What options do I have?

[rileymib81]

100 yards or not, that is still getting 3 more small children ready to walk that 100 yards, back and forth. I am sure you would not want her leaving the three smaller ones at home while she walked him? And as far as the neighbor's offering, I am sure that they do, but they are also not necessarily going to be available to do so all of the time.

The school has a pre-k/daycare which my 4 and 3 year old are enrolled in as well.

 

[rileymib81]

The school has a pre-k/daycare which my 4 and 3 year old are enrolled in as well.

When she is home she has 1 child to look after until school is out at 3:45 and I'm home by 5:10.

 

[LdiJ]

It's not just a mess. Its leaving dirty diapers everywhere not throwing them in the trash. Nasty stuff like that. Shouldn't have to hire somebody for stuff like that. Also a bus comes at the end of our street. So plenty of options. So I guess it's cool for her to hide the fact that my oldest missed 40 days of school.

My point appears to be going completely over your head. Caring for 4 small children, alone during the day plus working part time at night (even if its only 12-15 hours a week) is exhausting. Add the fact that she doesn't drive and therefore has to walk to either the school or the bus stop with the other three in tow, plus the fact that she suffers from depression, and its a serious issue.

Then, you rant and rave at her (and you admitted that you did) because the children accidentally knocked over a TV (and how did the children do that if it was properly secured?) and I can see how that might have been the straw that broke the camel's back for her.

My grandson accidentally knocked over and destroyed a 48 inch flat screen TV and while both parents were upset, neither blamed the other. They knew it was their own darned fault for not properly securing the TV.

 

[LdiJ]

The school has a pre-k/daycare which my 4 and 3 year old are enrolled in as well.

OK, so what hours is the six year old in school, what hours/days are the 3 and 4 years olds in preschool and what hours do you work?

 

[rileymib81]

100 yards or not, that is still getting 3 more small children ready to walk that 100 yards, back and forth. I am sure you would not want her leaving the three smaller ones at home while she walked him? And as far as the neighbor's offering, I am sure that they do, but they are also not necessarily going to be available to do so all of the time.

They may not be able to do so all the time, but still it is her responsibility to make sure they go to school as I'm gone way before school begins. She's had ample opportunities to get her drivers license to maybe make things easier. If I happen to get off a day (granted not many times during the school year) I have no problem taking all the boys to school. It's literally a 5 minute walk. Kids enjoy walking and it's really not a big deal.

 

[rileymib81]

OK, so what hours is the six year old in school, what hours/days are the 3 and 4 years olds in preschool and what hours do you work?

School starts at 8:25 and lets out at 3:45. I'm in work 7-5. Same hours for all classes. Obviously the preschoolers take naps.

 

[LdiJ]

School starts at 8:25 and lets out at 3:45. I'm in work 7-5

That really isn't the question I asked, however I will be more specific. Do all three children go to school Monday thru Friday from 8:25 until 3:45?

I would also ask, were all 3 children at school from 8:25 to 3:45 on the day the TV got knocked over?

 

[rileymib81]

My point appears to be going completely over your head. Caring for 4 small children, alone during the day plus working part time at night (even if its only 12-15 hours a week) is exhausting. Add the fact that she doesn't drive and therefore has to walk to either the school or the bus stop with the other three in tow, plus the fact that she suffers from depression, and its a serious issue.

Then, you rant and rave at her (and you admitted that you did) because the children accidentally knocked over a TV (and how did the children do that if it was properly secured?) and I can see how that might have been the straw that broke the camel's back for her.

My grandson accidentally knocked over and destroyed a 48 inch flat screen TV and while both parents were upset, neither blamed the other. They knew it was their own darned fault for not properly securing the TV.

Not saying it is an easy job. Raising one child is tough. My point is there seems to be no effort on her part. I rant and rave at her?? We had like a 2 minute convo how I would appreciate her keeping a better eye on the kids. In this case just 1 as the others were at school. I raised my voice as I was upset. Not sure how that is classified as ranting and raving. She has blown up on me a few times as well. I get a call everyday at 5:01 at my jobs phone making sure I left.

 

[rileymib81]

That really isn't the question I asked, however I will be more specific. Do all three children go to school Monday thru Friday from 8:25 until 3:45?

I would also ask, were all 3 children at school from 8:25 to 3:45 on the day the TV got knocked over?

I edited the post. All kids were at school. It was our 22 month old with a screwdriver that gouged the tv.

 

[Zigner]

Just an update as well... Called the school to see if my oldest was there as I was supposed to pick him up per Wife and her mother. They didn't take him and found out he missed almost 40 days last year. That is something I counted on my wife for and 40 is unacceptable. Never heard anything about this from the school as they only contact her when he misses a school day even though they have all of my information as well. So another day missed and still no contact since agreeing to terms last evening.

See, THIS is another example of you painting yourself in a bad light. You are SO uninvolved with the care of the children that you weren't aware that 40 days were missed by your child.

 

[rileymib81]

So while I was upset at the TV. I was just as mad that our 22 month old had access to a screwdriver as a lot more than just a damaged tv could have happened.

 

[rileymib81]

See, THIS is another example of you painting yourself in a bad light. You are SO uninvolved with the care of the children that you weren't aware that 40 days were missed by your child.

Because the school never contacted me. I took her word for it. I ask my son how was school everyday and ask him if he has any homework. I'm sure there were plenty of letters that got sent out to us that got tossed. I asked them why they never contacted me and they said the only call one parent. Well if a child has missed 40 days something is very wrong and it would probably make sense to try and contact the other parent.

 

[Zigner]

So while I was upset at the TV. I was just as mad that our 22 month old had access to a screwdriver as a lot more than just a damaged tv could have happened.

Yep, it could have. Darn those two year olds getting in to everything. I'm SURE that you offered to help clean the place up just as soon as you found out about it, right?

 

[Zigner]

You're just full of excuses and happy to lay blame elsewhere. You need to look at YOU.

 

[LdiJ]

So while I was upset at the TV. I was just as mad that our 22 month old had access to a screwdriver as a lot more than just a damaged tv could have happened.

Why did your 22 month old have access to a screwdriver? Does your wife routinely use screwdriver's? I can understand you blaming her if she got the screwdriver out of its secured spot and then left it lying around for the 22 month old to pick up. Did she do that?