Worried mom

[camom]

What is the name of your state? California

I am the mother of young infant in CA. I have recently filed for divorce to end my 14 month marriage. Out of spite my soon to be ex-husband has been threatning to run off with our son. He says he will even go as far as to make false allegations to authorities. I don't think any of them will stand because I make a good living, don't drink or smoke and don't even have a parking ticket on my record. Because I just found out that I can't just kick him out of our apartment I have to live with him for the next 2 weeks till I can move into a new residence. I never leave my son alone with him and sleep with him in my bedroom with the door locked for fear he will take him in the middle of the night. Dramatic, I know but I don't want to take any chances. I am a GREAT mother, take care of my son by myself financially and with my whole heart. What can I do to insure that he can't just sign him out of daycare or take him outside and not return. Without court papers I was told that the police will just chalk it up to a custody dispute and I'll have to wait for a court date to get him back. My ex-husband does'nt even know the name of his doctor or when his immunizations are due next! At this point is it just a race to the court house to see who can file for custody first and the loser is th one that makes it there last? Any information would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance and god bless.

 

[CandiceH]

File immediately for custody. That is the only advice I can give you right now. Maybe someone from CA will be along in the morning. I would do it first thing Tuesday though if you are that frightened.

 

[ceara19]

How do you figure that you have been the ONLY financial support where the child is concerned? Has your husband contributed to the household expenses at anytime over the past 14 months?

 

[camom]

Unfortunately, no. I have always been and remain my sons main provider. My son is only four months old. During that time my soon to be ex-husband has only given me half of the rent for one month. No bills, no insurance, no groceries. Strike that, he did buy two packs of diapers once. This is the main reason for the divorce. Before my son was born I might have put up with a bit of his wasting money antics (shopping online, eating out with friends) but I have a bigger reponsibility now and he won't pull things together. He did'nt make that much money when we first met either but I never said make more money, just be more responsible with the money you earn to secure a future and the well being of our son. I know there can be a lot of one sided arguments in this forum but I speak a universal truth. He has only given me 400.00 so therefore I am the main provider for my son.
As for my legal question, any advice on what to do based on my original post? Any advice is appreciated!

 

[Inquiry123]

He says he will even go as far as to make false allegations to authorities. I don't think any of them will stand because I make a good living, don't drink or smoke and don't even have a parking ticket on my record.

That should help if he falsely tells the authorities that you're poor, drink, smoke, or have outstanding parking tickets. Next allegation, please.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? California

I am the mother of young infant in CA. I have recently filed for divorce to end my 14 month marriage. Out of spite my soon to be ex-husband has been threatning to run off with our son. He says he will even go as far as to make false allegations to authorities. I don't think any of them will stand because I make a good living, don't drink or smoke and don't even have a parking ticket on my record. Because I just found out that I can't just kick him out of our apartment I have to live with him for the next 2 weeks till I can move into a new residence. I never leave my son alone with him and sleep with him in my bedroom with the door locked for fear he will take him in the middle of the night. Dramatic, I know but I don't want to take any chances. I am a GREAT mother, take care of my son by myself financially and with my whole heart. What can I do to insure that he can't just sign him out of daycare or take him outside and not return. Without court papers I was told that the police will just chalk it up to a custody dispute and I'll have to wait for a court date to get him back. My ex-husband does'nt even know the name of his doctor or when his immunizations are due next! At this point is it just a race to the court house to see who can file for custody first and the loser is th one that makes it there last? Any information would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance and god bless.

Well....you could talk to the daycare and explain what is going on, and ask them to either take him off of the pickup list or to at least call you before releasing the child to him. (temporarily until their are court orders) They may or may not be willing to do that.

In the meantime, you probably need file for temporary custody ASAP.

 

[ceara19]

Well....you could talk to the daycare and explain what is going on, and ask them to either take him off of the pickup list or to at least call you before releasing the child to him. (temporarily until their are court orders) They may or may not be willing to do that.

In the meantime, you probably need file for temporary custody ASAP.

Without a court order, the daycare cannot stop dad from picking up HIS child. They could call mom and tell her, but interfering could cause the daycare to lose their license.

 

[ceara19]

Unfortunately, no. I have always been and remain my sons main provider. My son is only four months old. During that time my soon to be ex-husband has only given me half of the rent for one month. No bills, no insurance, no groceries. Strike that, he did buy two packs of diapers once. This is the main reason for the divorce. Before my son was born I might have put up with a bit of his wasting money antics (shopping online, eating out with friends) but I have a bigger reponsibility now and he won't pull things together. He did'nt make that much money when we first met either but I never said make more money, just be more responsible with the money you earn to secure a future and the well being of our son. I know there can be a lot of one sided arguments in this forum but I speak a universal truth. He has only given me 400.00 so therefore I am the main provider for my son.
As for my legal question, any advice on what to do based on my original post? Any advice is appreciated!

He HAS contributed to the household then. You can't claim to be the SOLE provider if he is paying for any part of the expenses.

It's not that I doubt anything you have said, it's just a fact. However, EVERYBODY that comes here and exaggerates their side of the story CLAIMS to be speaking the truth. So don't expect anyone to just take you at your word.

IF he makes false allegations to the authorities and they are, in fact, lies, they may not hold up, but they will still be investigated. Plenty of child abusers have good jobs, don't drink, don't smoke and have no parking tickets.

At this point, he has just as much right to have the child as you do. Can you PROVE to a judge that he is threatening to take the child and make false allegations against you? Will he own up to this in court? There is NOTHING in your post that will keep dad from having a relationship with his child, unsupervised.

 

[LdiJ]

He HAS contributed to the household then. You can't claim to be the SOLE provider if he is paying for any part of the expenses.

Go back and re-read what she posted....

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Go back and re-read what she posted....

I suggest you do so also. This couple is not married therefore , the daycare provider has no legal authority to stop dad from taking HIS son.

 

[LdiJ]

I suggest you do so also. This couple is not married therefore , the daycare provider has no legal authority to stop dad from taking HIS son.

BB...where are you going with this? Re-read what you wrote.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

BB...where are you going with this? Re-read what you wrote.

I should have said MARRIED. BOTH parents have equal rights to the child. The daycare facility has no legal rights to stop the father from taking his child.

Got tripped up on the married not married.

 

[ceara19]

Go back and re-read what she posted....

OK, I have re-read her post. My answer is still the same. By HER own admission, he HAS contributed. In her original post she claims:

I am a GREAT mother, take care of my son by myself financially and with my whole heart.

That is NOT true if dad is contributing to the household. What is it that you think I have missed?

 

[camom]

I will file for temporary custody first thing in the morning. You are right, I can't prove his threats and I know the courts don't want to hear any more 'he said, she said' then they already hear on a regular basis. If he files a temporary restraining order against me, which he's threathen to do, he can't prove any of his untrue allegations either, can they award it to him with no proof and give him temporary custody as well? Am I in a race to the court house and loser files last?
In addition, thank you for your responses. For those of you with legal expertise it's just a few key strokes at your computer, but the sense of relief, confidence and even the truths people don't want to hear and very valuable to those despate for information. In my case as with many others on this site we are asking about our most precious relationship and loves, our children. I thank you for your time. Sorry to go all Hallmark on you, but I mean it sincerly!

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I will file for temporary custody first thing in the morning. You are right, I can't prove his threats and I know the courts don't want to hear any more 'he said, she said' then they already hear on a regular basis. If he files a temporary restraining order against me, which he's threathen to do, he can't prove any of his untrue allegations either, can they award it to him with no proof and give him temporary custody as well? Am I in a race to the court house and loser files last?
In addition, thank you for your responses. For those of you with legal expertise it's just a few key strokes at your computer, but the sense of relief, confidence and even the truths people don't want to hear and very valuable to those despate for information. In my case as with many others on this site we are asking about our most precious relationship and loves, our children. I thank you for your time. Sorry to go all Hallmark on you, but I mean it sincerly!

How do you propose to file for custody without an attendant divorce petition?