2 different dads

[Litigation!]

What is the name of your state? NC
The birth father of my son who is 11years old didn't have anything to do with my son he didn't pay child support. I got remarried and my husband adopted my son. We didn't have to have the biological dad sign anything because the lawyer said he abanded my son. Now I have divorced my husband and the biological dad is back in the picture with my son. He is now paying child support but so is my exhusband who adopted my son. My ex is not wanting my child to see his biological father. He has said he is going to get a lawyer to make my son not see his biological father. Is he allowed to do that? Can my exhusband make my son not see his biological father? Is it legal for me to be receiving child support from both men? Neither knows the other is paying. But the biological father does owe me for back childsupport.
Please help me!!!
Lisa

My response:

Just think . . . with all that extra money, you could actually afford a new single-wide trailer!

IAAL

 

[shell007]

My response:

Just think . . . with all that extra money, you could actually afford a new single-wide trailer!

IAAL

NAAA!!! With all that extra money...the MOM is carrying a "new Louis Vuitton bag".

 

[Rushia]

No you don't understand. Or maybe I don't understand. I did not invite Bio dad to come back into my son's life. I didn't want my son to ever meet him. But when I divorced my husband I had to move back to the town I am from which is where he lives. So by accident he ran into me and my son in the local store. I love my son and want to only do what is best for him. So what do I do when he says "that is my real father and I want to see him" then I have my ex saying no he can't see him but my ex doesn't even see my son now. My son is completly in the middle of this mess and I don't know how to get him out or what is best. The reason why bio dad is paying child support is because It is back child support. I would rather not have any money from either of them so my child won't get hurt. That is why I'm writing I don't know what to do. Do I tell my child when he askes to see bio dad do I say no you can't because when you were little he left you. I mean is that the best thing to say?

So, then you knew where biodad was the whole time? How old was the child when the adoption happened? Fact is that your ex hubby is the childs father now, the adoption sealed that. You can't change your mind about it now. You cannot play "musical daddy".

 

[nextwife]

So by accident he ran into me and my son in the local store. I love my son and want to only do what is best for him. So what do I do when he says "that is my real father and I want to see him" then I have my ex saying no he can't see him but my ex doesn't even see my son now. My son is completly in the middle of this mess and I don't know how to get him out or what is best. The reason why bio dad is paying child support is because It is back child support. I would rather not have any money from either of them so my child won't get hurt. That is why I'm writing I don't know what to do. Do I tell my child when he askes to see bio dad do I say no you can't because when you were little he left you. I mean is that the best thing to say?

Yeah, right. You used totally incorrect adoption language. Your son SHOULD have had it explained to him that YOUR EX hubby is his "real father. This is the man that adopted him and has helped support him. He is his REAL, LEGAL father. The other man is his "biodad", NOT his "Real dad". Adoptive parents are no less REAL. You should have straightened son out right at the beginning! You are the one who let this go on.

You tell him that a child's PARENTS decide who a child spends time with. And it is up to you AND his DADDY whether he spends time with another grownup.

 

[Rushia]

Yeah, right. You used totally incorrect adoption language. Your son SHOULD have had it explained to him that YOUR EX is his "real father. This is the man that adopted him anhd has helped support him. He is his REAL, LEGAL father. The other man is his "biodad", NOT his "Real dad". Adoptive parents are no less REAL. You should have straightened son out right at the beginning! You are the one who let this go on.

And that's what bothers me. The child was "little" when his biodad left. Who told the child that was his real (bio) father? Hmmmm**************

 

[lilylanex3]

No you don't understand. Or maybe I don't understand. I did not invite Bio dad to come back into my son's life. I didn't want my son to ever meet him. But when I divorced my husband I had to move back to the town I am from which is where he lives. So by accident he ran into me and my son in the local store. I love my son and want to only do what is best for him. So what do I do when he says "that is my real father and I want to see him" then I have my ex saying no he can't see him but my ex doesn't even see my son now. My son is completly in the middle of this mess and I don't know how to get him out or what is best. The reason why bio dad is paying child support is because It is back child support. I would rather not have any money from either of them so my child won't get hurt. That is why I'm writing I don't know what to do. Do I tell my child when he askes to see bio dad do I say no you can't because when you were little he left you. I mean is that the best thing to say?
scummy bitch

 

[lilylanex3]

My son was old enough when my ex adopted him that he new that wasn't his real father. I never lied to my son. The real father told him he was the real father NOT ME I would never had told him and didn't want him to know who the real father was. BUT now he knows and now he askes to see him so AGAIN should I tell him no he can't see his real dad when my son asks to see him. The so called REAL FATHER as you say the adopted father is in a different state and has not seen my son In over a year. NOW YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO I have my son asking why his father doesn't want to see him and then I won't let him see his other dad (bio dad)

 

[Lisabyday]

No you don't understand. Or maybe I don't understand. I did not invite Bio dad to come back into my son's life. I didn't want my son to ever meet him. But when I divorced my husband I had to move back to the town I am from which is where he lives. So by accident he ran into me and my son in the local store. I love my son and want to only do what is best for him. So what do I do when he says "that is my real father and I want to see him" then I have my ex saying no he can't see him but my ex doesn't even see my son now. My son is completly in the middle of this mess and I don't know how to get him out or what is best. The reason why bio dad is paying child support is because It is back child support. I would rather not have any money from either of them so my child won't get hurt. That is why I'm writing I don't know what to do. Do I tell my child when he askes to see bio dad do I say no you can't because when you were little he left you. I mean is that the best thing to say?

When you made the decision to move back to your home town knowing that the bio-dad lives there, surely you recognized that there was a possibility that you would run into him.

You say you would rather not have any money from either of them but you somehow are "having" money from both of them-does "having" the money from both "dads" lessen the hurt that your son is going through?

How did your son find out who his "real dad" is? Seems pretty crappy that the adoptive father is no longer considered the "real dad". That is something that you as the "real mother" should clarify for him.

Looks like the first step in clearing up this mess is to be up front with yourself first and then having a little heart-to-heart with all involved.

Honesty is not a bad thing unless you are in politics.

 

[nextwife]

Do I tell my child when he askes to see bio dad do I say no you can't because when you were little he left you.

You simply say "He's not your dad anymore. Your DAD is John Smith and always will be (or whatever ex hubby's name is) and THAT is the man you should be worrying about spending time with."

 

[Litigation!]

No you don't understand. Or maybe I don't understand. I did not invite Bio dad to come back into my son's life. I didn't want my son to ever meet him. But when I divorced my husband I had to move back to the town I am from which is where he lives. So by accident he ran into me and my son in the local store. I love my son and want to only do what is best for him. So what do I do when he says "that is my real father and I want to see him" then I have my ex saying no he can't see him but my ex doesn't even see my son now. My son is completly in the middle of this mess and I don't know how to get him out or what is best. The reason why bio dad is paying child support is because It is back child support. I would rather not have any money from either of them so my child won't get hurt. That is why I'm writing I don't know what to do. Do I tell my child when he askes to see bio dad do I say no you can't because when you were little he left you. I mean is that the best thing to say?
scummy bitch

FROM THE INITIAL POST​

:

He is now paying child support but so is my exhusband who adopted my son. Is it legal for me to be receiving child support from both men? Neither knows the other is paying.

My response:

I notice in this last post you make no mention of getting child support from both men. In fact, you made sure not to mention this fact to either.

Boy, when money is at stake, it's mums-the-word.

You really are trailer trash!


IAAL

 

[lilylanex3]

THe only reason I am keeping money from Bio dad is because he owes my son back child support way before he was even adopted. I was a single mother with no child support and didn't even meet the real (adopted) dad until my son was 5.

 

[Litigation!]

THe only reason I am keeping money from Bio dad is because he owes my son back child support way before he was even adopted. I was a single mother with no child support and didn't even meet the real (adopted) dad until my son was 5.

My response:

Oh, okay . . .

Everybody has an excuse when money is involved. Why don't you do this legally?

Also, were you ever on State Aid?


IAAL

 

[nextwife]

My son was old enough when my ex adopted him that he new that wasn't his real father. I never lied to my son. The real father told him he was the real father NOT ME I would never had told him and didn't want him to know who the real father was. BUT now he knows and now he askes to see him so AGAIN should I tell him no he can't see his real dad when my son asks to see him. The so called REAL FATHER as you say the adopted father is in a different state and has not seen my son In over a year. NOW YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO I have my son asking why his father doesn't want to see him and then I won't let him see his other dad (bio dad)

His father lives in a different state because YOU MOVED AWAY! Did you get his Dad's permission before moving away? Normally the party that creates the distance is responsible for the added cost of visitation across the distance.

Well, now that you have this extra cash flow, why not send kiddo to spend Spring Break with his dad?

 

[lilylanex3]

Is it being done legally. and no i did't receive any state aid
bio dad is paying through state because he has a certain amount the state says he has to pay for back child support

 

[Lisabyday]

THe only reason I am keeping money from Bio dad is because he owes my son back child support way before he was even adopted. I was a single mother with no child support and didn't even meet the real (adopted) dad until my son was 5.

Didn't you say earlier that you would rather not take ANY money from either of them so that you son wouldn't be hurt? Chit, I am confused-Make up your mind!