways when I come home from work the house is a wreck and her and the kids are nowhere to be found. I called and texted her numerous times with no response. I drove to her mothers house and nobody would answer. Eventually after several hours my wife's mother messages me telling me not to step foot on her property and we could arrange a time to meet the boys. So now I know the boys are at her mothers and they drove our kids with out their car seats as they were in the van I was driving at the time. Anyways, as I continue to message her where to meet and to speak to my kids on the phone, she completely ignores me and eventually blocks me. I've already contacted the non-emergency number and was supposed to have a sheriff call me which they never did. Also, I found out by my wife's father that she did go to the courthouse. Of course, I'm not entirely sure what for as they refuse to answer any of my attempts to contact them.

I love my boys more than anything and it hurts so bad not seeing them or even having the chance to talk to them on the phone.

I would appreciate and information and help I can get at this point.

Thank you!

 

[adjusterjack]

First thing you do is check the court to see if anything has been filed with your name on it, either divorce petition or restraining order. Once a case file is opened and assigned a case number, it's public record and you can get copies in advance of being served.

Understand that the bar is set pretty low for motherhood and the household situation you describe won't give you any advantage at all. If she is filing for divorce you can pretty much count on her getting custody and you paying child support.

If you get served with divorce papers, reach an agreement you can live with or you will be making a pair of lawyers very happy.

 

[Just Blue]

West Virginia

I'm just seeking options I have at this time.

First - Getting ready for work my Wife and I get into an argument over the kids damaging a TV (not the first time). Obviously I was upset and asked her to keep a better eye on the kids while I'm at work. She's on Facebook 24/7 and doesn't do a very good job supervising our children. I know raising kids is very tough and can be stressful. She suffers from depression and anxiety and some days can be very difficult to deal with. Anyways when I come home from work the house is a wreck and her and the kids are nowhere to be found. I called and texted her numerous times with no response. I drove to her mothers house and nobody would answer. Eventually after several hours my wife's mother messages me telling me not to step foot on her property and we could arrange a time to meet the boys. So now I know the boys are at her mothers and they drove our kids with out their car seats as they were in the van I was driving at the time. Anyways, as I continue to message her where to meet and to speak to my kids on the phone, she completely ignores me and eventually blocks me. I've already contacted the non-emergency number and was supposed to have a sheriff call me which they never did. Also, I found out by my wife's father that she did go to the courthouse. Of course, I'm not entirely sure what for as they refuse to answer any of my attempts to contact them.

I love my boys more than anything and it hurts so bad not seeing them or even having the chance to talk to them on the phone.

I would appreciate and information and help I can get at this point.

Thank you!

Curious ...Why would you take the car seats with you all day? The car seats should be left at home in case Mom needs them during the day.

 

[ajkroy]

Just to be clear - you leave your wife home alone with multiple young knowing she has depression and anxiety issues and you maintain the only carseats, so she cannot leave the house? Was this a one-off or is this how you regularly do things?

 

[t74]

Just to be clear - you leave your wife home alone with multiple young knowing she has depression and anxiety issues and you maintain the only carseats, so she cannot leave the house? Was this a one-off or is this how you regularly do things?

What are the ages of the children?

If she is depressed and has other issues, she should not be driving anywhere.

No reasonable person takes the time to properly install carseats each time they go out. It is extremely time consuming to do it correctly.

Nowhere does it state they have more than one car. Most people have carseats for each of their vehicles or if it is an infant seat, they do not need a snap in base for all since most can be belted directly in and the child is usually loaded into the carseat in the house.

If she were going to take the children, it was irresponsible of her not to let the children's father know where they are and to a;llow him to speak with them. If she is that depressed, she is a danger to herself and them. If she were that stressed, her parents should have gone to her house to assist in the care of the children rather than remove the children from their home. They are not HER children alone.

 

[cbg]

t74, did you happen to miss this in the OP?

and they drove our kids with out their car seats as they were in the van I was driving at the time

While I agree that the poster did not spell out in so many words: We have more than one car, the clear implication is that she has a means of transportation and that it did not have the car seats in them at the time.

 

[ajkroy]

Based on the information provided by the OP, it sounds like the mom did the responsible thing and got the kids out of there and to the grandparents.

Depressed people and people with "other issues" drive every day. It is when they are isolated with children all day, and have a seemingly domineering spouse ("keep a better eye on the kids while I'm at work") that you end up with a situation like Andrea Yates.

 

[rileymib81]

Curious ...Why would you take the car seats with you all day? The car seats should be left at home in case Mom needs them during the day.

She doesn't drive. She never had the desire to get her drivers license.

 

[Just Blue]

She doesn't drive. She never had the desire to get her drivers license.

Doesn't matter. She might want to go out with a friend or family member...or take a cab to the mall for the afternoon. No car seats = Stuck in the house all day.

 

[rileymib81]

Based on the information provided by the OP, it sounds like the mom did the responsible thing and got the kids out of there and to the grandparents.

Depressed people and people with "other issues" drive every day. It is when they are isolated with children all day, and have a seemingly domineering spouse ("keep a better eye on the kids while I'm at work") that you end up with a situation like Andrea Yates.

So I should ignore her not paying attention to the kids? I'm in no way domineering. For the most part we had a great relationship and I was upset that another expensive appliance got damaged due to her not paying closer attention to the kids. Also the tv in this situation is in our office where we get together to watch movies and play games as long as one parent is in the room with said kids. Also if my wife sees that I'm slacking some days (not paying enough attention to the kids) either being tired from work she lets me know about it. She also isn't isolated with the kids all day. I work days and she works part time nights. Also for her days off she has plenty of friends that she goes and sees as she pleases while I watch after the boys. As for the responsible thing taking her to her grandparents isn't so much the responsible thing as my wife and her mother have a very rocky relationship since way before we met. I believe her mother is one of the main causes of my wife's depression. My wife on most days is a very lovely women, it's only when shes in contact with her mother where things seem to spiral. Her mother has stolen prescription pills from my wife and is heavily addicted to xanax and oxy. I really don't want my children in that type of environment.

 

[rileymib81]

Doesn't matter. She might want to go out with a friend or family member...or take a cab to the mall for the afternoon. No car seats = Stuck in the house all day.

I only worked a half day the day I took the car seats. As most people, if she has plans to go out with friends and needs the car seats I leave them home.

 

[rileymib81]

Just to be clear - you leave your wife home alone with multiple young knowing she has depression and anxiety issues and you maintain the only carseats, so she cannot leave the house? Was this a one-off or is this how you regularly do things?

The car seats were left in vehicle from previous trip from the night before. I never deny my wife taking the kids when she wants a day out. I admit I'm not perfect and do the best I can with what I have. It's never my attention to make my wife feel bad. I'm heartbroken with my kids not here and just being ignored. Not even a simple phone call so I can talk to them.

 

[cbg]

And if there's an emergency? If one of the kids has a fall and needs to be taken to the doctor? What does she do then?

 

[Just Blue]

The car seats were left in vehicle from previous trip from the night before. I never deny my wife taking the kids when she wants a day out. I admit I'm not perfect and do the best I can with what I have. It's never my attention to make my wife feel bad. I'm heartbroken with my kids not here and just being ignored. Not even a simple phone call so I can talk to them.

Is your wife in therapy? How old is the children?

 

[rileymib81]

t74, did you happen to miss this in the OP?

and they drove our kids with out their car seats as they were in the van I was driving at the time

While I agree that the poster did not spell out in so many words: We have more than one car, the clear implication is that she has a means of transportation and that it did not have the car seats in them at the time.

I'm sorry, really not in the right frame of mind and never been a good writer. Her mother came by to pick her and the kids up. We do have multiple vehicles and I've tried for my wife to get her drivers license so she could take the kids to the drs appts without me leaving work all the time. She is just very scared of driving and unfortunately has no desire to do so.