when plans interfere with visitation

[onmytime]

Well, here's the thing. You can't expect to have it all spelled out, yet then be able to tell him "Sorry! I've got a family event on your weekend so you can have the kid the weekend after." If it's spelled out and signed by the judge - that IS what you follow unless you can get him to agree to a switch. If it means that you and/or one of the kids has to miss an event as a result - then that's what happens. In real life, people don't ALWAYS get to attend family events. QUOTE]

I understand what you are saying but then I don't, so please forgive me for being so new to all of this. I understand that I may not just be able to up and go on a weekend trip with family or friends like I use and we will have to split holidays which will cut out a lot of travel as well but from what I understand dad will probably get two weeks vacation with our child. So when dad is ready to exercise his vacation (2 consecutive weeks for now and as he gets older more) with our son, that time will interfere with my scheduled weekends. And will he be allowed to break his vacation time up? My child's father always goes home for at least a month during the summer to visit family. He won't be staying a month with our child but he probably will have two weeks to do as he wishes. So how is it that I am the only one that has to work around a visitation plan when it comes to vacation and be back before his weekend? Do I need to have it stated in the child custody decree that I would like 2 weeks uninterrupted vacation time as well to make sure there are no problems when I would like to go on vacation? thanks for all the input.

 

[CJane]

Do I need to have it stated in the child custody decree that I would like 2 weeks uninterrupted vacation time as well to make sure there are no problems when I would like to go on vacation? thanks for all the input.

in most agreements, both parents get two uninterrupted weeks in the summer - provided they live close enough to each other to facilitate frequent year round visitation. There will be a specific date set as a deadline for letting each other know which two weeks you'd like to have. If that date goes by without notification being made, there will be a default vacation time set.

As the CP, you have to do more working around schedules because you have the kids more. That's just the way that it is.

 

[sissyo69]

I am really thankful that ON the RARE occasions a conflict arises between me my 3 children, their 3 parents and my current husband that ALL the adults set down ( This is NO joke ) Everyone states request ( or whomever has confict ) And then we play ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS. Best 2 out of three wins.
THAT was noone feels superior children dont feel guilty about having fun with the parentt(s)that won and NOT feel sad for the parent(s) that lost.

Now when it comes to my husband and his ex? OMG its hell. I want to slap their hands and set them down and make them write sentences. Like 1000 times..
I will not be selfish and will always consider the needs/desires of my child and how important whatever the other parent wants is to them.
or..
They will only be children once. When they are grown I cannot get it back.

 

[stealth2]

So how is it that I am the only one that has to work around a visitation plan when it comes to vacation and be back before his weekend?

The long and the short of it is that you have a significant amount of time above what Dad has. A lot of that is "work" time, but it provides for the ability to bond on a much more consistent basis than eow and a couple of weeks in the summer. As such, it is your responsibility to be more accomodating to ensure that your child and the father have the opportunity to bond. It's always best to have things clearly defined when it comes to visitation - you guys can always switch weekends, but remember that it has to be by agreement. Neither of you can make a unilateral decision to take a different w/e.

Do I need to have it stated in the child custody decree that I would like 2 weeks uninterrupted vacation time as well to make sure there are no problems when I would like to go on vacation? thanks for all the input.

Yes, it would be wise to have that clearly spelled out.

 

[LdiJ]

Here is a link to the parenting time guidelines for my state. They are very thorough and could help you with ideas regarding what you need to have included in your agreement.

http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/#index

As far as your Vegas trip is concerned...I would try to have put in the agreement that for 2005, you get the dates of XXXX regardless of whether or not it would normally be part of his parenting time. If he won't agree, then ask the judge to order that you get those dates. Its a reasonable request, known in advance. Dad's attorney would certainly advise him to agree to it...and there is little likelihood that a judge would turn you down.

 

[Ron1347]

My son-in-law, and three of my sons, ran into that very same situation with their ex's. Other than going before a judge and requesting as has been suggested...YES!...the CP 'must' accommodate the NCP's vacation time, whether it conflicts with 'CP's' usual time or not! We are 'Michigan', and that's the way it turned out 'here' for those I mentioned. In otherwords, my sons' vacation times fell on some of CP's normal designated time, CP's were given 'no choice' but to forfeit 'their' weekends that fell within NCP's vacation time. And, then CP's hollered, 'well, then I should have some makeup time as compensation'. Judge told the CP's...'NO', it IS the way it is, THE END, PERIOD!

P.S.; Oh...and a couple of the CP's did in fact claim that some of the NCP's vacation conflicted with CP's pre-planned and important agenda which was to include the children. Judge told the CP's, 'that's unfortunate but...'!

 

[Ron1347]

Restraining Orders? (Michigan)...They are so easy to get it's absolutely rediculous and unbelievable! NO proof, NO witness, NO NOTHING, but the 'word' of the person seeking it! And that's a fact! The person it is against, not even having to be notified nor asked to come forth to dispute at the time of the request. They just find out, when they receive the notice in their mail. And it doesn't take long at all to get one. Walk into the courthouse, request an emergency hearing before the judge, it's granted immediately, tell a one-sided story, and *bam*, you have your restraining order within minutes. I've seen it myself MANY times.

 

[casa]

Restraining Orders? (Michigan)...They are so easy to get it's absolutely rediculous and unbelievable! NO proof, NO witness, NO NOTHING, but the 'word' of the person seeking it! And that's a fact! The person it is against, not even having to be notified nor asked to come forth to dispute at the time of the request. They just find out, when they receive the notice in their mail. And it doesn't take long at all to get one. Walk into the courthouse, request an emergency hearing before the judge, it's granted immediately, tell a one-sided story, and *bam*, you have your restraining order within minutes. I've seen it myself MANY times.

That is only for TEMPORARY orders- then there is a court date within a month's time where the issues need to be proven in order for the order to continue. This, while sometimes abused, is designed to provide legitimate protection for those in immediate need.

 

[Ron1347]

I'm sorry...I apoligize...yes, temporary (30 days), I should have added that. Sorry, at my age I'm easily excited.