Can I ignore Court Subpena for testifingagainst my husband on DV case ? Please help!

[Proserpina]

You are an idiot!

I know plenty of women who could take the average man in a fair fight.

He's trolling, Lady.

He's...well, he's like the Seahawks at the Superball.

Got there once, still hasn't managed to win.

 

[SmokeyParkCop]

You are an idiot!

I know plenty of women who could take the average man in a fair fight.

The FACT is the male and the female body are different in a number of ways that make this improbable. First and the most obvious of which being where men and women carry the 'majority' of their strength, while women tend to have stronger legs then men, the majority of a man's mass is in his upper body and core, which are the main muscle groups you would you in a 'fair fight'. I could also compare the difference between testosterone and estrogen, you see, testosterone increases muscle protein synthesis, which, simplified helps build muscle, while estrogen, has been shown to be a factor in lose of muscle, but it also increases and maintains bone strength. These are just two basic differences and just of many reasons you don't see women playing professional football or boxing professionally against men.

The best comparison i can make is a teenager fighting a 7yr old child, the teenagers muscles are much more developed then the 7yrs olds, it's just not the right thing, no man should Ever hit a women.

This is why i was surprised to see you all put the blame on this poor little women!

 

[Ladyback1]

The FACT is the male and the female body are different in a number of ways that make this improbable. First and the most obvious of which being where men and women carry the 'majority' of their strength, while women tend to have stronger legs then men, the majority of a man's mass is in his upper body and core, which are the main muscle groups you would you in a 'fair fight'. I could also compare the difference between testosterone and estrogen, you see, testosterone increases muscle protein synthesis, which, simplified helps build muscle, while estrogen, has been shown to be a factor in lose of muscle, but it also increases and maintains bone strength. These are just two basic differences and just of many reasons you don't see women playing professional football or boxing professionally against men.

The best comparison i can make is a teenager fighting a 7yr old child, the teenagers muscles are much more developed then the 7yrs olds, it's just not the right thing, no man should Ever hit a women.

Nope, you're still an idiot....and you are showing gender bias.

oh...I'm not putting blame on this woman. I am saying her story doesn't seem kosher. What I am saying is that women, as a general rule, are just as capable of being physically abusive to their male spouse (or female spouse for that matter) as the reverse. What I am saying is that there is NO REASON for anyone to strike another in anger.

Oh and what else am I saying? You're an idiot!

 

[TheGeekess]

The FACT is the male and the female body are different in a number of ways that make this improbable. First and the most obvious of which being where men and women carry the 'majority' of their strength, while women tend to have stronger legs then men, the majority of a man's mass is in his upper body and core, which are the main muscle groups you would you in a 'fair fight'. I could also compare the difference between testosterone and estrogen, you see, testosterone increases muscle protein synthesis, which, simplified helps build muscle, while estrogen, has been shown to be a factor in lose of muscle, but it also increases and maintains bone strength. These are just two basic differences and just of many reasons you don't see women playing professional football or boxing professionally against men.

The best comparison i can make is a teenager fighting a 7yr old child, the teenagers muscles are much more developed then the 7yrs olds, it's just not the right thing, no man should Ever hit a women.

This is why i was surprised to see you all put the blame on this poor little women!

Your misogyny is showing.

 

[CdwJava]

Well, truth be told, all things being equal a man usually can take the woman ... it's not misogyny, it's biology. Training and experience can certainly even the playing field, though it's typically on the male's side there, too. But, battery doesn't require that the victim be smaller or equal size. Abuse can occur even if the victim is twice the abuser's size. The relative sizes are not generally a factor in abuse, but they CAN be a factor in determining self defense.

 

[SmokeyParkCop]

Well, truth be told, all things being equal a man usually can take the woman ... it's not misogyny, it's biology. Training and experience can certainly even the playing field, though it's typically on the male's side there, too. But, battery doesn't require that the victim be smaller or equal size. Abuse can occur even if the victim is twice the abuser's size. The relative sizes are not generally a factor in abuse, but they CAN be a factor in determining self defense.

I actually dated a women for awhile who was applying to be a police officer, back then, they had different physical fitness levels for men vs women. Are you the member that's a Police officer? I wonder if it's still like that....I wonder if the forum members that called my biological facts misogyny would say the same thing about the police physical fitness requirements.

 

[CdwJava]

I actually dated a women for awhile who was applying to be a police officer, back then, they had different physical fitness levels for men vs women. Are you the member that's a Police officer? I wonder if it's still like that....I wonder if the forum members that called my biological facts misogyny would say the same thing about the police physical fitness requirements.

There is one standard, though it has been arguably lessened over the decades so as to accommodate more women. The argument against the old standards was that they arbitrarily created a standard that had no place in police work. How often might an officer have to do 30 chin-ups or some such thing? But, running a long distance, climbing a 6' fence, and dragging a 180 lb. dummy 15 yards, THOSE can be applicable tests for the job.

Different states have different rules, but for the most part today the tests have to be grounded in real-world law enforcement activity. Though, where we lose women, is the wall. Many women cannot make it over the 6' wall - especially when hey try to emulate the men. The men in the academy are taught to leap up and PULL themselves over ... women are taught, instead, to leap up and swing a leg over as they tend to lack the upper body strength to pull themselves up and over so them instead, swing a leg over and roll over the top. Of course there are exceptions, but, as a rule, the wall is the most difficult for women (at least out here in CA).

 

[Ladyback1]

I actually dated a women for awhile who was applying to be a police officer, back then, they had different physical fitness levels for men vs women. Are you the member that's a Police officer? I wonder if it's still like that....I wonder if the forum members that called my biological facts misogyny would say the same thing about the police physical fitness requirements.

The majority of Montana Law enforcement agencies do not have a different expectation for women than they do for men. All candidates MUST complete the "obstacle" course within 6.5 minutes, or they fail.

 

[SmokeyParkCop]

The majority of Montana Law enforcement agencies do not have a different expectation for women than they do for men. All candidates MUST complete the "obstacle" course within 6.5 minutes, or they fail.

She was applying, i think, somewhere in Maryland, i have no idea if she ever even got into the academy. Maybe i'll call her next weekend, it's been awhile since i said hi.

Looks like its different for the army.
http://usmilitary.about.com/od/army/a/afpt.htm

ETA: No wait! I remember it was Baltimore, i asked her if she was suicidal, printed all the crime stats for the area for her, but she still applied. We didn't stay together long after that!

 

[Ladyback1]

She was applying, i think, somewhere in Maryland, i have no idea if she ever even got into the academy. Maybe i'll call her next weekend, it's been awhile since i said hi.


ETA: No wait! I remember it was Baltimore, i asked her if she was suicidal, printed all the crime stats for the area for her, but she still applied.

I'm sure she would LOVE to hear from you

I will hazard a guess that if a male friend of yours indicated his desire to apply to the police academy you wouldn't have asked if they were suicidal, or printed out the crime stats...

 

[Rwedunyet]

Smokey,

THIS defenseless little woman was in a "bad relationship" twenty something years ago. The first (and subsequently last) time he hit me, I cracked him upside the head with a pitch fork (don't mess with me when I'm cleaning the barn). He spent the night in jail, and I haven't seen him since. I did not get in any trouble as the police felt that I had responded in self defense (had the black eyes to prove it).

THIS defenseless little woman also recently succeeded in fighting off a would be rapist. You wanna know why I could fight him off? Because he incorrectly thought I was a defenseless little woman.

THIS defenseless little woman can spew testosterone, too.

I farm for a living. I throw bays of hay around, clean out stalls, tack up horses, and work on tractors.

Wanna arm wrestle? we can even scratch an itch and spit afterwards if it will make you feel better. Get a grip.

 

[TigerD]

You are an idiot!

I know plenty of women who could take the average man in a fair fight.

What is this thing you call "a fair fight?"

Since this thread has turned into absolutely nothing about the OP's problem, I'm going to add my copper Lincoln twins.

1. I staunchly oppose difference in physical requirements based on gender in the military. Women are not going to become less dead because they can't meet the physical standard. I am, however, in favor of a job classed physical standard. A computer jockey doesn't need to be able to meet the height/weight and APFT standards. In fact, we probably lose a lot of otherwise qualified people because of that. That said - I acknowledge it would be next to impossible to administer.

2. Anybody - male or female - holding a knife or gun in an aggressive manner toward me is a threat and will be dealt with in the most appropriate way - whether that be giving them my wallet and asking if they'd like the car keys too, running like a gazelle after a night meth and coke, or dispatching them in the most efficient manner available if the previous option prove to be unavailable.

3. Anybody who advises a person to grab the hand of someone standing over you holding a gun is either a comedian with a specialty in dry, gallows humor, or the movie director trying to shoot the perfect action scene. Regardless, it is just about the dumbest advice I've seen on this site.

4. For the OP: If you have been subpoenaed you must appear. You should talk to a local attorney about your situation and not post any more of it on the internet. You need to protect your interests while testifying - and there are enough questions with what you've posted that you should be concerned.

5. Additionally for the OP: Some of the other posters alluded to this point, albeit obscurely. As far as getting back together with this man, don't be stupid. The two of you had a fight bad enough for you to pull a knife on him. Think about that for a moment. You are considering getting back together with a person who scared you so badly you felt you needed to threaten to carve him up like a Christmas turkey -- AND he didn't believe you while you stood there with the knife in your hand. If you get back together with this person, it is very likely to end with one or both of you dead.

6. Regardless of what you decide to do, you and the kiddos need counseling. You both have been through a traumatic experience. You were frightened. They saw their Mom so scared she was about kill their father. Pretty serious stuff that. Treat it as such.

DC

 

[Rwedunyet]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Chicago, il

. This was the first time he hit me in 16 yrs.
T
Please please advice soon!

Smokeyparkcop has graciously shown you exactly why it is up to YOU and you ALONE to make sure that this is the ONLY time he hits you instead of the first time he hits you. This is YOUR responsibility, to both yourself and (more importantly) your children. What will it teach your children if you let him back in the position to do this again? It will teach them cowardliness, that's what.

You want to forgive him, that's great. Do it from safety. Your children deserve that. NO child should EVER see what your children have seen.

I'm left to wonder if ANYTHING has been done for these kids. They were likely terrified, and more than likely, are sill terrified. The ONLY correct answer right now is to testify against the man that threatened you and terrorized your children in the process. The time that you'll spend waiting for this to go to trial would be well spent locating a counselor that will help you AND your children learn to cope with this in a positive way.

Seriously, re-read what you posted. You described a horrific scene, esp to children, and defended it by saying that it was only the first time it had happened. How many times does he have to do it before it's wrong? How many times do your children have to witness this, and fear for their parents' lives before it's wrong? One more time? two more times?

Stop putting this man before your kids. They deserve better. If you cannot provide them with the safety that they need, then please find them a guardian that can.

There is help out there. Ask the police to point you towards resources for battered women. Ass your local child protective services for guidance. Call your local hotline. Do SOMETHING besides protecting this man, who is an adult**************...it's the CHILDREN that need your protection right now.

edited because I spell like a doofus

 

[stealth2]

It shouldn't matter who was the one who started the fight or what happened with the knife, you don't hit a women, as soon as he slapped her he was guilty and deserves everything he gets. You don't bring it to that level with a lady, there is NO need to hit the weaker sex, there is no more excuse to hit a women then there is a child, there are a lot of parallels and it's just something you don't do. there is something seriously wrong with a man who would do something like that.

Man, whole buncha piles stepped in there! IMO

 

[anearthw]

This woman grabbed a knife in fear of her life and husband threatened to commit suicide in front of the children....

Is this really the most appropriate place to showcase one's personal opinion about what constitutes domestic violence or a gender argument? Really? This is going to court, don't you suspect that the facts of this case are in more capable hands at the moment? Is there NOWHERE else on the internet where you can showcase irrelevant opinions without disrupting a crisis in a person's life?