I wanted one child. (I love them all though and wouldn't trade it) She wanted a big family and being pregnant seemed be the biggest joy in her life. She lied to me about being on birth control and tubes tied. Her family and her dr finally encouraged her to get the procedure.
Unfortunately, it is often something unrecognized until a straw breaks the camel's back...
She's always had minor issues. She was beaten as a child and her mom abandoned her until she was 15. She would frequently run away from her mothers. I wasn't there during this time so I can only take her word for it. Although her father did admit to some pretty terrible things. When we first got together she seemed to be normal and a very fun loving person. Her sister and brother says she suffered from bi-polar disorder, but we've never had tests done. What really seems to trigger her and make her a completely different person is when she has any contact with her mother. Her mother has disowned her idk how many times and I think she's just afraid of that happening again.
I really don't find myself being controlling. She has free reign to do whatever she wants. (obviously this started because I was angry that another TV is destroyed - which I feel is justified) I just feel slighted and miserable because she took our kids with no notice and won't even let me contact them. I would never do that to her and wonder how the responses would be if I were the one to take the kids without notice. Our children's safety and happiness is my number one concern and now I'm just pretty much helpless.
It depends on the reasons. If you had presented us as being on the receiving end of the treatment you have described, we might very well be encouraging it, along with a court filing ASAP.
What treatment?? Can you explain?
She has a very narrow world and is dependent on you.
Except she doesn't. She works night shift because that's what she wanted. She is out with friends all the time or they are over. I bought her a vehicle to motivate her to get her license so she would have even more opportunities. She wanted the babies so not following you there?? That is what SHE wanted. It's what made her joyful. We can handle 4 kids together. There was no way we could afford another child and I and her discussed if she would rather me be snipped. Her mother was the deciding factor in her getting her tubes tied just in case things didn't work out for us and she met somebody else. I did choose her because I loved her. I wanted to do everything I could do to help her when needed. The majority of time we were very happy and she didn't have any signs until something was triggered (her mother). After this experience, therapy wouldn't be a bad option in my case. I work 6 days a week and do what I can do to provide for my family because I love them.
I hope you understand how this makes no sense.
After the 4th child I was ready to get snipped. She then said what if we wanted a baby when the others were grown up. I told her from my understanding that the vasectomy could be reversed. Anyways her Dr. and mother said it would be best to have her have her tubes tied right after our 4th child was born. I truly believe the only reason she went through with it is because her mother was there. My wife out of fear to appease her mother said she had the procedure after baby #3. I know most of this doesn't make sense, but that's pretty much how it occurred.
Fair enough.
OR, if the OP wants to negotiate or mediate a different schedule.
No, the OP can then know what the other party is asking for. It is, by no means, set in stone.
Really? Your suggestion for the OP once the divorce is filed to to THEN ask for marriage counseling? I'm sure the OP's gonna love it once a default judgment is entered.