Child refuses to visit a parent.

[stealth2]

Could we PLEASE stop encouraging thread hijacking?

 

[jumpinbean27]

Same situation!

I am in this same situation. My son is 10 and he refuses to go with his father! His father never calls to check on him for months at a time...we have court ordered child support and it is never paid. That has nothing to do with that because my son never knows when it comes because I put it in the bank for him when he does FINALLY pay here and there! Anyway...His father gave him the choice to call whenever he wanted to come to his house, otherwise we dont hear from him. It has been 4 months and we have heard NOTHING! I talk to my son about him and if he wants to call him and he refuses. But, his father never even sends word or calls on special occasions. He never even called his son on Father's day.

There is no fighting because his father gave him the right to chose when he wanted to come over, and when he does go he has to pack a bag for the weekend to have anything to use. No clothes, no toothbrush, not even a bed at his house! Poor fellow has to sleep on the couch!!

Now, is there anything that I (PERSONALLY) can do in this situation????

 

[>Charlotte<]

Jumpinbean, you need to start your own thread.

 

[jumpinbean27]

Jumpinbean, you need to start your own thread.

Sorry about that...just trying to help! I did take your adice and open my own thresd...maybe you could take a look at it as well????

 

[ariastar]

The necroposting of this thread is an epic fail. Stay tuned for next year's revival!!

 

[stressedatbest]

Sometimes there are reasons children don't want to visit !

My daughter is 14 . She use to live with my ex . And now has moved back home with me . Before she moved back with me . I could see a difference in her . She would come over for visits . And have a different attitude about my ex . Then one night out of the blue , she asked if she could move back home ? I said "yes" of course .
She wanted ME to call my ex and I said "no" . That this was to be between them . And she needed to explain why .
My daughter is an A&B honor roll , doesn't cause any problems , doesn't have an attitude . (yet) LOL . So as far as of now . Yes , I do let her make some decisions in her life . I do explain to her that she needs the other parent in her life , and how miserable my ex must be . For her not wanting to visit . And how miserable it would make me if she didn't want to visit me . She says she has her reasons . And as of yet . I do not know what they are . When she is ready she will tell me .
I do have to say . That my ex has not called for her , has not written her , nor emailed her . In the past 2 weeks . And as a parent I feel that my ex should be EVER present in showing our daughter that she is very important .
I do NOT feel . ( and I have been on both sides of this argument) That it is NOT the custodial parents "fight" to get the children to visit NCP ! There is a reason why it is that the children do NOT want to visit . Whether it be a temporary or permanent decision .
If the NCP wants to see the child badly enough . He or she should walk up to the door and ask the child to come with he or she . And if the child refuses . The NCP has the right to question the child . It shouldn't have to be the CP's "fight" . Making the child upset at both parents serves no purpose . The child should be able to confide in someone during this time . It is however the CP responsibility . To encourage , rather discourage the child from visiting the NCP . The child deserves to have as much support as possible . It's just not the CP decision .
When my daughter lived with the ex . I would call either the house phone or her cell and talk to her . And ask if she wanted to come and visit . If she said "yes" . WONDERFUL ! If not ... sure I was bummed . At this age however . They are more interested in their social life . And that is ok . Just as long as they know their parents are there for them no matter what .
If I was in the town ( my home town) where my ex lives . I would call and say "hey I'm here in town do you want to go eat , hang out , a movie ? Something . Just to let her know , I cared . 50/50 % chance she would say "yes" . But you will never know unless you keep on trying . Will you ? That's why all NCP AND CP should always TRY .
I ask on a weekly basis if she is ready to visit with her Dad . And she says "no". As far as now goes . When she is ready . She will eventually visit .
I am fair , honest and a caring person . And like I said above . I've been on both sides of the NCP & CP .
Being FORCED to go some where is never a good thing . Our oldest daughter refuses to go . For her own reasons also . And that was because my ex took us all through a custody "battle" for one child . When there were 3 children .
Even that being said . The ex still has the right to visit with the children . And the children have the right to visit ex .
But again ************** being forced to go doesn't make for a nice visit .

 

[Ohiogal]

My daughter is 14 . She use to live with my ex . And now has moved back home with me . Before she moved back with me . I could see a difference in her . She would come over for visits . And have a different attitude about my ex . Then one night out of the blue , she asked if she could move back home ? I said "yes" of course .
She wanted ME to call my ex and I said "no" . That this was to be between them . And she needed to explain why .
My daughter is an A&B honor roll , doesn't cause any problems , doesn't have an attitude . (yet) LOL . So as far as of now . Yes , I do let her make some decisions in her life . I do explain to her that she needs the other parent in her life , and how miserable my ex must be . For her not wanting to visit . And how miserable it would make me if she didn't want to visit me . She says she has her reasons . And as of yet . I do not know what they are . When she is ready she will tell me .
I do have to say . That my ex has not called for her , has not written her , nor emailed her . In the past 2 weeks . And as a parent I feel that my ex should be EVER present in showing our daughter that she is very important .
I do NOT feel . ( and I have been on both sides of this argument) That it is NOT the custodial parents "fight" to get the children to visit NCP ! There is a reason why it is that the children do NOT want to visit . Whether it be a temporary or permanent decision .
If the NCP wants to see the child badly enough . He or she should walk up to the door and ask the child to come with he or she . And if the child refuses . The NCP has the right to question the child . It shouldn't have to be the CP's "fight" . Making the child upset at both parents serves no purpose . The child should be able to confide in someone during this time . It is however the CP responsibility . To encourage , rather discourage the child from visiting the NCP . The child deserves to have as much support as possible . It's just not the CP decision .
When my daughter lived with the ex . I would call either the house phone or her cell and talk to her . And ask if she wanted to come and visit . If she said "yes" . WONDERFUL ! If not ... sure I was bummed . At this age however . They are more interested in their social life . And that is ok . Just as long as they know their parents are there for them no matter what .
If I was in the town ( my home town) where my ex lives . I would call and say "hey I'm here in town do you want to go eat , hang out , a movie ? Something . Just to let her know , I cared . 50/50 % chance she would say "yes" . But you will never know unless you keep on trying . Will you ? That's why all NCP AND CP should always TRY .
I ask on a weekly basis if she is ready to visit with her Dad . And she says "no". As far as now goes . When she is ready . She will eventually visit .
I am fair , honest and a caring person . And like I said above . I've been on both sides of the NCP & CP .
Being FORCED to go some where is never a good thing . Our oldest daughter refuses to go . For her own reasons also . And that was because my ex took us all through a custody "battle" for one child . When there were 3 children .
Even that being said . The ex still has the right to visit with the children . And the children have the right to visit ex .
But again ************** being forced to go doesn't make for a nice visit .

START YOUR OWN THREAD. You do not get to hijack and this is a thread that is two years old that for some reason keeps getting necroposted.

 

[stressedatbest]

Chill out

This whole device is about reading and giving advice . And that is what people do here . So what that the thread is over 2 years old ! We have the right to answer how we see fit . Don't we ?
That's the whole idea of this isn't it ,to seek advice ? Read these threads , and hopefully find some advice that will work for ya ?
People can still post to what threads they want to . I didn't break any laws .
Get over it ! If it bugged you so much . Why even reply ?

 

[TheGeekess]

This whole device is about reading and giving advice . And that is what people do here . So what that the thread is over 2 years old ! We have the right to answer how we see fit . Don't we ?
That's the whole idea of this isn't it ,to seek advice ? Read these threads , and hopefully find some advice that will work for ya ?
People can still post to what threads they want to . I didn't break any laws .
Get over it ! If it bugged you so much . Why even reply ?

Why give advice to people that are long gone, never to return?

If you have a problem, start your own thread. If you don't, don't post to dead threads; it may keep someone from reading a recent thread and offering help.

Oh, and way to go for dissing the family law attorney.