Worried mom

[camom]

He has contributed 400.00, Add 40 more for diapers. But that is for his half of the rent and he resides here so I think it's fair. Also that was three months ago and I have paid for rent, groceries and all of the bills since myself. This includes my sons formula, clothes, toiletries, health insurance, toys etc. He has not even purchased a toy for my son so in my mmind only 40.00 directly benefited my son in the 4 months since he has been born. Money issues are petty if he could'nt afford to help but not when he chooses not to and instead spends his money for his own pleasure. Its just a slap in the face to have false allegations threathened against you when you've done everything for your child and someone threathens to say the opposite.

 

[camom]

How do you propose to file for custody without an attendant divorce petition?

I have filed for divorce, He has not been served yet. Is this what you meanby attendant divorce petition? Forgive my ignorance of legal terms.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I have filed for divorce, He has not been served yet. Is this what you meanby attendant divorce petition? Forgive my ignorance of legal terms.

yep, but don't expect the court to rule on a temp custody order until he has been served and has had a chance to answer.

 

[camom]

[ You are right, I can't prove his threats and I know the courts don't want to hear any more 'he said, she said' then they already hear on a regular basis. If he files a temporary restraining order against me, which he's threathen to do, he can't prove any of his untrue allegations either, can they award it to him with no proof and give him temporary custody as well? Am I in a race to the court house and loser files last?

 

[Ohiogal]

He has contributed 400.00, Add 40 more for diapers. But that is for his half of the rent and he resides here so I think it's fair. Also that was three months ago and I have paid for rent, groceries and all of the bills since myself. This includes my sons formula, clothes, toiletries, health insurance, toys etc. He has not even purchased a toy for my son so in my mmind only 40.00 directly benefited my son in the 4 months since he has been born. Money issues are petty if he could'nt afford to help but not when he chooses not to and instead spends his money for his own pleasure. Its just a slap in the face to have false allegations threathened against you when you've done everything for your child and someone threathens to say the opposite.

And he has contributed to the household. As his spouse, you have a duty to support him and he you. You may disagree where the money goes but he is providing some support if only for his habits.

 

[ceara19]

[ You are right, I can't prove his threats and I know the courts don't want to hear any more 'he said, she said' then they already hear on a regular basis. If he files a temporary restraining order against me, which he's threathen to do, he can't prove any of his untrue allegations either, can they award it to him with no proof and give him temporary custody as well? Am I in a race to the court house and loser files last?

It's not a race to see who gets to the courthouse first. The judge is just as likely to give him temporary custody of the child based on no actual PROOF of any wrong doing on your part as he is to give YOU temporary custody based on what YOU have. The judge is not required to give EITHER of you temporary custody of the child. You may very well end up with temporary JOINT custody.

 

[Noelle_71]

I had a lawyer tell me recently that anyone can allege anything, file a petition, make a claim, say whatever they want, it's the proof that the judge cares about. So, this guy threatening you with false allegations is just that a threat, if he can't prove it, don't worry about it.
It has been my experience in the day care situation, that legally, you can't do anything unless it's on paper, however, when I was in a situation, I spoke to my daycare provider and she assured me that they would not allow the child to be taken if they suspected anything was untoward..they went on to say that their duty was to the child and they would take any and all steps to ensure the safety of that child, not only from the dad, but from me as well and that they would not hesitate to call the authorities if they suspected anything was up. She told me that the best defense for the, the daycare is that - and she was being truthful - they have the safety of the child to think about. I have to tell you, that impressed me and I'll never switch daycares. Right or wrong legally, this made sense to me and it seems that it would make sense to a judge, maybe I'm wrong.
I realize that some people here will likely fuss at me for making this statement, however, I find that if you are honest with care givers, bosses, landlords, etc..most will try to stay neutral but they also have the safety of children first and foremost.

 

[Noelle_71]

It's not a race to see who gets to the courthouse first. The judge is just as likely to give him temporary custody of the child based on no actual PROOF of any wrong doing on your part as he is to give YOU temporary custody based on what YOU have. The judge is not required to give EITHER of you temporary custody of the child. You may very well end up with temporary JOINT custody.

Isn't there a stipulation on children under a certain age though?

 

[ceara19]

Isn't there a stipulation on children under a certain age though?

Generally, no. However, if the child in question is still a YOUNG infant (under 1) an argument can be made for shorter, more frequent visits. It would mostly depend on the judge.