Bruno6301,
I dont blame you for the way you feel. We are in a similar situation. Although hubby and his ex werent ever married.
You do what you feel is right to protect your child no matter what. As a mother of 2 I would do whatever it takes to protect my children period. Let me tell u about my story a little and you can see it from my point. I'll try to keep it short.
Hubby gets a call from ex stating he needs to take a paternity test. and that hes not the only one to take it there are 6 men suppose to take the test. well guess what hubby is the only one that showed up (we just recently found this out). she couldnt locate the other men. hubby goes for paternity test ect the test shows he is in fact the father ect.
We then get a letter from state stating that he OWES 11,000 for when she got state aid. We hire a attorney our attorney states that it would be better if we got custody (the child was living with grandparent) Not sure about the reasoning
we go to court get custody (joint) we move this child into our home thinking everything is going to be great. we were going to give this child the love and stability that he needed.
thats when all hell broke loose. we were shocked to find out the things that we know now.
My son (4 yrs old) was sexually assaulted by this other child .
we then learned he has been receiving counseling when the counselors called me and asked why he wasnt in counseling. I said excuse me she repeated her question again i then told her i wasnt aware he was suppose to be in counseling.
I then told her about what my child was telling me and she then reported it to DHS. DHS comes to my home and talks to my son and he tells them what happened they tell us donot do anything until we hear from them. well that was over a year ago and still nothing.
This whole situation blew my mind i thought if i couldnt protect them in this world at least i could protect them in our home. boy was i wrong! after really thinking about what my son had been through i told hubby to give him back to his mother my only concern was helping my son get through his ordeal. I dont want to start a argument here because no one here knows the hell ive been through. this child turned my home inside out ect.
my son refuses to talk about it. i couldnt allow this to continue happening if i allowed that it could cost me my children Yes before any one asks i contacted a attorney who told me was it worth losing my kids over to keep him in my home i told him no.
the attorney said it would be better to give him back to mother
this is just brief as to what ive been through. it almost cost me my marriage everything. you must remember that we never knew this child exsisted until we were notified. had hubby known he had another child out there he would have done what was right. he was just as shocked as i was and we both done the very best we could but when you have one parent thats tries to teach you right from wrong and another parent that just dont give a damn.
I really symphathize with you cause i know what its like to have your world turned upside down and all that. Dont judge anyone until you walk a mile in their shoes is what i always tell people.
and i wouldnt wish this on any one.
i dont agree with the legal system and there way of doing things its not fair. This situation is very screwed up and i didnt tell you everything thats happened cause it would take a book i just wanted you to know that I dont bleam you for the way you feel.
you did your best and thats better than doing nothing.
your main concern right now is your child it was hard for me because it seemed no matter what I did someone was gonna get hurt. Also i had to keep this from happening again i had other children to protect. You arent the only one out there that had a kid just about destroy everything. i for one can see what you have been through having been there myself and its not pretty and i am really sorry about your loss. well hope to talk soon.
angrymomof2 (tn)