Ugh, people like this bother me
. My hubs has been pretty much the only "father" in my lil bits life since she was 2 and she's now 7. Never once have we tried to make him dad, call him dad, or let her forget that she has a dad but that things in his life make it difficult for him to see her. It always makes me sad to see so many parents try to replace real dads (yes, even if they're crummy) with "dads". Sorry, i'll step off my soap box now
BUT, I might have to slightly disagree with you here Zig. I'm currently going through this issue here in FL
D I understand the situation with OP may or may not be the same as they're in a totally different state) and according to my lawyer the situation can be weighed upon whats in the best interest of the child. If dad has been out of the pic for a large number of years without contact with the child then a judge may weigh in the childs interests without the need for consent from dad, and allow for the hyphenated last name. Op needs to consult with a reputable family attorney who can review the details of the situation and advise what to do from there.