Will I get in trouble for cutting off long term partner suddenly or will I have to pay something like alimony?

[commentator]

There are definitely female stalkers, bullies and abusers, and the biggest problem in these abuse situations is that when one is not physically dominant, it is often easy for most people to disregard the level of danger and real harrassment they can present. Doubt if a protective order would be granted until AFTER this long time girlfriend was really misbehaving. And I really really do not believe limiting the level at which you "disappoint" her or spring this on her will determine how bad the reaction to the leaving will be. Would we ever advise an abused woman to tell the abuser that she was taking all her things and moving into another place? There are some people that you cannot treat fairly, deal with in an adult manner. And unfortunately for abused men, we tend to expect men to "be the better man" and try to be chivalrous, fair, etc. much more than we expect that of women who are fleeing an abusive situation. Yes, if you are employed, you can probably expect her to show up at your job, try to sabotage your work with your supervisors, etc.

The thing you should remember is to watch your back, cover your bases, and never underestimate the level to which this person may go. Hope for the best, but anticipate the worst. Do notify your friends and family members, you need their support, though she may have separated you from them in the past. DO NOT let her "talk" to you again, even to tell her to leave you alone. These people expect you to respond as you always have, they know which buttons they've successfully pushed in the past. That's why good counseling would be very helpful for you while you're going through this. An attorney who can give you some legal advice would be a good start, domestic abuse centers can be very helpful, though you probably do not need a shelter situation.

My husband's ex carried a set of his dental records around for years, (for when he had the crash and burn accident which she was hoping for and willing to pay for.) She relocated to where she expected him to move to, and had the mail at his relatives home sent to her place instead. Many years later, we still lock all the doors, and have very good security cameras and protective equipment. Crazy people (to use a highly technical professional term) just do not go away and stop bothering you, no matter how nice or not nice you were to them in the separation process.

 

[quincy]

There are definitely female stalkers, bullies and abusers, and the biggest problem in these abuse situations is that when one is not physically dominant, it is often easy for most people to disregard the level of danger and real harrassment they can present. Doubt if a protective order would be granted until AFTER this long time girlfriend was really misbehaving. And I really really do not believe limiting the level at which you "disappoint" her or spring this on her will determine how bad the reaction to the leaving will be. Would we ever advise an abused woman to tell the abuser that she was taking all her things and moving into another place? There are some people that you cannot treat fairly, deal with in an adult manner. And unfortunately for abused men, we tend to expect men to "be the better man" and try to be chivalrous, fair, etc. much more than we expect that of women who are fleeing an abusive situation. Yes, if you are employed, you can probably expect her to show up at your job, try to sabotage your work with your supervisors, etc.

The thing you should remember is to watch your back, cover your bases, and never underestimate the level to which this person may go. Hope for the best, but anticipate the worst. Do notify your friends and family members, you need their support, though she may have separated you from them in the past. DO NOT let her "talk" to you again, even to tell her to leave you alone. These people expect you to respond as you always have, they know which buttons they've successfully pushed in the past. That's why good counseling would be very helpful for you while you're going through this. An attorney who can give you some legal advice would be a good start, domestic abuse centers can be very helpful, though you probably do not need a shelter situation.

My husband's ex carried a set of his dental records around for years, (for when he had the crash and burn accident which she was hoping for and willing to pay for.) She relocated to where she expected him to move to, and had the mail at his relatives home sent to her place instead. Many years later, we still lock all the doors, and have very good security cameras and protective equipment. Crazy people (to use a highly technical professional term) just do not go away and stop bothering you, no matter how nice or not nice you were to them in the separation process.

Abusers typically are most dangerous when their target leaves or attempts to leave the abusive relationship. While it might seem like a “scumbag move” to hide intentions, this is actually a critical time for the abused person and could very well require some stealth.

 

[Taxing Matters]

I’m thinking I’m just going to toss my phone and get a new one.

If it's a cell phone the critical part that identifies the phone to the carrier is the SIM card. Depending on the model of the phone you may either replaced the SIM card yourself or find a shop that will do it for you. That should be a lot cheaper than tossing the whole phone and getting a new one.

If she does try to take me to court what type of lawyer should I get?

That will depend on what she sues you for. If she sues claiming common marriage, for alimony/support, or similiar dispute then a family law attorney is what I'd choose. If the claim is a contract claim or just a dispute about who owned what then an attorney who does general litigation should suffice.

I had a lease with my landlord, but it’s ending now and he knows we planned to move out ahead of time. I didn’t sign a lease for a new place.

Did she sign a lease? If neither of you signed a lease, where did you tell her you were going to move? If she is allowed to stay at the current place then she may sue you for your share of the rent until the lease ends even if the landlord agreed to let you out of the lease. And if she can't stay then where is she going to go? Are you just planning to leave her homeless?

 

[Maxaxas]

If it's a cell phone the critical part that identifies the phone to the carrier is the SIM card. Depending on the model of the phone you may either replaced the SIM card yourself or find a shop that will do it for you. That should be a lot cheaper than tossing the whole phone and getting a new one.



That will depend on what she sues you for. If she sues claiming common marriage, for alimony/support, or similiar dispute then a family law attorney is what I'd choose. If the claim is a contract claim or just a dispute about who owned what then an attorney who does general litigation should suffice.



Did she sign a lease? If neither of you signed a lease, where did you tell her you were going to move? If she is allowed to stay at the current place then she may sue you for your share of the rent until the lease ends even if the landlord agreed to let you out of the lease. And if she can't stay then where is she going to go? Are you just planning to leave her homeless?

My phone didn’t have a physical SIM card and I didnt have time to deal with it. It’s already tossed so it doesn’t matter either way.

Based on the links people posted it doesn’t look like we would be considered common law married. I didn’t bother to take any of the stuff that she could try to dispute is hers. Basically just clothes and a few personal items.

No new leases were signed. She thought we were moving to a house across town. The lease with my landlord was up and we’re all moved out now. She wouldn’t be able to get back in unless she breaks in. She has family or friends she can stay with. I honestly don’t care what happens to her

 

[quincy]

My phone didn’t have a physical SIM card and I didnt have time to deal with it. It’s already tossed so it doesn’t matter either way.

Based on the links people posted it doesn’t look like we would be considered common law married. I didn’t bother to take any of the stuff that she could try to dispute is hers. Basically just clothes and a few personal items.

No new leases were signed. She thought we were moving to a house across town. The lease with my landlord was up and we’re all moved out now. She wouldn’t be able to get back in unless she breaks in. She has family or friends she can stay with. I honestly don’t care what happens to her

Then it’s now a done deal. Good luck going forward.