Sometimes there are reasons children don't want to visit !
My daughter is 14 . She use to live with my ex . And now has moved back home with me . Before she moved back with me . I could see a difference in her . She would come over for visits . And have a different attitude about my ex . Then one night out of the blue , she asked if she could move back home ? I said "yes" of course .
She wanted ME to call my ex and I said "no" . That this was to be between them . And she needed to explain why .
My daughter is an A&B honor roll , doesn't cause any problems , doesn't have an attitude . (yet) LOL . So as far as of now . Yes , I do let her make some decisions in her life . I do explain to her that she needs the other parent in her life , and how miserable my ex must be . For her not wanting to visit . And how miserable it would make me if she didn't want to visit me . She says she has her reasons . And as of yet . I do not know what they are . When she is ready she will tell me .
I do have to say . That my ex has not called for her , has not written her , nor emailed her . In the past 2 weeks . And as a parent I feel that my ex should be EVER present in showing our daughter that she is very important .
I do NOT feel . ( and I have been on both sides of this argument) That it is NOT the custodial parents "fight" to get the children to visit NCP ! There is a reason why it is that the children do NOT want to visit . Whether it be a temporary or permanent decision .
If the NCP wants to see the child badly enough . He or she should walk up to the door and ask the child to come with he or she . And if the child refuses . The NCP has the right to question the child . It shouldn't have to be the CP's "fight" . Making the child upset at both parents serves no purpose . The child should be able to confide in someone during this time . It is however the CP responsibility . To encourage , rather discourage the child from visiting the NCP . The child deserves to have as much support as possible . It's just not the CP decision .
When my daughter lived with the ex . I would call either the house phone or her cell and talk to her . And ask if she wanted to come and visit . If she said "yes" . WONDERFUL ! If not ... sure I was bummed . At this age however . They are more interested in their social life . And that is ok . Just as long as they know their parents are there for them no matter what .
If I was in the town ( my home town) where my ex lives . I would call and say "hey I'm here in town do you want to go eat , hang out , a movie ? Something . Just to let her know , I cared . 50/50 % chance she would say "yes" . But you will never know unless you keep on trying . Will you ? That's why all NCP AND CP should always TRY .
I ask on a weekly basis if she is ready to visit with her Dad . And she says "no". As far as now goes . When she is ready . She will eventually visit .
I am fair , honest and a caring person . And like I said above . I've been on both sides of the NCP & CP .
Being FORCED to go some where is never a good thing . Our oldest daughter refuses to go . For her own reasons also . And that was because my ex took us all through a custody "battle" for one child . When there were 3 children .
Even that being said . The ex still has the right to visit with the children . And the children have the right to visit ex .
But again ************** being forced to go doesn't make for a nice visit .