What should I do?

[diamond123]

More**************..

This is MY OPINION - TiredofDrama - well, I won't even bother answering you. You do have some FACTS WRONG. Maybe try reading and not skipping and you could get your facts straight...maybe. What was the point of your post? You didn't help me ..did you?...so you must LOVEDRAMA...lol.

I have had a tough year - has anyone on this forum ever had a tough year?

I am 44 years old and I have been in a car accident that was not my fault - Did I sue - NO

There have been other occasions I am sure I could have sued, but I have NEVER sued anyone in my life.

I have NEVER TRIED to sue anyone in my life. Until the Migraine clinic ( you don't even know where that is at right now...now do you?) - LOVEDRAMA???

NO, the group that accused me of setting up the website never said it was not me. The forum owner said she would tell this group it was not me. LOVEDRAMA if you would have read it correctly you would have understood that and you do NOT have all your facts straight.

I did leave something out that I think is very important. During the e-mails with this group - someone sent out one of my private e-mails. This e-mail was suppose to be confidential and this was written in my e-mail. When this person forwarded on of my e-mails SOMEONE changed some of MY wording. The person that sent out this forward of my private e-mail is refusing to tell me who they sent it too.

So, Quincy I hope you are still willing to help me. You are the only one I have seen that knows what they are talking about. It seems to me the other poster's just want more problems. I am very serious about this.

Do I talk to the same type of attorney as you listed? Or is this something completely different?

All of it is from this forum and is hurting my business - or could be I should say.

 

[tiredofdrama]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO


4) The anonymous website above - I was accused from the (group that is so secretive) of
being behind this website - they finally said they realized I was not.

Oh sorry, I must have misunderstood the above sentence from your first post. My mistake.

You have no proof that anything they said did hurt your business. Someone on here already told you that you can get kicked off a forum by the moderator for no good reason at all. Quincy DID help you by telling you that it would VERY difficult to win this if you pursued it.

I WAS trying to help you becuase, yes, you are coming across as slightly unhinged and you are about to waste alot of money on something that you have very little chance of winning. Just don't go to that forum anymore. Advertise your business in other ways.

Oh, and regarding the private emails: when you put something over the internet, NEVER expect it to stay private.

 

[diamond123]

Even more problems...Please help....

Ok...Tired of Drama - I was tired and crying when I wrote that post. I did not check, but I am sure you quoted me correctly. I meant the forum owner would tell them I was not that type of person. I was WRONG when I said they said I did not have anything to do with it. I am sorry I was rude to you. I just feel like you are not taking me serious and I am very upset.

Here is another very important fact, I left out. Please try to understand I have been extremely upset over all of this. I have been betrayed and I did trust the wrong person. I put my trust in someone I should NOT HAVE. When the e-mail was sent it was said in the e-mail - this information is to stay confidential. This person even gave me their word that what I told them they would never repeat to anyone.

I did not know at the time that you could forward a e-mail and someone could change your wording in the e-mail. I am not a computer expert.

Ok, this person that sent a forward to SOMEONE that changed the wording or maybe this person changed the wording themselves. I do not know because they refused to tell me.

This person is now sending me personal harassing e-mails.

I called both registry's this morning and guess what? This person that I put my trust in is a member of this forum - but, is NOT REGISTERED with either registry of our animals.

This forum is for people that have miniature horses registered with at least one registry.

So, now I do not even know WHO I am dealing with. I took it for granted that if they were a member of this forum that the forum owner would not let someone register that was breaking her rules.

I have EVERYTHING for selling my animals - Paid advertising for up to one year, etc. with MY E-MAIL address. So, how do I stop the personal attacks from this unknown person?

I do not think the forum owner will tell me who this person is. That would be giving out personal information.

This just keeps getting worse and worse and I do not know what to do or who to contact.

PLEASE HELP - I could sure use it.

I realize I made a HUGE MISTAKE in trusting someone from this forum. I have been on this forum for years and the owner had always been very good at controlling who she allowed on her forum. That is one reason I put my trust in this person.

Any suggestions?

Could I pursue any of the above in Small Claims Court? or should I ask this question in the Small Claims part of this forum. I do not know if I can post the same problem in two different sections of this forum. Can someone help me with this also?

In small claims court it would not be so expensive and I would think the owner would have to turn this members information over. Then the harassment may stop. I am at a loss on all of this.

Every time I turn around something is happening.

I have not posted on the forum. I have requested to be deleted from the forum. The owner still has not done it and it has been over 5 days. I want my information off of her site. For some reason she will not do it. I realize this person I trusted has my information already, but if I was off of the owners site...maybe they would forget about me. Does this make any since ?

I am really trying hard here and I just do not know what to do. Please just help, I have had enough " rude " comments in the last 60 days from members of this large forum to last me a lifetime. Please I just don't want it here also.

The animal forum and this forum is the only forums I have ever been on. So, I really do not know much about forums, or e-mails that I though were confidential. I have never had this type of problem. So, I am just asking for a break here and trying to get some help. I really would appreciate that.

 

[tiredofdrama]

Okay look, you were pretty much given all the legal advice that can possibly be given to you on this situation. I'm not a lawyer, but others on here are, and you have been told that these cases are expensive and you don't have much of a case at all. What you choose to do with that advice is up to you.

A little personal advice now. I'm not trying to be harsh, but you put your trust in a person that you only know through an online forum. You have never met them. When you are conversing with people online that you have never met, you have no way of knowing if they are who or what they say they are. Even on this forum, it is best to simply state your situation and question without getting specific about who you are. You're questions will be answered and you go away knowing that nobody here knows who you are or about your life. You took a chance by getting too involved with strangers on the internet. People do it everyday and sometimes the end result is not good. Apparently there are cyber cliques out there and you found one. They are not being nice so don't play with them. They are basically resorting to the same things that school kids do to eachother everyday. In my opinion, it's pretty sad and pathetic and they all need to get a life back out in the real world with real people. Once again, not to be harsh, but you need to do that too. You're business will survive without that forum.

Stop trusting people that you can't even see. Move on with your life and concentrate on your health, family and business.

 

[quincy]

Diamond, one of the problems with the internet is that nothing is really ever totally private. Even secured sites can, and have been, hacked and personal information stolen. It is just the nature of the internet.

I never send confidential information to anyone in an email for this reason. Emails are very much like postcards, or should be treated as such. Once they are sent, they are out of your control. They can be viewed if a computer window is left open, or they can be forwarded freely - even when labeled confidential.

In your situation, if the email were altered and forwarded to others, and confidential and/or defamatory information was sent via email to anyone, there are avenues you can pursue. Again, however, just as with defamation actions, the costs of pursuing such actions are extremely expensive and very rarely worth this expense.

I am not at all sure I can see even a small claims action that you can take without having to spend far more time, money and effort than its worth.

Your problems all seem to be stemming from this animal forum. It is best that you pull what advertising you can from the site, certainly not advertise there again, and cut off ALL contact with ALL of the members, even those you thought were friends. Chalk the whole mess up to an internet lesson learned and move on. In time these forum members will move on to other things and other people and you and your business will be able to thrive again.

You could take all of the information you have gathered, all of the defamatory postings and email evidence and timelines and facts nicely outlined, and see an attorney. Have the attorney review absolutely everything you have on this forum and their activities. The attorney, with all of the material in front of him, can better assess what direction you can take to rid yourself of these toxic forum people and repair your damaged reputation. It may mean a lawsuit, it may mean injunctions, it may mean walking away and starting over on a friendlier website.

Whatever path you choose, I do wish you good luck with it all. And I advise in the future you are wary of all those you meet on the internet (with the possible exception of me ).

 

[diamond123]

Thank you and one more question please...

I do appreciate the help from both of you. Are you sure I can trust you Quincy

On a serious note, I have worked very hard at building my business and my reputation in this business. Most of the time holding down a full time job and coming home and still working with these animals. At times, it has taken my whole family to help out. I started with two 8 years ago, and I am not up to 25 and I have just recently started getting the reputation, repeat buyer's, etc. that my family have worked so hard for. This is also MY passion, not so much of my family, especially my husband. But, they have pitched in and helped me get to where I am today and it has not been an easy road. We have a lot of money invested at this time. I was just ALMOST where I wanted to be and this happens.

Ok, I have not posted on this animal forum since everything went really bad, even though I have been a member for 8 years. I have pulled my advertising at a loss for me. I can not get the forum owner to take my personal information from her forum. I have known her and I thought we were friends for almost 8 years ( of course, I did not know her in the beginning). This forum is well known World Wide. Sometimes we ship these animals to other country's. It is extremely hard to explain if you are not in this type of business, but I have given up a lot just to get away from this forum.

So, my last and finial question is I have asked twice very nicely and explained why I want my private information and all my post removed from her forum. She won't do it and I do not know why.

At first I told her if it cost her money for her computer tech to do it, just to let my post slowly slide back. Then the personaly harrassements started from the person I thought was my friend - the same person that either changed the wording in an e-mail I sent her or this person forwarded it to another person and they changed the wording.

So, I have explained this to her and asked her please to just delete me completely from her forum, saleboard, everthing. She still won't, and I don't know why. I still don't even know why I was suspended except I complained about a Flag that was so disrepectful to the USA. Remember the forum owner lives in Canada.

So, do I send her one more e-mail and this time not ASK for my information to be deleted, but DEMAND it be deleted?

If she does not delete them and I keep hearing rumers or getting harrassing e-mails, etc. then what do I do?

I have walked away as much as I possibly can. I really think if she would just delete my personal information, such as website address, e-mail address, name, etc. the rest of the stuff would stop.

So, do I demand this time? and if she doesn't what should I do?

I truly do appreciate the help. I am honestly more interested in keeping my business reputation than I am in sueing, but if this doesn't stop I can see my business I have worked so hard for going down the drain and all the money my husband and I have invested in it going down the drain as well.

AGain, I appreciate the help or any suggestions.

By the way, I have made a HUGE mistake and I am paying for it. I do not want to make this mistake worse or ever make the same mistake again.

Thank both of you for taking me serious and for the help.

 

[quincy]

As to your first question, diamond, yes - I am pretty trustworthy.

I think you are at the point where taking your information to a Missouri attorney to sort out might be your best option. You are going to run into problems since the website originates out of Canada.

If the webhost refuses to remove your personal information (and webhosts in the U.S. will often not remove material without a court order), it may have to be left on the site, unless you want to go to the expense of hiring a Canadian lawyer to handle the matter.

You could always change your email address and website address, to help eradicate the harassing communications. This might mean a temporary loss of business while you rebuild, however.

You have options here, diamond, but none of them are perfect and implementing most of them will not be cheap. I wish everything could be solved on a legal forum, but that is just not going to happen. You will need to sit down with an attorney and invest time, energy and potentially a lot of money into resolving everything - or you throw up your hands and give up and move on, working around the problems as best you can.

Good luck.

 

[diamond123]

Thank you....

Thank you Quincy and I hope you know I was joking with my question.

I fell like I am in a lose or lose situation right now. So, I just need to decide which way to go.

I can not even believe I got myself in this horrible mess. I should have known better than to put trust in anyone on the internet. I taught my children that and here I made the same mistake.

Thanks for the help! I sincerely appreciate it!

 

[quincy]

I took it as a joke, diamond.

And you're welcome. Thanks for the thanks.

I wish you, and your tiny horses, good luck.

 

[diamond123]

Thanks

Thanks Quincy - I truly do apprecaite all your help and I really do enjoy my miniature horses and I am not going to let anyone take that away from me. So, far the harrassment has stopped...so, hopefully this will go smother than I first expected it too. ( I stopped replying to ANYONE that was in anyway trying to be rude).

 

[diamond123]

An update and question**************

Ok...I tried to walk away from this forum because the way the economy is right now I can not afford to change my e-mail address. It is on EVERYTHING!

So, now I am receiving HURTFUL letters from people on this forum - I think they are mostly the forum owner's friends - but, I am not sure who they all are. I do have NAMES of most of them.

They are sending me letters - that I need medication - I am CRAZY ( their capitalization).

So, I do think it is time for an attorney - Does anyone agree?

Most of the members are in the USA.

Is a Defamation attorney the type of attorney I look for? What TYPE of an attorney do I need?

Or is it possible to file a Small Claims Suit against each one in my Country even thought they live in other parts of the USA?

I will add I have a 6 year old family member that has Cancer and only has 9 to 12 months to live from what St. Jude's has told the family. We are still praying and not giving up hope.

A couple of months ago when I thought this forum owner was my friend ( remember I had known her for about 8 years) I did tell her I went to see a physiologist over this ONCE. I told her I could not open up to a stranger so it did not do me any good.

This is WHERE I THINK - the e-mails are coming that I am CRAZY, NEED MEDICATION, ETC.

I wish NOW I would have never told her such a personal thing.

I would really appreciate any help here.

 

[quincy]

Contact the Missouri State Bar Association for direction or go online or to your Yellow Pages for free or low-cost legal aid clinics in your area. Missouri has several. There are also law schools that may have resources available, and you could check on that.

Letters to you personally cannot be used for any defamation action, regardless of what they say. If they are threatening in tone or harassing, you can always run them by the police station, but if the letters are not coming from a local source, there is little you can do to prevent them from being sent. When a suspicious letter arrives, put "return to sender" on the envelope and mail it back. Do not open it up and do not let it disturb you. Ignore.

I am not sure what to tell you, diamond. I am not sure an attorney is going to handle this for free, so if you do not have money, you may have to ignore it all, put up with the harassment, go on with your life, stay off the internet forum sites that are giving you trouble, have no contact with any of those members - do not open emails or letters from them, do not communicate back.

That is about as much help as you can receive from an online legal forum, I'm afraid. You must handle this through an attorney in Missouri or, if you cannot do that, let it all go.

Sorry I can't be more helpful than that.

 

[diamond123]

I just wanted to say..

Thank you Quincy and others. I am still getting these emotional e-mails. Somtimes I think they are from the same person using different e-mail addresses.

If anyone reads this I hope they learn from my mistake.

Again, I just wanted to thank everyone for the help!

 

[quincy]

You are welcome, diamond.

And I am sure your experience can serve as a warning to others who communicate on the internet. Not everyone on the internet can or should be trusted - especially with your personal information - no matter how well you think you know them through postings and emails.

Eventually these harassers will lose interest in you, if you do not respond in any way. It is the response from you that keeps them going.

Good luck.