Custodial Parent rights

[CourtClerk]

So now you have decided that teenagers SHOULD get to choose?...because that is basically what you are saying here.

I am really surprised to hear you state the opinion that a mother cannot successfully raise a son into manhood, considering that you are a mother of a son.

Ld, you never heard me say anything like that. What I said was BOYS. NEED. THEIR. FATHERS. just like they NEED. THEIR. MOTHERS. My son has a male figure that he is CONSTANTLY involved with, 3 minutes from my house, on a regular basis. If in his senior year of high school, presumably months before he's supposed to turn into an ADULT, LISTEN to them. There very well may be a reason WHY he wants to go, and for HIM, you may want to consider. Let him choose? Hell no. However, weigh the options and make the choice yourself, the same way I would either choose or not choose to buy him the pair of shoes he absolutely loves and I absolutely HATE. No, as women we don't know how to be men. If the powers that be intended women to be able to raise children by themselves, we would be able to have them without male intervention at all. And note, I'm a mother of 2 boys, one of which I've already had to make that decision about. In that case, I said no. In my younger one's case, if he made that request, I'd think about it damn hard, but he'd probably go for a while. WHY???? Because it's not ABOUT ME, it's ABOUT HIM and I'm not so momcentric to think that although we don't get along, he can't do some male bonding and see him more than his football coach does.

Stealth, albeit not a great relationship all the time, your kids HAD their father. What is so wrong with a child missing that part and wanting THAT TIME, that they had with their MOTHER, with their FATHER... you know, the other half of their DNA??????? Is it because he's a man that he doesn't get a hand in actively raising that that he's expected to pay for?

Starting over had it right

Kids don't decide, but there comes a time in their lives where if you've raised them to think independently......their opinions should carry some weight and you have to let them spread their wings a bit....

 

[stealth2]

Stealth, albeit not a great relationship all the time, your kids HAD their father. What is so wrong with a child missing that part and wanting THAT TIME, that they had with their MOTHER, with their FATHER... you know, the other half of their DNA??????? Is it because he's a man that he doesn't get a hand in actively raising that that he's expected to pay for?

Perhaps you should reread what I posted. Because I posted what starting over did - BEFORE starting over posted it. You know.... where I said that I would discuss his reasons for wanting to move and then likely let him do so. Or did you miss that in your need to once again go after LDi? I'll even quote what I posted for you, so you don't have to go to the trouble of searching for it:

I have to agree that it was a comment which surprised me. I know plenty of women (myself included) raising boys into men. I also know plenty of men raising girls into women. It can be done - and done successfully. I may not be a man, but I've raised my son to be a good one, IMO. And yes, I say *I* because his Dad spends minimal time with him - by his choice.

As for OP... it's a tricky place to be in. My son is also a senior this year, and I can't imagine his wanting to leave his friends and classmates this last year. However, if he expressed that desire, I would have to entertain it. He'll be 18 in four months - and he can then do as he likes, legally. I'd hope that he's thought it through, I'd talk to him about his reasons, and then I'd let him choose. Because fighting over it now could cost me the relationship I have with him. And that isn't something I'd be willing to lose. Think about that, OP. It could well be that your son would be making a mistake. But we all do - and then we learn from the experience. I bet your son will - and working through it with him will only solidify your relationship.

See - I know what happened, CC. I dared comment on your words of 'wisdom' regarding women being unable to raise boys to men, and you quit reading right there. You didn't even bother reading the rest of my post. No, I didn't mention that my son has had several solid male role models locally. Or that I have offered repeatedly over the years for Dad to have the kids at time other than ordered, as well as to come down here and spend time with them - and said I'd split the bill with him both on transport and on his accommodations.

Well, you can take your outrage and bite me. Next time try reading the entire post before getting all high and mighty.

 

[CourtClerk]

Well, you can take your outrage and bite me. Next time try reading the entire post before getting all high and mighty.

Perhaps I struck a nerve because there was absolutely no outrage towards you at all - and I stopped biting people a long time ago, so you'll have to get your jollies from someone else.

As a matter of fact, there was no outrage. All of yall need a drink or something.

 

[CJane]

Huh. Pretty sure if I was a newbie that posted that my GIRLS had been living with their DAD and I felt like they should live with me because they WANTED to and because I have a (golden) UTERUS, I'd get my head bit clean off.

Who knew that having penii in common with their parent was required for boys to become men.

 

[stealth2]

CJane - you wouldn't even have to be a newb. And we know who the first to tell you off would be.

And in all honesty? Men AND women are able to raise opposite gender kids pretty darned well. I know guys who had to deal with menstrual issues with the daughters they were raising alone. And I've dealt with male issues with my son (as well as female issues with my daughter). 'Cause both were comfortable with my taking that role. LOL My face has never been so smoooooove before!

 

[CJane]

CJane - you wouldn't even have to be a newb. And we know who the first to tell you off would be.

And in all honesty? Men AND women are able to raise opposite gender kids pretty darned well. I know guys who had to deal with menstrual issues with the daughters they were raising alone. And I've dealt with male issues with my son (as well as female issues with my daughter). 'Cause both were comfortable with my taking that role. LOL My face has never been so smoooooove before!

Yeah, I know. I also know of at least 3 boys in my family who are being raised in fatherless households - and two of them have never even MET their fathers - and they're turning out peachy keen. I'm more than ok with that.

I also know plenty of completely screwed up people raised in intact families.

 

[AkersTile]

I'm glad you can handle the role of both parents when it comes to stuff like that. 10 year old stepdaughter has started asking about sex, boys, and puberty. I don't think I've ever seen my husband leave a room so fast. LOL.

 

[CJane]

I'm glad you can handle the role of both parents when it comes to stuff like that. 10 year old stepdaughter has started asking about sex, boys, and puberty. I don't think I've ever seen my husband leave a room so fast. LOL.

My oldest started her period at 11 and I'm pretty certain it's just around the corner for my 9.5 year old. I shudder to think about it, and a large part of me is so happy that the girls have a step-mom to handle some of the girlier stuff because in my experience, their father is incapable of buying "feminine products".

 

[stealth2]

I'm glad you can handle the role of both parents when it comes to stuff like that. 10 year old stepdaughter has started asking about sex, boys, and puberty. I don't think I've ever seen my husband leave a room so fast. LOL.

And that's not a good thing. He should be manning up and figuring out how to talk to her about it. IMO.

Now, that said, #2 looked mortified when I suggested that she talk to her Dad about supplies she may need. No.Way. (not surprising as he had previously thrown pads, etc all over the front lawn.) So... I asked her who she'd feel comfortable talking to when at her Dad's. She said her grandma (Dad's mom, who is not local) or - if she had to - her stepmom. I questioned the "if she had to" and she said that she'd rather I gave SM a heads up. Okay. I did. To get back an email telling me that she would decide what #2 needed at their home and I had no say. Uuuuh.... all I said was that #2 was starting having her period, she'd chosen to use XYZ product, and she'd asked me to let SM know. I am assuming that you are more open than that.

But it would help her if Dad could learn to talk with her. LOL If I can talk to #1 about wet dreams and morning erections.... he can talk to her about periods, etc.

 

[AkersTile]

I'm sure he could if he tried (and maybe even without making funny faces ) but neither one of them want to talk to each other about that stuff. She either talks to me or her Mom. Although she will bring it up in front of Dad just to laugh at the faces he makes. He won't even buy me products if he's at the store. I think he might be scared of them

 

[stealth2]

He won't even buy me products if he's at the store. I think he might be scared of them

LOL Tell him my 17yo has no problem with it. He may roll his eyes when I ask and say "okay. fine." but he does it.