Have talked to my sister and have a power of attorney, trust, will and a letter from myself detailed my wishes, concerns, etc. Also, have copies of police reports and other information that might be needed if it comes to it. My ex does not want to discuss my cancer in terms of eventual outcome. All he will tell me is that if he needs to he will figure out a way to handle the girls but he is doing the best he can right now but every day is a battle for him to hang on. My "estate" is completely in order. I am in good health at the moment as far as my cancer is concerned but my doctor has been straight up that once the cancer has invaded my soft tissue (liver in this case), five year life expectancy is < 5 percent.
I am not going to debate any further if I am trying to make my ex who I want him to be. He has been diagnosed with clinical depression not by me but by several psychologists. He is suicidal and has been seen at the hospital mental ward and the county agencies but he will not take medicate that has been prescribed. He goes to AA but hates everyone there so I don't know if he will continue to stick with it. He has to go for his DUIs but after that is over I am not sure what will happen.
My family will not get into trouble because they are looking after the interests of my children. Certainly they will request a review if it comes to that. I will continue to try to discuss with him the kids future but he is not one to plan beyond today so these discussions are not fruitful.
For the record, his change in mental condition has occured over time (last five years of our marriage). I didn't get "knocked up" by a nut case through reckless actions. I was married and we had a very good marriage. He had his issues when I married him but who doesn't. I don't know what really happened and I would have done anything to save our marriage... I didn't take getting divorced lightly at all. By the way, he was a good Christian man. He and I both are Catholic and raised Catholic. He used to believe in God.
His hatred of God now is just a very radical change in his self. I don't believe who he is today is who he always was and wanted to be. He hates who he is and says that he hates who he has become. You can pin this on me if you want. I have spent many nights since being divorced sitting on the other end of the phone with him because he wanted to kill himself and was afraid. I have gone to the emergency room with him, county mental health agencies, suicide hotlines. I went to counseling and they advised me I was enabling him and was going to remain a victim as long as I did this. It never helped regardless and last winter I had to take care of myself finally.
I could write a book. ... but I'll stop now.